When you join an army, you swear an oath of loyalty, this is a sacred oath and is taken with the upmost severity.
When called upon, you go to battle and you do what you are trained to do - perhaps it is be a medic, be an armourer or perhaps it is as you bluntly hint - to kill.
If you are there to kill - you do so as this is your job - you signed up for it. Many of the men I served who's job it was to kill did not feel overjoyed at the thought of killing somebody - however, they did not feel deeply saddened as they knew what their purpose was - and if they had not killed - they themselves would have died. Personally, when I opened fire on an opposing force I did so knowing that people far above me in the COC had ordered it and therefore it must be necassary.
Now, this is in the British Army, and without sounding pompous, the Brits have never been gun-ho, throughout training, at Sandhurst, and elsewhere the ROE are explained and emphasised thoroughly to prevent such attitudes forming. In hand with this the soldier is taught not to become too absorbed in the emotion of killing and the sadness this can bring - and to some extent this is not needed in the middle of the firefight. For when you are stuck with fire from all sides you do not have time to think anyone's mortality except your own. 'If you think you're dead'.
However, after battle is the time most soldiers become saddened, they have to live with the fact they killed somebody, and that somewhere their is a son or daughter with no father, and a wife with no husband. Most men can rationalise this as it they new from day 1 this was what they would have to do - others cannot do the same and are forced (either by concionce or by superiors) to leave front line duty or the force. However, the latter is becoming rarer as the enemies states face now tend to be oppresive regimes, or terrorists, and so there is not as much of a guilt over killing. This may sound awful but I remember a quote from a TV show at some point which was :
"Why is a Kundonise life worth less than an American one?"
to which the reply came "I don't know it just is" . I think the message of this is not that the life of a foreigner is worth less than that of a national but rather than that of a non westernised national is worth less than someone of your own country. Again this is awful but true in the minds of most people if they think about it.
I was stationed in a lot of places, and some of them were very remote (cannot go into details) and sometimes the moral was awful- however for some reason you knew that if wherever you were was remote - you were safe and so that was a joy somebody - for example in Iraq at the moment -would not have. Added to this, increased commmunications around the world mean it is hard to ever be truly alone! Now, I know that many people have felt suicidal in outposts that are remote - bu tI have never felt that way - perhaps because I'm always happy!
RE: Serving my country. I feel immense pride that I serve my country and that I have protected her interests throughout the world - however, in my service i have seen many other peoples who give so much more than me that I feel privilidged also to have served with them.
And as for the film stars - am I sad? No. They have all sorts of different pressures on them - and also they have a job to do - to entertain so my philosophy is let them do it! And I feel that people do care for our sacrifices, people frequently go to the war cemetaries in Normandy and in Arlington - so I think it daft to think that people do not care - I think it is more a case of people not thinking about us! And perhaps wanting to avoid the taboo around death.
If you have any more questions do not hesitate to ask.
-NewScientist