How to get enough strength to leave a job where you feel important

[DrummingAtom]

A friend of mine has a job interview tomorrow with a prestigious company. She is almost guaranteed the job because she's good friends with one of the hiring managers. Her current job has no room to grow, pays below average and has no benefits but she has pretty much made the owner stress free since she started. The owner used to have health problems when she first started because he was so stressed out. Those started slowly going away after a couple months of her working there and the owner has even told her that it's because of her. The owner highly appreciates her and she genuinely feels special and important at this job. It's only her and the owner working together.

She feels terrible about leaving if this new job works out. I've worked a job like that before too and it really hurts when you have to say goodbye. Has anyone else been in this situation?

 

[Evo]

Has he been doing right by her as far as his company situation dictates? If so, it's hard to leave someone that has treated you right to take a better job. She needs to give him ample notice to replace her. This can be negotiated with her new employer. The last time I switched employers I had to demand 6 weeks at my old job to help them find someone and for me to transition my accounts. My new employer was happy to accommodate me. I'm sure they would like me to give them the same consideration should I choose to leave.

 

[lisab]

Wow, that's a tough one.

The closest thing I had to that was a job where the management was so clueless and their treatment of us was so shoddy, that the worker bees (me and my coworkers) formed a strong bond. I left that job, but felt I was abandoning my friends at that horrible place .

But your friend's situation is much worse, since there's only two of them. Are the skills required by the job very difficult to find?

 

[rootX]

If she is delivering profits to her company and getting properly compensated then it will be hard ... but there are also employers who wouldn't give out a penny instead resorting to emotional tactics.

 

[DrummingAtom]

Thanks for the responses.

To Evo,

She is treated as best as she can for the limits of just the two of them. But even with that said she is still underpaid (by average) and has no benefits. That extended time to replace is a good idea.

To lisab,

Yeah, this is a tough one. The owner's son has even come into tell her how much his dad has changed and how happy he is now that she works. The emotions have been pouring on since she started. The skills are easy to find, which is the only reason she feels somewhat ok about leaving.

She feels like the owner is fragile and doesn't want to leave him to become all stressed out again. The owner took her under his wing and trained her from day one because she was new to the field so they developed a tight bond from the beginning. This feels like It's a Wonderful Life and George is trying to decide between friends or money. Haha.

 

[DrummingAtom]

To rootX,

Well, the owner is trying everything he can to increase her salary. He has increased her pay twice within a year without her even asking. Seeing that they're still pretty small, he can't compete with larger companies pay or benefits.

 

[russ_watters]

A friend of mine has a job interview tomorrow with a prestigious company. She is almost guaranteed the job because she's good friends with one of the hiring managers. Her current job has no room to grow, pays below average and has no benefits but she has pretty much made the owner stress free since she started. The owner used to have health problems when she first started because he was so stressed out. Those started slowly going away after a couple months of her working there and the owner has even told her that it's because of her. The owner highly appreciates her and she genuinely feels special and important at this job. It's only her and the owner working together.

She feels terrible about leaving if this new job works out. I've worked a job like that before too and it really hurts when you have to say goodbye. Has anyone else been in this situation?

Loyalty is nice, but it isn't practical and if the boss is a reasonable person he'll understand that his worker's first responsibility is to herself. If he's unwilling or unable to provide her with the compensation and career path she needs and she finds it somewhere else, she absolutely should leave and he absolutely should not have any hard feelings.

However, she can choose to show her loyalty by helping to ease the transition if possible. She can give more than the typical 2 weeks notice as Evo said (if the new job doesn't need her immediately) and if he can find a replacement fast enough, help train that person. If not, she can write an SOP describing how she does her job to turn over to him (so he can do her job) or her replacement.

I also worked for a very small company where I felt needed and felt loyalty to the company, but due to the economy a few years ago, my boss was no longer able to pay me consistently. So I was looking for a job when fortunately a mutually beneficial opportunity presented itself where a company that needed more people essentially bought me (and several others) from him.

She feels like the owner is fragile and doesn't want to leave him to become all stressed out again. The owner took her under his wing and trained her from day one because she was new to the field so they developed a tight bond from the beginning. This feels like It's a Wonderful Life and George is trying to decide between friends or money.

I know it feels purely selfish, but it isn't if you look at it from the other direction: First of all, if the boss really cares about her, he won't want to hold her back. To do so would be selfish of him. Second, if she chooses to stay even though she knows it is bad for her, she will get increasingly more bitter as she falls further and further behind her career curve. Her performance will drop and it will hurt her and the company even more.

 

[physics girl phd]

... she is still underpaid (by average) and has no benefits. That extended time to replace is a good idea.

...The skills are easy to find, which is the only reason she feels somewhat ok about leaving.

I'd be afraid working even another moment at at a place where I didn't have somewhat reasonable benefits (or compensation to the point where I could invest in my own benefits)... that is unless she gets some benefits through a spouse's employment program. Why?

What if something happens to her? I've known someone who discovered he had cancer in the two months he had between jobs and was "screwed" because at that time he was not paying into an insurance program... and I was always afraid of the something happening to a roommate who didn't have heath benefits. Perhaps even transferred stress is taking its physical toll on her.

Or what if she wants to even just wants to advance in some "normal" major lifestyle change? She, and possibly a spouse, may want to start or even accidentally start a family... I say "possibly" because I know professional women who have had families on their own through personal pregnancy or adoptive measures... although they've had stable jobs that would provide family benefits to these children, even when the pay is low.

It sounds to me like your friend has outgrown her job and it's time to move on. Jobs with low pay, "skills that are easy to find" (by your own words) and no benefits are decidedly entry-level... not for building a life upon (unless you are personally wealthy or your spouse has a great pay and provides your benefits... and you're just working to "get out of the house" "have play money" etc.).

 

[russ_watters]

The OP did not say the girl doesn't have health insurance, just that she doesn't have benefits. At my first job, I didn't have benefits either, but I had my own health insurance (though not right away...).

 

[physics girl phd]

The OP did not say the girl doesn't have health insurance, just that she doesn't have benefits. At my first job, I didn't have benefits either, but I had my own health insurance (though not right away...).

note I include: "(or compensation to the point where I could invest in my own benefits)" and also include the possibility of such benefits through a spouse... but the OP does later state that pay is lower than at larger companies. I do know, however, that privately purchased heath care plans can be hugely expensive, and that hey generally have large co-pays and deductibles. (Not sure if the person in question is US, and if so, how the new health care plans would help, when/if they go into effect). The people I've known without benefits have generally gone without health insurance.

I would also hesitate (even with my forum name) to call any person with a full-time job a "girl". I do state I think she's probably "outgrown" her job.

In my opinion, working extra time (without health care) would be risky. That young guy I knew with cancer racked up quite a few medical bills for his new fiancee/ then new wife (who -- bless her commitment still signed on for better or worse formally despite the definite worse, because his cancer was an aggressive form) before he passed away, just because he was young, healthy, and resisted doing a COBRA form of insurance between two jobs with heath care. this is why my post concentrates on heath care.

Working a few extra weeks to train a replacement might be ok and show loyalty -- but I'd do it only IF I had heath care. Sorry, I'm not that altruistic, especially if I've perhaps been getting emotionally taken advantage of...

 

[turbo]

I'd move as soon as a better job with benefits and possibilities of advancement was offered to me.

10 years was the longest that I ever stayed with one employer, and that was because I got the opportunity to advance to a very demanding position with great pay. With overtime, I made more money/year than my foreman and more than the assistant superintendent. 10 years on hard concrete floors in oppressive heat was wearing me down, so I left to work as a programmer. Employers say that they value loyalty, but when push comes to shove, they have no loyalty to their employees.

One glaring exception was the fellow that owned the textile factory in Mass that burned years back. His plant made polar fleece, and rather than lose his employees to other mills, he continued to pay them until his plant was rebuilt and he could put them back to work. That mill-owner has REALLY loyal employees!

 

[Dembadon]

[...]

However, she can choose to show her loyalty by helping to ease the transition if possible. She can give more than the typical 2 weeks notice as Evo said (if the new job doesn't need her immediately) and if he can find a replacement fast enough, help train that person. If not, she can write an SOP describing how she does her job to turn over to him (so he can do her job) or her replacement.

[...]

This is, essentially, what I'm doing with my current employer. I've worked for this small company for six years and am extremely appreciative and impressed with their leadership. Their generosity and integrity has consistently blown me away, and it has earned my highest respects.

I gave them 6 months notice and agreed to help train the new employee. This will allow me to wrap-up current projects as well as make my training time with the new person as effective as it can be. Six months notice is long, but our situation is very unique and is a realistic compromise for both parties.