Driving Peeves: SUV's & Turn Signals

[Mental Gridlock]

Which aspect of the highway transportation system do you despise the most? For me it's two things, SUV's blocking my vision and people not using their turn signals.

 

[Evo]

People driving under the speed limit, not using their turn signals, having their turn signal on and not intending to turn, tailgaters.

 

[BicycleTree]

People not taking buses when they can.

 

[juvenal]

People who drive slowly in the leftmost lanes, and/or don't let people pass them.

 

[BicycleTree]

People not taking bicycles when they can.

 

[Evo]

People riding bicycles in those expensive little outfits on single lane roads with no shoulders and so hilly/curvy that there is no passing allowed for 10 mile stretches and it's extremely dangerous to attempt going over into the oncoming lane due to the inability to see uncoming traffic.

My feeling is if I need to go around one of these suckers and I'm faced with an oncoming car, the bicycle guy is going to die. tsk I guess they should have picked a less dangerous route.

 

[Moonbear]

People riding bicycles in those expensive little outfits on single lane roads with no shoulders and so hilly/curvy that there is no passing allowed for 10 mile stretches and it's extremely dangerous to attempt going over into the oncoming lane due to the inability to see uncoming traffic.

My feeling is if I need to go around one of these suckers and I'm faced with an oncoming car, the bicycle guy is going to die. tsk I guess they should have picked a less dangerous route.

Oh, the worst was when I lived in Ann Arbor. The idiot bicyclists created half the traffic in the town as they wove in and out of traffic, the wrong way down one-way streets, and had complete disregard for traffic safety. They should have all been ticketed! If you want to share the road with cars, then follow the laws or get ticketed...or squashed!

 

[Huckleberry]

Around here it is the roads. Pot holes all over the place and they have been fixing the same stretch of road for about 3 months now. What about all the other pot holes that need fixing before the next winter?

 

[Evo]

Out here the roads are still a bit "rural" but these rich snotwads put on their expensive designer bike outfits and get on the main arteries thinking they're in the "Tour de France" and tie up traffic for miles. We get a lot of farm equipment on the roads here, but every mile or so, they pull to the side and let traffic go by. You'd think these brain dead cyclists would do the same.

The child of evo used to make fun of my ranting about the bicyclists until she started driving and barely missed a serious collision thanks to one, now she's on my side.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Speeding is the #1 cause of accidents. I dislike fast, impatient drivers, especially of the teenage variety. Last year, two days in a row I passed flipped over cars on the highway. Both had a gaggle of teenagers standing next to them, trembling, waiting for the authorities.

 

[DaveC426913]

Other people driving on my roads.

 

[Huckleberry]

Them youngsters think they are invulnerable. A car load of them ran into my brother in law. They were all drunk. All four of them died when they collided with a guard rail, flipped, and ran into my brother in law driving under an overpass. One of my brother in laws friends died also. Very much a tragedy for everyone. My brother in law walks with a cane now.

And living in Arizona I became very wary of elderly drivers. I don't know if they can't see or they forget where they are going, but they should have both adequate vision and memory to be allowed to drive. There was even one old guy who got on the highway in a golf cart. Where was he going?

 

[Huckleberry]

Other people driving on my roads.

If you want the roads all to yourself then you should go for a drive Thanksgiving morning.

 

[DaveC426913]

If you want the roads all to yourself then you should go for a drive Thanksgiving morning.

Which one? Yours or ours?

I was frankly surprised at how much you guys invest in this holiday. 'Trains, Planes and Automobiles' made a lot more sense to me after someone clued me in on your Thanksgiving tradition.

 

[JamesU]

from observation, just about anyone in arizona that is on the road...in tenisee, they have you pull the car out, drive around the building, and park, in their driving tests...and they still have better drivers than us!

 

[Huckleberry]

Oops, I didn't realize you weren't from the U.S. I'm sure there must be a holiday where you are that everybody takes a day off work.

Yeah, Thanksgiving is a big holiday here for many families.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Driving pet peeves, well, I would say http://www.catass.com/toonces/toonces1.avi

http://www.catass.com/toonces/

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

The people who forget how to drive in the rain between every rainy season.
People who tail gate infuriate me. When ever I have someone close to my bumper for more than 20 seconds I take my foot off the gas and coast until they get irritated enough to change lanes. Then sometimes I'll spead up to keep them from getting in front of me. Occasionally I just tap my break but it seems people get pissed at me and flip me off a lot when I do that.
OH! And those bastards with the super bright headlights get under my skin too. A couple times I have gotten myself behind them and turned my brights on in hopes that they get the picture.

 

[Curious3141]

The people who forget how to drive in the rain between every rainy season.
People who tail gate infuriate me. When ever I have someone close to my bumper for more than 20 seconds I take my foot off the gas and coast until they get irritated enough to change lanes. Then sometimes I'll spead up to keep them from getting in front of me. Occasionally I just tap my break but it seems people get pissed at me and flip me off a lot when I do that.
OH! And those bastards with the super bright headlights get under my skin too. A couple times I have gotten myself behind them and turned my brights on in hopes that they get the picture.

Well, if you're road-hogging in the fast lane you deserve it. You shouldn't be going in the fast lane in a multi-lane road even if you're driving at the speed limit. If you see a faster car coming up behind you, you really should signal and move to the slower lane, that's just common courtesy.

Have you considered that the people who need to get by you are perhaps in a real hurry ? Like maybe they have a medical reason ? In any case, what does it profit you to play dog-in-the-manger ?

A lot of the time, drivers are forced to overtake people like you by using the designated slower lane, but this is dangerous. And in some places in the UK, doing this is actually illegal, so people are forced to endure roadhogging in the fast lane in mute rage.

Tailgating is wrong, and I don't do it or condone it, but if the road-hogging moron in front doesn't "get it" and move over, just how does one drive home the point ? The only unequivocal way to get the message across is with a brief flash of the headlights, but that can be irritating and dazzling to the driver in front. So sometimes considerate people in faster cars *and* in a hurry will just have to suffer in silence behind an inconsiderate driver going slow in the fast lane.

The driving behaviour you claim to practise and endorse in your post is inconsiderate. And dangerous too, because you're greatly increasing the chances of an accident by speeding up to prevent that poor car behind you from merging in front of you.

*You* would be one of my driving pet peeves, if I met you on the road.

 

[Gale]

Speeding is the #1 cause of accidents. I dislike fast, impatient drivers, especially of the teenage variety. Last year, two days in a row I passed flipped over cars on the highway. Both had a gaggle of teenagers standing next to them, trembling, waiting for the authorities.

hmmm... how about you hate the way those teens drive, instead of hating the teens themselves? I'm sometimes fast and impatient... but I'm fond of you zoob... i don't want you to hate me!

i used to hate fast drivers until i became one. now i really hate slow people. especially if they won't let me pass. its fine if someone else wants to take their time... pull over then and let me go by. (hmm, i also sort of have a death wish these days)

I also HATE road rage! i can't stand being in the car with people who get road rage easy. even when I'm really annoyed by a slow driver, i don't freak. someone can cut me off, and mostly i just get scared a sec, then move on. my mum is crazy though, and she scares me. She's one of those who'll yell out the window so you know she's pissed that you did whatever.

oh, and people who block intersections during traffic. i hate that. and people who don't stop for pedestrians. and people who don't smile and wave when i do something nice for them. oh, and in general, i hate all drivers from massachusettes, (mass-holes.)

 

[zoobyshoe]

hmmm... how about you hate the way those teens drive, instead of hating the teens themselves? I'm sometimes fast and impatient... but I'm fond of you zoob... i don't want you to hate me!

Course I don't hate teenagers.

 

[hypatia]

I don't like people who are so caught up in there cell phone conversation that they forget there driving. Oh and also people who see the lane is ending, yet wait till the last second to merge.

 

[Gale]

Course I don't hate teenagers.

you didn't finish your thought... you meant "course i don't hate teenagers... i love you gale!" there you go! i knew you loved me. you're like the zoobie i never had, but always wanted growing up. and erm... I'm the gale you always wanted? or something eh...

 

[zoobyshoe]

you didn't finish your thought... you meant "course i don't hate teenagers... i love you gale!"

Goes without saying, sweetie.

 

[brewnog]

I hate people who undertake, and the people who cause it by driving in the middle lane when the nearside lane is empty.

And I hate people who drive too close to the car in front on motorways, because as soon as someone slows down slightly, the person behind has to put their brakes on, and the person behind them puts their brakes on, and then there's a sea of red lights, and the whole carriageway grinds to a halt for no fegging reason at all.

And I hate being raped up the arse for my insurance premiums just because I'm stastistially a risk. They should make an advanced driver course specifically for young blokes which gives you the equivalent of 3 years no-claims or something, if you pass. Pass-Plus is a waste of time.

 

[FredGarvin]

For me it's the overall lack of attention drivers pay to the act of driving. For some reason, people have the notion that driving is something that can be done unconsciously, like breathing. People do not put forth any mental effort to be aware of what is going on with their vehicle and their surroundings. The act of driving is something that requires a lot more attention than people put forth.

If people would be more aware of the actual task of driving and not be so taken in with looking at the accident or construction on the side of the road or playing with the radio or smacking their kids in the back seat or eating food or talking on the phone or putting on make-up or reading the paper...

My other pet peeve is people that wait 10-15 seconds before moving after the light turns green, especially on a turn arrow.

 

[brewnog]

If people would be more aware of the actual task of driving and not be so taken in with looking at the accident or construction on the side of the road or playing with the radio or smacking their kids in the back seat or eating food or talking on the phone or putting on make-up or reading the paper...

I really wouldn't mind if these people were only a danger to themselves, - the non fatal accidents they cause would teach them a lesson, and the fatal ones would take them off my roads. But they're a danger to me, and that's just not cricket. I've been a careful driver ever since I was following my friend one night through the Peak District. I went round a bend to to see his car was shiny-side down on the wrong side of the road. It scared the cack out of me, and I've been cautious ever since. He still drives like a twat though.

 

[honestrosewater]

I don't drive- it's just too dangerous. It would be nice if there was a real alternative to using personal autos for daily transporation. I don't think bicycles are an alternative, but better public transportation systems certainly could be. So everyone in a big enough city, write your mayor and tell them to get on it! Oh, and write your congressmen and tell them to send money!

 

[mattmns]

Yeah I am with honestrosewater. Personally, I think the whole US car dependence is terrible. And maybe we will see some good changes in the next 10 years or so, unless some magic fuel comes out. The problem is, of course, that public transportation, no matter how good, is not the American way. Public transportation has no freedom, which all of us Americans need. At least with driving there is freedom, no matter how inefficient and terribly designed it is.

 

[honestrosewater]

Yeah I am with honestrosewater. Personally, I think the whole US car dependence is terrible. And maybe we will see some good changes in the next 10 years or so, unless some magic fuel comes out. The problem is, of course, that public transportation, no matter how good, is not the American way. Public transportation has no freedom, which all of us Americans need. At least with driving there is freedom, no matter how inefficient and terribly designed it is.

I lived in Boston/Cambridge for a while, and they have a great public transportation system. The subway or buses can take you within a 10 minute walk of just about anywhere you want to go, and they are frequent enough that you don't need to wait for long. As more and more people in a city use public transportation, the system can afford to become more and more versatile and convenient. I would also consider taxis public transportation.

 

[FredGarvin]

I really wouldn't mind if these people were only a danger to themselves, - the non fatal accidents they cause would teach them a lesson, and the fatal ones would take them off my roads.

But at the same time, those are the idiots you can thank for your jacked up insurance premiums!

his car was shiny-side down on the wrong side of the road.

Shiny-side down. I like that one.

 

[brewnog]

But at the same time, those are the idiots you can thank for your jacked up insurance premiums!

Nah, I thoroughly understand why 21 year old male drivers get high premiums (I was once quoted £5,500 for a 1.3 litre Fiesta). I just think it's wrong that I (after 4 years and 40,000 miles of accident-free experience, 2 years of which were in moderately powerful cars) would get charged exactly the same premium as a friend of the same age who has only just passed his test.

Shiny-side down. I like that one.

I don't. It's the scariest thing I've ever contended with; a car upside down with my mate trapped inside, on a blind bend on a remote 60mph road in the middle of the night. He was ok, dangling inside from his seatbelt worrying about his no-claims...

I don't know who came up with the term 'shiny side down', but there's a traffic safety partnership around the same area now called the "Shiny Side Up Partnership", trying to keep bikers (like AdrianBaker!) on their own two wheels.

 

[FredGarvin]

I was referring to the phrase only. Not the event itself.

In the states, every single person that has insurance with your company effects your premiums. The people in your local area effect it more, but everyone does. That's why I cringe when I hear people say that they file insurance claims for very minor things. Also, if enough people in your area get into accidents, then you automatically get put into a higher risk category just because of where you live in relation to those people. It completely sucks.

 

[Evo]

Also, if enough people in your area get into accidents, then you automatically get put into a higher risk category just because of where you live in relation to those people. It completely sucks.

This actually makes sense though, if you are surrounded by bad drivers, you would be more likely to get hit.

 

[Moonbear]

My other pet peeve is people that wait 10-15 seconds before moving after the light turns green, especially on a turn arrow.

Or worse, the ones who don't pull up to the stop line and so never trip the sensor to get the green arrow! Why on Earth do they need more than a car length between them and the stop line?!

Oh, or the ones who turn on their turn signal AS they are turning, not before hand.

I agree with hypatia on the ones who wait until the last minute to merge and then clog up traffic expecting someone to let them cut in (and someone always does let them in), even if there are miles of warnings to merge ahead.

Or the nitwits who don't accelerate when entering a highway on the merge lane, and then cut in front of you so you have to slow down (or else they slam on the brakes last minute so nobody behind them can get up to speed for the merge either).

Or the ones who drive 15 mph under the speed limit for no reason...always in the no-passing zone or left lane. Or worse, they move out into the passing lane and then pace the car they should be passing!

 

[Moonbear]

Yeah I am with honestrosewater. Personally, I think the whole US car dependence is terrible. And maybe we will see some good changes in the next 10 years or so, unless some magic fuel comes out. The problem is, of course, that public transportation, no matter how good, is not the American way. Public transportation has no freedom, which all of us Americans need. At least with driving there is freedom, no matter how inefficient and terribly designed it is.

I don't avoid public transport because of some odd sense of freedom (how is sitting in traffic for 30 min freedom?), I avoid it because it doesn't exist here to any useful degree. The bus stops aren't in safe locations, and then run too infrequently at night, and if I'm in the lab until 2 AM after the buses stop running, how do I get home?

 

[zoobyshoe]

I don't think bicycles are an alternative, but better public transportation systems certainly could be. So everyone in a big enough city, write your mayor and tell them to get on it! Oh, and write your congressmen and tell them to send money!

Public transportation is not a bad idea as an idea. Every city has its own unique problems, though. In Minneapolis things are OK in the Summer but in Winter riding the bus is unmitigated hell because waiting a mere ten minutes for a bus in sub-freezing cold every day becomes torture. Here in San Diego, where the whole place is cut up by canyons, there is never a direct route from point A to point B, and the bus that ends up where you want to go can meander three miles away before it curls back to your destination. A 15 minute drive by car can take an hour and a half by bus, not including wait time at the bus stop and the ten minute walk after you're dropped off. They've tried all kinds of improvements like more buses, better buses, adding a trolley, but they can't fight the geography.

In Minneapolis they have a "Skyway" system. You can walk all over the place in the downtown business district without ever going outside, via second story bridges from one building to the next. Outside downtown, though, you're a human popsicle.

 

[franznietzsche]

I don't like people who are so caught up in there cell phone conversation that they forget there driving. Oh and also people who see the lane is ending, yet wait till the last second to merge.

I've seen jackasses in BMWs, who knowing the lane they were in would, and were some 50 yards behind me, with plenty of room to just merge in behind me, would instead floor it to get ahead of me, leaving me with the option of either slowing down for their stupidity, or forcing them into the divider and a crash. Next time, I'm letting the ******* crash at 90 mph (i was driving 75 at the time).

 

[zoobyshoe]

The five major causes of accidents are, in order of frequency:

1) speeding

2) tailgating

3) driving under the influence

4) inattention

5) yeild violation (running red lights and stop signs)

 

[BicycleTree]

People riding bicycles in those expensive little outfits on single lane roads with no shoulders and so hilly/curvy that there is no passing allowed for 10 mile stretches and it's extremely dangerous to attempt going over into the oncoming lane due to the inability to see uncoming traffic.

My feeling is if I need to go around one of these suckers and I'm faced with an oncoming car, the bicycle guy is going to die. tsk I guess they should have picked a less dangerous route.

Then you would be guilty of murder. It's against the law to pass when there is not room; you must slow to the speed of the bicyclist and wait until there is a passing opportunity. If there's a double yellow line it's illegal to pass anyway, even if it's a bicycle, although people usually don't complain if you do.

 

[BicycleTree]

Bicycles on a highway are iffy--dangerous, though of course we do have the right to be there. In the city, they are incomparably better than cars, buses, or walking. What irritates me is when there is a huge traffic jam full of 1-occupant vehicles. Unless I'm on my bike and can slide past all of them while flipping the bird, I just have to shake my head at how stupid these people are.

 

[BicycleTree]

Imagine if all federal highways were declared off-limits to cars during commuting hours, and large quantities of buses were made available at low cost for commuters. Say goodbye to rush hour traffic jams.

 

[chroot]

While I don't consider it particularly dangerous, I find "passive merging" to be one of my pet peeves. You know the type -- a right-hand lane is ending, merging into the one on the left. Despite all the signs, arrows, dotted white lines, etc., the driver does not actively move from the ending lane. Instead, without signalling or apparently even acknowledging the traffic to be merged into, he/she just continues along, hugging the right-hand white line as it gradually pushes him/her into the next lane over. No one has any idea what the person is doing, and they end up having to think for him/her, slowing down to leave space, trying to anticipate when (if ever) the driver is actually going to make use of it. This is particularly annoying when the driver continues along side-by-side with another vehicle, neither slowing down nor speeding up nor signalling, nor making any indication whatsoever that he/she is even aware that he/she needs to find an opening.

My other pet peeve is the way people park in parking garages. We have five- or even ten-story parking garages around here. Everyone knows that there are more spots on the top floors than anywhere else. Everyone also knows that it's completely immaterial which floor you park on, because you'll be taking an elevator either way. So, why on the Earth do people stop traffic for five minutes while they wait for someone to vacate a spot on the first level? I say people should fill in parking garages from the top down, the same way people already know to fill in buses: starting from the back, moving forwards. There are ten billion spots available two floors up, but no one can get to them because some dope is holding up traffic for five minutes waiting for someone to pull out of a lower-level spot. After this happens a couple of times, and it ends up taking 15 minutes to get to a spot in a garage with ten billion empty spaces.

- Warren

 

[chroot]

Bicycles on a highway are iffy--dangerous, though of course we do have the right to be there. In the city, they are incomparably better than cars, buses, or walking. What irritates me is when there is a huge traffic jam full of 1-occupant vehicles. Unless I'm on my bike and can slide past all of them while flipping the bird, I just have to shake my head at how stupid these people are.

While I agree that bicycles are better than cars if you both live and work in the city, you seem to be missing the point that many people don't both live and work in the city. Many of the "stupid people" in the single-occupant cars are waiting to get on the freeway and leave the city to go to their houses in other places. They have a reason to be in a car, rather than on a bike. Deal with it.

- Warren

 

[gravenewworld]

people who drive under the speed limit
people who brake for no reason
damn tractor trailors in the left lane
people who try to box you in so you can not get over when lanes merge (it takes more than 100 cars to get in front of you to make you 5 minutes late).
PEOPLE ON THE CELL PHONE
people who don't use blinkers
old people
people who have those damn sound systems in their car blasting bass that can be heard 2 miles away
people who treat stop signs as yield signs when they try to get onto a major highway/road
idiots who turn right and don't yield to people who are turning left from the other lane when there is clearly a yield sign
idiots who speed up so you can't change into their lane
jackasses who try to cut in line and get off on an exit at teh very end so they can cut infront of everyone who was waiting
jackasses who don't turn left on red and wait for a green light when it is from a 1 way street onto another 1 way street.
jackasses with the xenon lights that make you go blind
jackasses who drive in two lanes and can't make up their mind whether to stay in their lane or change lanes.
jackasses who turn on their blinkers slow down 500000000 yards before their turning lane is even close
jackasses who try to get onto a highway from a store or something and pull out too much so the front of their car sticks out in your lane and youhave to go around them.
i think that's it for now

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Where we live, the biggest problem is the occasional tractor. I think I had to wait for one last year, for a few minutes. You do have to watch out for deer crossing the road.

I love rural living.

 

[chroot]

Imagine if all federal highways were declared off-limits to cars during commuting hours, and large quantities of buses were made available at low cost for commuters. Say goodbye to rush hour traffic jams.

If all the commuters were going from a single location to another single location, then your "solution" would make perfect sense. This kind of solution is better known as a "train."

The problem is that most people are traveling five miles in one direction to get on the freeway, then exiting another place and driving another ten miles. Are you proposing a bus that goes from each center of business to each residential area? Would you care to calculate how many buses that would require? Hint: it'd likely only be about 1/2 of the number of cars already on the road.

Of course, you can introduce switching stations and hubs and the like, but all that would do is double the amount of time it takes to go anywhere. Now, instead of waiting in traffic, people are just wasting even more time going out of their way to get to the hub, or waiting for the next bus out of the hub.

I appreciate all of your sentiments, BicycleTree -- people should use public transportation whenever possible, and many people would actually be better served by public trans than by private automobile. On the other hand, I think you have a very narrow-minded view of the transportation world -- you seem to think the bike and the bus will answer every problem. You have generalized the situation to the point where you think anyone driving a car alone in a city is "stupid," and you think simply scaling the bus system by a thousand times will make traffic go away. Neither of these assertions are true, or supported by any evidence. You seem to be stuck on page one, frankly.

The only way that I can imagine alleviating our traffic woes is this: put the houses within walking or biking range of the businesses. That's what European planners have done for centuries. Our fundamental problem in this country is that we put the most desirable houses five miles from the grocery store, six miles in the other direction from the cinema, eighteen miles from the industrial center, and fourteen miles from the university. No public transportation system is going to be a magic bullet that will make this problem go away. You cannot simply throw more buses at it.

- Warren

 

[BobG]

Then you would be guilty of murder. It's against the law to pass when there is not room; you must slow to the speed of the bicyclist and wait until there is a passing opportunity. If there's a double yellow line it's illegal to pass anyway, even if it's a bicycle, although people usually don't complain if you do.

I'm with Bicycle Tree on this one. The same traffic laws and same traffic rights apply, regardless of the vehicle - whether auto, semi, farm equipment, motorcycles, or bicycles. Of course, motorcycles and bicycles have a little more problem claiming their rights than a semi does. The sensible bicycle rider only claims his right to ride down the middle of the lane when it would be riskier to allow someone to try to pass them.

My pet peeve is people that talk on cell phones while driving. You usually only have to worry about drunk drivers at bar closing time. Cell phone users tend to aimlessly drift into your lane any time of day, change speeds constantly (slowly slow down - suddenly speed up - slowly slow down), don't notice the light has turned green, and seem to need both turn lanes to complete a left turn.

The hands free devices don't really help. It's the fact that people quit paying attention to the road when they're talking on the phone. You have the same problem when drivers fiddle with the stereo, light their cigarette, or other distraction, but those kinds of things are short distractions while phone conversations can last forever. Most (not all) drivers can wait to change the station or light their cigarette until they've completed a turn - cell phone users would never do something so rude as to interrupt an important phone conversation for something as trivial as avoiding an accident. Can you imagine someone on the other end of the line saying, "Just a sec, I need to make a turn here" and leaving you in silence for a whole 30 seconds?

They should make it illegal to use a cell phone while driving.

(For the record, I also hate barbers that take cell phone calls while in the middle of giving a hair cut. Get real!)

 

[chroot]

Can you imagine someone on the other end of the line saying, "Just a sec, I need to make a turn here" and leaving you in silence for a whole 30 seconds?

I actually do this. I try to avoid phone conversations while driving anyway, but sometimes they are, frankly, necessary. I often just toss the phone into the passenger seat when having to merge or make some other tricky move, usually without saying anything more than "hold on." My friends know I do it, and don't mind.

The reason phone calls are dangerous, while chatting with passenger is not, is that the person on the phone can't tell when you need to give your full attention to driving. Solution: tell them, and put the phone down.

- Warren

 

[zoobyshoe]

Tips for the Southern California Highway:

1) Never, ever drive in the fast lane. This is the "cop magnet" lane. They will scrutinize you. If you are pulled over from the fast lane they will ticket the maximum number of things they can find.

2) Always drive in the slow lane at about the same speed everyone else in that lane is driving. Cops will often ignore minor infractions. If you are pulled over from the slow lane you're more likely to get the minimum ticket they can think of.

3) Never ask a cop why he doesn't have some more serious crime to pursue.

4) Never do anything that might be construed as a subtle attempt at bribery; no flashing cash. They'll find more things to ticket.

5) Women: never appear to be coming on to the cop, i.e., don't pop another button on your blouse. They view this the same way they view a bribery attempt. They will find something else to ticket. (Wailing and crying might have a beneficial effect, but only if it seems completely sincere.)