PeterDonis said:
I'll comment on this separately: there is no "frame of reference of A" that has the properties you are assuming (such as having a "space" that doesn't change with "time").
I'm not sure what you mean by the "properties I'm assuming". Do you agree that it makes sense to speak of the frame of reference of A, and that in the Schwarzschild metric, it can meaningfully assign a distance to particle B, even after the formation of a black hole?
PeterDonis said:
During the formation of the black hole, the particle at B falls into the particle at A; so the distance between them goes to zero for the humdrum reason that they fall together.
If you are thinking that particle B can somehow stay at the "boundary" while the black hole forms, that's impossible. Nothing can "hover" at the boundary (event horizon) of a black hole. The horizon is an outgoing lightlike surface: radially outgoing light just manages to stay at the same radial coordinate. No ordinary particle can move at the speed of light, so all ordinary particles fall into the singularity.
This is not what I had in mind. I am (naively) attempting to understand how the singularity deforms spacetime by considering a pair of particles falling into the singularity. In my mind it is conceivable that the immense curvature affects Schwarzschild distance in slightly unintuitive ways.
Again, in analogy with a non-black hole gravitational body (and perhaps this is the question I really should have asked): Let's say A and B are two particles on a line from the center of a massive object. A and B are initially at rest with respect to the center S of this object, and with a separation of d = d(A,B). Let's say that the initial distance r_0 = d(A,S). is large. Now, in the time interval [t_0,t_1), where t_1 is the time at which B comes into contact with the surface, how does the distance between A and B in the Schwarzschild metric evolve?
My motivation is from the perspective of special relativity:
In the frame of reference of S, there is at all times a slightly higher gravitational force applied to B than to A, and thus the acceleration of B is higher than the acceleration of A towards S. So d_t(A,B) gets bigger as t \to t_1. In the frame of reference from A however, the corresponding distance d'_{t}(A,B) is contracted inverse proportionally to the lorentz factor at each instant t. This distance d'_t(A,B) can either be equal, higher or lower than the distance d_t(A,B) measured by S at any time. I have been unable to compute this though. The result would depend on the the time t, the initial distance d between A and B, and the initial distance r_0 to S, and the mass M of S. The question becomes whether some configurations of d,r_0 and M can flip the sign of d_t(A,B)-d'_t(A,B) at some time t_0 < t < t_1.
EDIT: Of course, I don't expect that such computations are approximations to the GR solution. Intuitively I expect the Schwarzschild distance to remain constant, since both A and B are in free fall, and approximately at rest with each other at time t_0 for r_0 large.