Yahoo Chat: What to Do When a Close Friend Doesn't Reply

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Discussion Overview

The discussion revolves around the social dynamics and emotional responses when a close friend does not reply to a private message (PM) on Yahoo Chat, particularly when the sender believes the recipient is online. Participants explore various reasons for the lack of response, including technical issues, personal circumstances, and the implications for their friendship.

Discussion Character

  • Debate/contested
  • Exploratory
  • Conceptual clarification

Main Points Raised

  • Some participants suggest that a lack of response could indicate that the person does not care, while others propose that there could be many reasons for the silence, such as being busy or forgetting to log out.
  • One participant mentions the possibility of the message being accidentally deleted or the recipient waiting to respond until they can provide an adequate reply.
  • Several participants express that they would follow up with another message or call if they were concerned about the lack of response.
  • Some contributors reflect on their own habits of ignoring messages during important conversations or when they are not at their computer.
  • There are concerns raised about the emotional implications of being ignored, with some participants speculating that the friend may have chosen to cut off contact.
  • One participant notes that the meaning of "friend" has changed over time, possibly affecting expectations in online communication.
  • Another participant emphasizes the importance of not overanalyzing the situation and suggests direct communication as a solution.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

Participants do not reach a consensus on the reasons behind the lack of response or the appropriate course of action. Multiple competing views remain regarding the implications of being ignored and the best way to address the situation.

Contextual Notes

Some participants acknowledge that their interpretations are influenced by personal experiences and assumptions about friendship dynamics in the context of online communication.

What would you do if 1 of your close friend ignore you while s/he's been online?

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Lisa!
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I guess you're familar with yahoo chat! So I feel free to ask this question: If you PM 1 of your close friend after a long time, but s/he wouldn't reply to your PM while you're sure s/he's been online. What would you think?
Note that you hadn't any argument with that person the last time you talked to each other nad you've just been apart for some months.
 
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I've had that happen with email conversations, not PM's---there could be a lot of reasons, but if it happens a few times, I tend to think that that person doesn't care.
 
It could have been accidently deleted. They could be waiting until they feel they can give an adequate response before they respond. They could have gotten busy and forgot.

I'd say wait a bit then send another message. If they still don't respond, then maybe something is up.

I have very dear friends that I will intend to respond to and it may be weeks or even months before I reply. I still think of them every day, but I have become absolutely horrible at responding.
 
Lisa! said:
I guess you're familar with yahoo chat! So I feel free to ask this question: If you PM 1 of your close friend after a long time, but s/he wouldn't reply to your PM while you're sure s/he's been online. What would you think?
Note that you hadn't any argument with that person the last time you talked to each other nad you've just been apart for some months.
I voted - "It depends on the person". If it's a close friend, then I'd contact with a brief followup to ask if things were OK.

Usually if someone doesn't respond, I'm left wondering if I have said or done something to make the person upset.

Sometimes, I've gotten overwhelmed with matters that I just don't get around to reponding to someone, even a friend. :frown:
 
He/ she could have forgotten to log out, and probably was not present when you sent him/her the message assuming him/her to be online.
 
Hey, I want to talk to Astronuc via live chat! :biggrin:
 
Pick up the phone and call. If you can't do that because you don't have the number then perhaps wonder if it's worth to bother in the first place.

If the answer is to that yes, 'sure I bother', then select an apropriate e-card that you think is the most appropriate (be audacious) with an opening notification and see if you get that notification.
 
I would think that the the contact was no longer sexy, you seem to emit this ambiance may be talking to trees is your thing.
 
I would just assume they were engaged in another conversation when you saw them online, and didn't want to interrupt that conversation to start another. It's sort of like ignoring call waiting when someone sends a message when you're already engaged in a conversation with someone else.
 
  • #10
this has got me thinking--not directly about the poll, but in general--

I wonder if places like 'myspace' using the word 'friend' and 'friends' has desensitized the word. 'Friend' had a different meaning when I was growing up. ---and that phone calls to touch base with someone has set aside somewhat with all the texting, emails, etc.
 
  • #11
I wouldn't read too much into this. Besides what Moonbear said, it could also be that she actually wan't near her computer at the time. They tend to log you on automatically when you turn on the computer. Maybe she turned it on, then forgot to turn it off and went to class.

So there is no need to do any calculation here - if you want to call her, call her. I know it's easy to try to read into any action/inaction from people who may or may not really be your friends (I'm apt to overanalyze things like that as well), but you have to resist it.
 
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  • #12
russ_watters said:
I wouldn't read too much into this. Besides what Moonbear said, it could also be that she actually wan't near her computer at the time. They tend to log you on automatically when you turn on the computer. Maybe she turned it on, then forgot to turn it off and went to class.
My daughter does that. When she used my PC (formerly the family PC), my daughter used to leave her apps (IE, IM/AIM, . . .) open when she left the PC. I had to log into her account and close out conversations that had not progressed from the previous day. Leaving IM's open consumes resources. Now that she has her own PC, she continues to do that, but that's her problem, not mine.
 
  • #13
I walked away from the PC being logged onto the PF for hours--and whole days sometimes
 
  • #14
I would ignore you for good Lisa!. I have already tried, buy you don't seem to go away. Dont you take a hint?
 
  • #15
Astronuc said:
My daughter does that. When she used my PC (formerly the family PC), my daughter used to leave her apps (IE, IM/AIM, . . .) open when she left the PC. I had to log into her account and close out conversations that had not progressed from the previous day. Leaving IM's open consumes resources. Now that she has her own PC, she continues to do that, but that's her problem, not mine.

I'm the total opposite. I set all those programs so they don't automatically log in (that drives me nuts that it's the default setting), and if I am on, I usually still set it to show me as offline...the people I want to converse with know when to "meet" me. I don't like random strangers butting in because they see I'm online.
 
  • #16
I would call them on the phone, and say "Whats Up?, I tried to message you, but didnt get a reply".
 
  • #17
Moonbear said:
I would just assume they were engaged in another conversation when you saw them online, and didn't want to interrupt that conversation to start another. It's sort of like ignoring call waiting when someone sends a message when you're already engaged in a conversation with someone else.

Good way of putting it.

That's what I would think or something along those lines.
 
  • #18
I use instant messaging a lot. I regularly ignore people when I'm in an important conversation or when I'm not at the computer.
 
  • #19
Well, I should have explained a bit more since now it seems that I'm making a mountain out of a molehill! You know it's not the 1st time that such a thing happens to me. And you know I've never put much of thought on that in the similar cases because I simply take it as a technical problem. And if I needed to talk to that person for some reasons I'd call them later on, send them an email or sms without even asking why my PM wasn't responded by them.But this case is different! I think he might have not responded to my PM due to:

1. a technical problem: I mean he might have not received my PM which is very improbable.

2. making the decision to forget me forever: In this case he's deleted my name from his list and has ignored me. That means he doesn't want to see me online since it drives him crazy when he sees me online and I don't PM him as he mentioned subtly once:rolleyes:

I guess I'd better not to call him because I'm afraid that the 2nd possibility might be right.:frown:
 
  • #20
I voted: It depends on the person

If it is a person that I have not seen for a long time (like they moved or something), I would call them if I had their number, or I would spam them to make sure ot a response (they always know that I spam only in good will).

If its a person that I talk to all the time, I'll just call them.

If its someone that I recently met, I will do nothing.

If its someone that I met a long time ago, but only know well enough to remember their name, I will spam them.
 
  • #21
Lisa! said:
2. making the decision to forget me forever: In this case he's deleted my name from his list and has ignored me. That means he doesn't want to see me online since it drives him crazy when he sees me online and I don't PM him as he mentioned subtly once:rolleyes:

I guess I'd better not to call him because I'm afraid that the 2nd possibility might be right.:frown:

well, that may be be best way to find out whether you could be wasting your time even thinking about him.
 
  • #22
Lisa! said:
2. making the decision to forget me forever: In this case he's deleted my name from his list and has ignored me. That means he doesn't want to see me online since it drives him crazy when he sees me online and I don't PM him as he mentioned subtly once:rolleyes:

I guess I'd better not to call him because I'm afraid that the 2nd possibility might be right.:frown:
:frown: Sorry to hear that Lisa. His loss.

Why can't people be straightforward and say not to contact them rather than just leaving a person hanging? I've never understood that, I think it's very rude.
 
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  • #23
Well I'm not thinking about it anymore!:wink:

Math Jeans said:
If its someone that I met a long time ago, but only know well enough to remember their name, I will spam them.
:smile:

I can't ignore people anymore since my ignore list is full of spammers!:devil:
 
  • #24
Astronuc said:
My daughter does that. When she used my PC (formerly the family PC), my daughter used to leave her apps (IE, IM/AIM, . . .) open when she left the PC. I had to log into her account and close out conversations that had not progressed from the previous day. Leaving IM's open consumes resources. Now that she has her own PC, she continues to do that, but that's her problem, not mine.

I have 2 pc's at home and sometimes people forgot to shutdown, try the program called autoshutdown, when there's no computer activity the PC shutdown by itself.
 

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