Why Do Female Students Listen to Male Students' Questions Without Interacting?

[rewebster]

Evo--

This is off the thread, but... Why do I see "0" posts for theoritician?

maybe when he asks her out for coffee (or tea), he'll get "1".

 

[Evo]

Evo--

This is off the thread, but... Why do I see "0" posts for theoritician?

Posts in General Discussion don't count.

 

[theoritician]

Did she wave back? If she didn't wave back, the "blush" could be annoyance.

I thought it was decided about 150 posts ago that you should stop obsessing over this girl?

Not only did she wave back but also smiling.

I did thought it was all over but she continued doing what I wrote in post 1 even when no one was asking any questions.

 

[Evo]

Not only did she wave back but also smiling.

I did thought it was all over but she continued doing what I wrote in post 1 even when no one was asking any questions.

Ah, we'll that's different!

 

[EnumaElish]

She waved back?! Smiling?! And you interpret this as "it was all over"?!

I'll tell you when it will be all over: it will be over if you mess it up. "Yessir," real fast, too.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Not only did she wave back but also smiling.

I did thought it was all over but she continued doing what I wrote in post 1 even when no one was asking any questions.

I'm going to guess that what got her attention in the first place is not the questions you ask the professor but the way you listen to the answers. This is all she knows of you: how you act in class. What could you possibly be demonstrating in that setting that might interest her? I am betting she likes the way you attend to the professor and wishes for someone who would attend to her the same way.

She obviously likes you, but only as much as she knows you. She doesn't know yet if you will attend to her with the same sensitivity you listen to the professor. You have to introduce yourself and demonstrate that you will. Say to her "We're obviously taking the same class. I'm ------ -------."And give your full name, first and last. Then shake her hand in a friendly way, as you would meeting any classmate. She will tell you her name. Then you can ask some light, chatty questions, about how she's finding the class, about her major, about the weather, it doesn't matter in particular. The information she is most interested in finding out at this point is whether or not you are a sensitive listener with people as you are with academic matters. Whatever questions you happen to ask, the important thing is for her to know that you're actually listening to the answers.

If she is shy, then the thing she wants most is someone to open up to. So, your goal at this point is to show her you are paying attention even to whatever light, mundane things she may say in response. You want to be the opposite of the guys who talk girl ears off with tales of their accomplishments, and don't let the girls get a word in edgewise. Introverts are most concerned with figuring out how they, themselves, feel about various things, and are given to introspection to do that. Having figured that out, they are next concerned with having someone to share that with, someone who'll listen to their take on things, and, at least, understand it, if not agree with it. I suggest you pursue this tack with her: assume that she likes something about the way you listen and see what happens when you lavish those listening skills directly on her.

 

[theoritician]

I really hope that's your sense of humor coming through.

Why do you think I can't be serious with this statement?

 

[theoritician]

maybe when he asks her out for coffee (or tea), he'll get "1".

You've hit the nail on the head. Spending my time here hasn't got me anywhere with her although I have learned many things in this thread.

 

[theoritician]

She waved back?! Smiling?! And you interpret this as "it was all over"?!

I'll tell you when it will be all over: it will be over if you mess it up. "Yessir," real fast, too.

No, that's not it. My initial conversation with her didn't go too well that's all. I was too much of a pessimist and it's all good now.

 

[qspeechc]

I'm going to guess that what got her attention in the first place is not the questions you ask the professor but the way you listen to the answers. This is all she knows of you: how you act in class. What could you possibly be demonstrating in that setting that might interest her? I am betting she likes the way you attend to the professor and wishes for someone who would attend to her the same way.

That doesn't explain how she would come to start listening to his questions, which would require her first staying to hear the question, and then only waiting to see how he listens, which does not at all explain why she stayed to hear him ask the question.

 

[JasonRox]

No, that's not it. My initial conversation with her didn't go too well that's all. I was too much of a pessimist and it's all good now.

Yeah, but you might be pessimistic about the next step.

Anyways, keep up what you're doing. At first I thought she was just a weird girl or something, but the fact that she smiled back is good.

I guess asking her out is the next or have a little conversation. She might be very shy so she might not respond well, so you'll have to lead for a bit. Be sure to ask open questions too, so she starts talking.

 

[zoobyshoe]

That doesn't explain how she would come to start listening to his questions, which would require her first staying to hear the question, and then only waiting to see how he listens, which does not at all explain why she stayed to hear him ask the question.

If you want to assess the kind of listener someone is, listen to the questions they pose after hearing what you say. The questions they ask tell you volumes about the sort of thing they are paying attention to.

 

[JasonRox]

If you want to assess the kind of listener someone is, listen to the questions they pose after hearing what you say. The questions they ask tell you volumes about the sort of thing they are paying attention to.

I totally agree. People who are great listeners are people you can have great conversations with.

 

[Cyrus]

Man this threads almost 2 months old. Did you get a date with her yet? If not, Ihope your not still interested in her, because she ant thinkin about you no more.

 

[qspeechc]

Woman say they'd like men to listen to them, but is that really the case? I think not. What they want is a Schwartzenneger body, Brad Pitt face and a side-splitting sense of humour. Or money. How much you have of those is directly proportional to your sex appeal to the ladies. I know people will rile at me for this, but deep down it strikes a chord as true, no? It makes sense.

 

[Cyrus]

hahaha you have no clue about women. ahahahahahhhaa

I am no brad pitt, I don't have a Schwartzenneger body, and I don't have money. When I go out I can get any group of girls to open up and start talking. Yikes, you need to go out more. I got a date from a girl last saturday just by tapping her shoulder playfully at a bar, its THAT easy when you have kahoonas.

 

[Evo]

This reminds me of an old joke I saw yesterday. I hope this isn't too risque.

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety.

The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's BMW back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper.

He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!

A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer.

The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.

The moral of the story:

If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.

 

[Cyrus]

Nice one.

 

[cristo]

I am no brad pitt, I don't have a Schwartzenneger body, and I don't have money. When I go out I can get any group of girls to open up and start talking.

Well that's because, contrary to what appears to be the majority view on this forum, girls are sociable creatures, and so like talking to other people! All it takes it to be friendly and engaging.

Haha, that's pretty good, Evo!

 

[Cyrus]

Man, do you know how many times I've been to a bar with girls all around me, meanwhile Mr. Meathead is standing with his guy friends sippin their beer alone lookin "cool". I see LOTS and LOTS of guys standing around at the bar with balls the size of peas. Hell, Ill hit on a girl as she walks by holding her boyfriends hand. The guy won't say anything about it either, which is actually a good thing because it shows his confidence to her.

 

[rewebster]

yeah, that is funny---but, I wish the chicken would have been referred to as 'she', though

 

[zoobyshoe]

Woman say they'd like men to listen to them, but is that really the case? I think not. What they want is a Schwartzenneger body, Brad Pitt face and a side-splitting sense of humour. Or money. How much you have of those is directly proportional to your sex appeal to the ladies. I know people will rile at me for this, but deep down it strikes a chord as true, no? It makes sense.

Physical appearance and money are quite far down on the list. Humor is high up, yes. Good listening skills are important. Easy-going confidence is extremely important, and will work even for short skinny guys. If you telegraph nervousness, anxiety, self doubt, anger, desperation or any negative emotions you won't get anywhere. In other words, if you approach girls thinking "You won't like me because I'm not muscular, handsome, or rich," they'll sense the negative vibes and steer clear of you. If you pay attention in social situations you'll see all kinds of non-hunks getting girls along with the big, handsome, rich guys. Short guys, skinny guys, fat guys, stupid guys, ugly guys, getting girls. The reason is: they're confident.

 

[Cyrus]

Physical appearance and money are quite far down on the list. Humor is high up, yes. Good listening skills are important. Easy-going confidence is extremely important, and will work even for short skinny guys. If you telegraph nervousness, anxiety, self doubt, anger, desperation or any negative emotions you won't get anywhere. In other words, if you approach girls thinking "You won't like me because I'm not muscular, handsome, or rich," they'll sense the negative vibes and steer clear of you. If you pay attention in social situations you'll see all kinds of non-hunks getting girls along with the big, handsome, rich guys. Short guys, skinny guys, fat guys, stupid guys, ugly guys, getting girls. The reason is: they're confident.

Yes sir. Nothing reeks worse than desperation. I know one girl who comes off as desperate. Every time she starts talking to me I find an excuse to leave the room. I am thinking to myself, go get some friends or something...

 

[qspeechc]

OK cyrusabdollahi, no need to brag, sheesh!

 

[Cyrus]

How often do you go out to bars/clubs?

 

[zoobyshoe]

The moral of the story:

If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.

Real life story: there are two guys who hang out at the Cafe I frequent who are, apparently, actually hung like horses. They both have ended up in the porn industry.

Moral of the story:

If you're hung like a horse you don't have to pick up chicks at all. They're provided for you and you're paid to have sex with them.

 

[jtbell]

you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.

But it's easier to flaunt a BMW without getting arrested!

 

[rewebster]

But it's easier to flaunt a BMW without getting arrested!

yep---it's another in classification subset of women: the 'I like the easy ride in life' group
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not opposite of the one mentioned above--just another
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and, yes, for those women out there, I've been told, at least, that women DO put men into classifications, too (he's a: pig, a horse, a beamer, a BS'er, etc.)

 

[Cyrus]

Last time I checked, the bar/club/starbucks does not have an indoor drive through. So its going to be pretty hard to flaunt your car, aka lack of personality, to get any womans attention. I guess you could talk with your keychain in your hand and waive your arms around so they see the BMW key. Hey look at me, I am a chump with money! I need your attention because I am pathetic <insert hand motions>


Id say women put you into these classifications. (1) Hes interesting, I'll talk to him. (2) Hes a needy loser, let's leave RIGHT NOW while he's still talking because I am already falling asleep.

 

[Evo]

At the bar I used to go to in Chicago, one of the guys used to park his Lamborghini in front of the door. Of course they let him.

 

[Cyrus]

Well, techincally that's NOT a car. Thats artwork.

 

[rewebster]

Nice, beautiful things (and women) seem to always be compared to 'Art' by men--"She's a work of ART"-----I wonder if that all goes back to the endorphins?
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I've seen a lot of 'chumps' with money buy women drinks all night long

 

[Cyrus]

I've seen a lot of 'chumps' with money buy women drinks all night long

You got the 'chump' part right. She should be buying him a drink. Too bad his money is his personality. Chumps probably too nice a term. Id call him a damn fool.

 

[rewebster]

(sometimes it does work, though)

 

[Cyrus]

Yeah, if your pathetic. Please let me buy you some drinks so you will like me. Once she's done drinking, she will find someone interesting to talk to because u ant interesting. Definition: CHUMP

Id let a bozo like that buy her drinks and then snatch her away since she now has a free drink and obviously isn't interested in him- and id do it right infront of his face too. I actually started dancing with a girl once while her boyfriend was standing there watching us dance 1 foot away like a dope. His face was like awwwwwwww. Mabye if he grew balls hed be dancing with her and not me. But I am not there to make friends with guys, so I could care less about his feelings. I am there to have fun with girls girls girls.

 

[SticksandStones]

Yeah, if your pathetic. Please let me buy you some drinks so you will like me. Once she's done drinking, she will find someone interesting to talk to because u ant interesting. Definition: CHUMP

Id let a bozo like that buy her drinks and then snatch her away since she now has a free drink and obviously isn't interested in him- and id do it right infront of his face too.

I like Feynman's approach to it: don't buy them a drink until they agree to have sex with you. :)

 

[Cyrus]

Pst, he'd just impressed them with his bongos.

Work ittttttt, worrrrrrrk itttttt!

 

[rewebster]

I guess you don't take them out for dinner either, then?

 

[Cyrus]

Correction. I don't pay for their dinner, like a chump would.

 

[morphism]

Correction. I don't pay for their dinner, like a chump would.

Chump? So, say, if you pay for your girlfriend's dinner you're a chump?

I just read the rest of your "advice" and the tales of your glorious feats. Man, you got to love internet studs.

 

[cristo]

Chump?

So, say, if you pay for your girlfriend's dinner you're a chump?

No.. that's different. I'm sure cyrus is talking about dating-- a guy who buys everything for a girl he hardly knows is asking to be taken advantage of!

 

[Evo]

No.. that's different. I'm sure cyrus is talking about dating-- a guy who buys everything for a girl he hardly knows is asking to be taken advantage of!

I agree, a woman should insist on paying her fair share.

 

[rewebster]

I agree, a woman should insist on paying her fair share.

Some women are like that; some other women think otherwise

It sounds like cyrus is just being honest that he doesn't buy women drinks or dinners.

 

[Evo]

Some women are like that; some other women think otherwise

I'd consider women that think otherwise as leeches. Trust me on this, having known MANY women, the one's that insist the man always pay realize that the men are suckers and that's the reason they go out with them.

As one girlfriend I got rid of said "I can love any man if they have enough money".

 

[rewebster]

I'd consider women that think otherwise as leeches. Trust me on this, having known MANY women, the one's that insist the man always pay realize that the men are suckers and that's the reason they go out with them.

As one girlfriend I got rid of said "I can love any man if they have enough money".

I agree that there are some women who appear to have no morals (some men are just out for one night stands only), but me 'asking' a woman out for 'dinner' , to me, means I pay---if the situation progresses, I tend to look at each situation (date) differently as they are initiated and the next one may be different.

"men are suckers" ---said by women with something to bargain with

 

[Evo]

I agree that there are some women who appear to have no morals (some men are just out for one night stands only), but me 'asking' a woman out for 'dinner' , to me, means I pay---if the situation progresses, I tend to look at each situation (date) differently as they are initiated and the next one may be different.

"men are suckers"

If the man asks for the first date, he pays, if the woman asks for the first date, she pays. After one or two dates with a man, I then insist on paying at least every other time, I work, why not. For many years I made much more than the men I dated and it really did not feel right to have them pay.

 

[rewebster]

Then you're a very honorable and above average woman with a morality that's rare in this world

-----------------

(most are married, or single again and know what makes it real)

--------------------------

and maybe its just maturity and avoiding the 'metasex'

 

[Evo]

No,all of the PF Sisterhood feel the same.

 

[rewebster]

No,all of the PF Sisterhood feel the same.

"feel the same" about what?---which thing are you referring to?

 

[Evo]

"feel the same" about what?---which thing are you referring to?

About paying their fair share.