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What Makes A Place Home For You?

  1. Dec 19, 2013 #1

    lisab

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    What Makes A Place "Home" For You?

    I just got back from a very short road trip - two days in San Francisco, two days in Mendocino County. Very nice visit, for sure! San Francisco is an intense city, and Mendocino County is a place where most roads are not much more than donkey trails.

    But now I'm home, and it's so nice to be home. I've lived here about 1-1/2 years and it definitely feels like home now, but it took a while. I've never felt immediately at home in a new place, ever. Some places I've lived have never felt like home even after many years, and I'm not sure why.

    I know most PFers are young, and when you're young you think of "home" as where your parents live. But you will soon have to create your *own* home.

    Does it just take time for a place to become home? Is there something about the environment? Certainly people are an important element.

    What makes a place a home for you?
     
  2. jcsd
  3. Dec 19, 2013 #2

    Pythagorean

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    close family (wife and kids).
     
  4. Dec 19, 2013 #3

    turbo

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    I need my wife and my two dogs. It's nice that I can call my elderly father and possibly get up there to see him, if needed. Nothing else really matters.
     
  5. Dec 19, 2013 #4

    dlgoff

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    Yes. e.g.

    http://imageshack.us/a/img205/8115/img7218co.jpg [Broken]
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 6, 2017
  6. Dec 19, 2013 #5
    I realized a while back that it seems to kick in in the situation you just described. A new place starts to feel like "home" when you leave it for a while and come back. It's not "home" until it becomes the place you return to.
     
  7. Dec 19, 2013 #6

    adjacent

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    I've been living away from my home for more than 2 years now.but I don't feel like I've been living at a home.To me,there are no 'many' homes.Just one home.Now I am here,at home.It truly is a home where I have lived at my infancy,childhood, etc.It is the place where my friends live.
    Home remains home.For me,home is for eternity.
     
  8. Dec 19, 2013 #7

    WannabeNewton

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    Home is where I can walk around in my boxers without being judged.
     
  9. Dec 19, 2013 #8

    phion

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    Where ever the rent is paid!
     
  10. Dec 19, 2013 #9

    jedishrfu

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    A Tom Cruise moment.
     
  11. Dec 19, 2013 #10

    Student100

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    Anywhere with grass and lots of trees, both are difficult to find in cities.

    When I lived in Japan I missed grass a lot. :(
     
  12. Dec 19, 2013 #11

    jedishrfu

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    Home is where I'm happy to be.

    I live in Texas but still visit my hometown in New York but it doesn't feel the same so much has changed.
     
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2013
  13. Dec 19, 2013 #12
    Where I can lay on my bed without having a roommate come in at any given moment
     
  14. Dec 19, 2013 #13

    Student100

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    Last edited by a moderator: May 6, 2017
  15. Dec 20, 2013 #14

    Borek

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    In my experience it takes years.

    Somehow the question reminded me of what have happened on one of the very first nights after we moved where we live now. Our bed was in the corner of the room in both paces, but in the previous place door to the rest of the house was to the left of our legs, while in the new place door was to the right of our heads. One day, around dawn, I was woken up by our cat, meowing, hissing and crying as if preparing to fight. My first thought was that some other cat got into the house, so I jumped out of the bed and... hit the wall, as I ran in the wrong direction.

    (I wonder if my tenses are not behaving the same way).
     
  16. Dec 20, 2013 #15

    Evo

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    Funny, whenever I dream about being "home", it's always my parents house where I grew up.

    I do have a favorite house, it was an incredible custom built home back in Texas, the builder was an incredible man, even though it was 30 years ago, I still miss that house.

    Right now I'm in an apartment, so I don't think of it as "home", I haven't even bothered hanging pictures and a lot of my stuff I never unpacked after my last move, people are a bit startled when they come over for the first time because it looks like I'm in the process of moving. I don't have room for any of my furniture from my house here, so I had to give up all of my beautiful furniture when I moved here, and got some small pieces, but it just doesn't feel right. When Evo Child moved in with me a few years ago and we took the large 2 bedroom next door, she decorated the place and it was beautiful and functional, but it was almost all her stuff because she didn't want her stuff placed into storage, so mine went into storage instead. Le sigh.
     
  17. Dec 20, 2013 #16

    lisab

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    When I lived in an apartment after my divorce, it never felt like home. It was a nice, old, huge place with an incredible view and I always felt comfortable there, but it always felt transitory.

    Time is a big factor, but I think I have to be surrounded by unfinished projects to really feel at home!
     
  18. Dec 20, 2013 #17

    HayleySarg

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    It's a few different things for me.

    -Ambience which comes from certain possessions and lighting that I generally have. I guess my home has a "tone" or a "theme" if you will

    -Smell. As weird as this one comes off, I'm someone who often studies by candle light or my Christmas lights (I've strung them all along the top of the walls in each room, LED, fire safety! I digress) and I know that smell. Everyone's house has their own smell to it. We also have a lot of natural incense, and of course essential oils. So it's very distinct.

    -The people. It's going to be very hard to adjust to moving to university without my boyfriend of 4 years now. We've made the choice that he'll stay in his job, 3 hours away, and I'll move down to college. It's just nice having another human. We're both introverts who pretend to be extroverts so to speak, so we both need a lot of "alone" time. Thankfully he leaves me be, and I leave him be, and we get together to do stuff when we're both feeling up to it. Without this sort of dynamic, it's going to be very different.

    -Kitty! She greets me when I get home.
     
  19. Dec 20, 2013 #18
    it's where ever my dog is, currently she's my #1 daily companion.

    1. companionship
    2. comfortable furniture (bed/chair/dog bed ect)
    3. smell/ambiance (probably just a time thing)
     
  20. Dec 20, 2013 #19
    I travel frequently to other countries/continents - I feel at home all the time.
     
  21. Dec 20, 2013 #20
    For me, home is where wearing boxers is dressing up.
     
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