Why is the Universe So Complex and What Should I Do About My Existential Crisis?

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Lately i have been wondering why the universe is so complex. I cannot comprehend how something that is said to be arbitrary can be so uniformly perfect,from perspective, I hate that I have no free will or i assume I do not, nor can I comprehend the meaning of anything.I think I am having an existential crisis but I am only 15 what should i do?. I think i want to comprehend the vast greatness of the universe but is that theoretically possible?
 
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