Zombie epidemiologist models bieber fever

[fourier jr]

This is the same mathematician who did that paper on the zombie apocalypse a couple years ago:

Abstract. Recently, an outbreak of Bieber Fever has blossomed into a full pandemic, primarily among our youth. This disease is highly infectious between individuals and is also subject to external media pressure, further strengthening the infection. Symptoms include time-wasting, excessive purchasing of useless merchandise and uncontrollable crying and/or screaming. We develop a mathematical model to describe the spread of Bieber Fever, whereby individuals can be susceptible, Bieber-infected or bored of Bieber. We analyse the model in both the presence and the absence of media, and show that it has a basic reproductive ratio of 24, making it perhaps the most infectious disease of our time. In the absence of media, Bieber Fever can still propagate. However, when media effects are included, Bieber Fever can reach extraordinary heights. Even an outbreak of Bieber Fever that would otherwise burn out (driven by fans becoming bored within two weeks) can still be sustained if media events are staggered. Negative media can rein in oversaturation, but continuous negative media (the Lindsay Lohan effect) is the only way to end Bieber Fever. It follows that tabloid journalism may be our last, best hope against this fast-moving and highly infectious disease. Otherwise, our nation’s children may be in a great deal of trouble.

Our results show that, in any population of young people exposed to Justin Bieber, there will be an outbreak of Bieber Fever, even if no one is initially infected. This makes the disease very dangerous and any population extremely susceptible. The only methods to help control the spread of infection are to publish more negative media stories about him than positive, such as involving him in a sex scandal or exploit his bad haircut choices and increasing the number of times those negative stories appear in the media. These measures may seem extreme, but they will need to be weighed against the possibility of our youth driving the general public mad with their obsession with Justin Bieber.

pdf here
http://mysite.science.uottawa.ca/rsmith43/bieber.htm

 

[Evo]

LOL, why do certain people become celebrities? WHY?

 

[lisab]

I bet the authors have teen/pre-teen daughters. Maybe this work is a coping mechanism?

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

It's no joke. I was in the mall and just passed by some pre-teen girls. Too late, I realized that this infection fever had taken hold of me. Now I only want to hear Justin Beiber songs. I am no longer interested in the old classics like the Monkees, the Jackson 5, and the Archies. Don't let this happen to you. Stick bubble-gum in your ears.

 

[Mentalist]

Are you a teenaged girl, Jimmy? From what I heard it was only contagious amongst girls.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

Are you a teenaged girl, Jimmy? From what I heard it was only contagious amongst girls.

It's possible. I've had so many sex change operations I can't remember what I started out as. And I'm many times over a teenager.

 

[Borg]

TLC scourges such as the HBB contagion have higher KMN death rates.