The never-ending physics story

[Borg]

Haven't seen one of these before. I'll provide the beginning of a story and replies should continue the story as best as possible. Feel free to use generative AI and let's see how humorous people can get.

In the depths of the university's physics department, a group of students discovered a dusty chalkboard equation that, when solved, opened a tiny wormhole right in their lab. Out popped a note saying, "Please stop solving our unsolvable problems. Sincerely, the Universe." The students exchanged bewildered glances, wondering what would happen if they tried another calculation.

 

[Baluncore]

But they knew in their hearts, that could not happen without a successful application for funding.

 

[pines-demon]

So Emmy, the smartest of them all, copy-edited her last application funding on some topological-quantum-computing-machine-learning-dark-matter research she was trying to get through, and added wormhole-chalkboard to the already convoluted title of her grant application. Meanwhile...

 

[Klystron]

With funding under prepraration and Emmy otherise occupied, notice turns to physics lab structure.

Long unnoticed, hidden among the bundles of old technology in the false hollow ceiling, a smidgen of unknown origins pulsates to the somniferrous vibration of the wormhole. Just below, worried students gather about the supercomputer terminal searching for answers.

Suddenly an overwhelming sound rings out...

 

[berkeman]

Sorry to be a buzz kill, but there has been a report from the grammar police (not me this time). Wait one...

 

[jedishrfu]

... moment and now back to our regularly scheduled program.

 

[Baluncore]

Suddenly an overwhelming sound rings out...

Damn, it's that fire alarm again, and now we must evacuate the building, just when it was getting interesting. What came up on the supercomputer terminal display as they evacuated the building, we will never know.

 

[Klystron]

"Wait", screams Lemmy, Emmy's classmate and uterine twin.
"I downloaded the supercomputer results file to my phone."

"The cause is .... Huh? Where is all this water coming from? Glug, glug."

 

[Borg]

As the mysterious liquid surged around their ankles, Lemmy's eyes widened. "Wait a minute," he murmured, dipping his fingers into the cold substance. It wasn't water—it was denser, almost ethereal. "This isn't water at all. It's behaving like... dark matter made tangible!" The room began to warp subtly, shadows elongating and lights flickering as the dark matter interacted with their reality in unpredictable ways.

Just then, Emmy burst back into the lab, clutching an approval letter. "Great news! We got the funding—"