My physics/love poem - feedback encouraged

  • Thread starter TheTechNoir
  • Start date
  • Tags
In summary, the conversation is about a sixteen bar verse that was quickly put together and the speaker is open to feedback on different aspects such as meter, rhyme scheme, and accuracy in relation to quantum mechanics and general relativity. The verse discusses the concept of Schroedinger's love and the unpredictability of relationships. The listeners enjoyed the piece and one even imagined it being delivered in a rap style.
  • #1

I just quickly threw this together in the last 15 minutes or so and I was curious what people think? I just put it together as a fun little thing. I am open to feedback on multiple levels:
If anyone has suggestions for change to meter, rhyme scheme/structure, wording, etc.
Or also if someone with knowledge of quantum mechanics & general relativity has any errors to nitpick I'd be glad to try and modify a bit to make it a more accurate metaphor; I myself don't have a physics background and only a very shallow understanding of it. Thanks!

It's a sixteen bar verse:
spontaniously birthed, a fleeting couple on borrowed energy, virtual pair
unless the heart is equally shared it's not even there
copenhagen affairs dependant on stares
the lack of it's acknowledgment or embracement
preventing it's inherent existence
Schroedinger's love, nothing about my heart is permanent
it may be alive, dead, a superposition: no determinance
god rolling dice when the heart wants to be in two places
stomach riding butterfly waves, probabilities determine the faces
indefinite predictive power for what's to come
whether we'll heat up and merge together like fusion inside the sun
when subjected to utter isolation void of any enticing relation
is there a macroscopic manifestation, is there decoherence?
if no one's there to speak to my heart, can it still hear it?
a heavy blackness lingers overhead, warping and curving my view
shall I continue ahead, never to return just to see you?
Last edited:
Physics news on
  • #2
I liked it. A rap music style of delivery came to my mind as I was reading it.
  • #3
I like it. Before I start reading poetry I always put a cringe face on just to prepare myself, it's a bad habit, but this didn't sustain it.

Related to My physics/love poem - feedback encouraged

1. What inspired you to write a physics/love poem?

I have always been fascinated by the beauty and complexity of both physics and love. I wanted to express my admiration for both subjects in a creative and unique way.

2. How did you incorporate physics into a love poem?

I used metaphors and imagery from the world of physics to describe the emotions and experiences of love. For example, I compared the force of attraction between two people to the force of gravity between two objects.

3. Did you face any challenges while writing this poem?

Yes, it was quite challenging to strike a balance between the scientific concepts and the emotional aspect of love. I wanted to make sure the poem was both accurate in its scientific references and heartfelt in its portrayal of love.

4. What do you hope readers will take away from your poem?

I hope readers will see the connection between physics and love and appreciate the beauty of both subjects in a new light. I also hope the poem will evoke emotions and resonate with readers on a personal level.

5. Will you be writing more poems that combine science and love?

Absolutely, I am constantly inspired by the wonders of science and the depths of love. I will continue to explore the intersection of these two subjects in my future writing.

Similar threads

  • STEM Career Guidance
  • General Discussion