Why Do Female Students Listen to Male Students' Questions Without Interacting?

[zoobyshoe]

Ok zooby, that's a bit much. And personal tastes differ.

I don't mind if you're partial to hound dog noses.

 

[rewebster]

What's "metasex"?

Quantity, not quality---approaching hedonism (not the homonym-heathenism)---one night stands (girls, girls, girls)---going for just the feeling of it, rather than any emotional ties

You can ask zenmaster to verify this if I ever lure him back here again. He definitely does NOT get to pay for all the dates. We take turns. Since we live in two different cities, it's been kind of working out that whichever of us pays for the travel expenses, the other pays for the meals, and we split the other costs of doing stuff together. It would be pretty crappy to expect him to pay for everything. Even on our first "date," we each paid part of it (though he got through on a loophole that he was technically traveling for business when I met up with him, so I let him pay for more since he got to expense it anyway).

is he your 'main squeeze'?

I agree completely. If a guy wants to pay for everything, every time, it seems like he wants to "buy me" like a prostitute, or he's treating me as an inferior, like a father treats a daughter. Neither inspires me romantically.

The women that 'like' being bought drinks and 'everything' probably don't come to a 'physics' forum---a lot of girls like to be 'taken care of' and see that as part of it.

I never bought a girl a drink in my life. I never even offered.

A girl most show me she's worth it before I'd even consider it.

then you may see yourself as having other talents or attributes to 'attract' girls



I think most people go through a 'trial and error' period of meeting the opposite sex, I had my fair share of 'metasex' when I was in that thinking.



Looking back is a whole lot easier than looking at yourself---

theoritician will probably do that and say to himself, "that wasn't so bad,--I don't know why I had so much trouble with it."

 

[Cyrus]

Don't get me wrong, she is appealing and desireable. But her look just dosen't make me have goosebumps or make me immediately shut my eyes and dream...

I can't describe what she looks like. Nor could I describe anyone else.

Take Zoobs advice and learn how to describe people. Also, no girl should make you shut your eyes and dream. Thats a bit much...*please* don't say anything like that around her, or any other woman. Just go out and practice talking to people. Anyone, everyone. Go to McDonalds and talk to every person standing in line. Talk to people in line at the movie theater. Talk to people in your class. Talk talk talk. Don't try to get dates from people, just learn how to hold a conversation. I am willing to bet you're not comfortable doing that, so asking her out is trying to go from 0-60 with no wheels. You need to get used to being around people that don't do physics all day long.

 

[rewebster]

Also, no girl should make you shut your eyes and dream.

(different strokes for different folks, I guess)


I do

 

[Cyrus]

Thats not normal behavior. I don't know a single guy that does that. Its either "Shes looks good", or "I'll pass".

You don't want dreams to be the only thing you have between you and her.

 

[rewebster]

Thats not normal behavior. I don't know a single guy that does that. Its either "Shes looks good", or "I'll pass".

You don't want dreams to be the only thing you have between you and her.

one of my 'talents' is x-ray vision when I close my eyes--on that first look

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I don't know a single guy that doesn't

 

[Cyrus]

I don't follow you. I don't close my eyes when I look at a girl, ever. I look at her face, or her chest/ass, and then back up at her face.

What you just described is - creepy.

 

[rewebster]

I don't follow you. I don't close my eyes when I look at a girl, ever. I look at her face, or her chest/ass, and then back up at her face.

What you just described is - creepy.

no--human nature---women are even better at it than men----I've seen some women glance up for 1/10th of a second to 'check out' "body shape" as one of their first prerequisites for being interested in a guy or not from far away---from before any of what you mentioned is visible (on the guy)----you may be near-sighted---that's maybe why you have to be so close

 

[Moonbear]

Also, no girl should make you shut your eyes and dream. Thats a bit much...*please* don't say anything like that around her, or any other woman.

That just means you haven't met one who truly knocks your socks off yet. It does happen. But, the rest of it is right...don't say something like that to anyone. And, you don't *have* to feel that way to ask someone out and be attracted. For many people, the rest of that comes after you've gotten to know them better so that there's much more to the attraction than just a pretty face.

Just go out and practice talking to people. Anyone, everyone. Go to McDonalds and talk to every person standing in line. Talk to people in line at the movie theater. Talk to people in your class. Talk talk talk. Don't try to get dates from people, just learn how to hold a conversation. I am willing to bet you're not comfortable doing that, so asking her out is trying to go from 0-60 with no wheels. You need to get used to being around people that don't do physics all day long.

This is really good advice. Just talk to random strangers and get practice getting comfortable with it. At first, it'll be awkward, and they may look at you strangely and walk away, but if it's just a stranger you'll never see again anyway, there's no harm in that happening. And each time you talk to someone else, you'll have the previous experiences to learn from and gain understanding of what types of things you can say that will engage conversation, and what will annoy people. That way, when you finally talk to someone with whom the outcome matters to you, you'll know what things to say that won't scare them off. And, in the meantime, you might accidentally make some new friends. Also, as important as studying is, get your nose out of the physics books once in a while and spend time learning about more things around you so you can talk to people on a variety of topics. Flip through the news and see what's going on in politics, local events, the latest entertainment scandals/gossip, which sports team is playing or what the scores were of the most recent game. Go see some movies so you can talk about those.

 

[Cyrus]

Thats what I said, checking someone out. You said you *close* your eyes. THAT is creepy.

 

[Moonbear]

I don't follow you. I don't close my eyes when I look at a girl, ever. I look at her face, or her chest/ass, and then back up at her face.

What you just described is - creepy.

I don't think he meant literally close his eyes when looking at her. But, you know, when you walk away, you still are thinking about her and imagining much more than what you already saw. Or, you might find yourself kind of staring into space fantasizing a bit, or mentally undressing her. I don't recommend doing it often with everyone you meet, but at some point, everyone sees someone of the opposite sex (or same sex if that is their inclination) who they just think is so "hot" that they can't help but think of them in a very physical sense. It may turn out that they are not at all your type mentally/intellectually, and it goes nowhere beyond eye candy, but every so often, it happens.

But, yeah, still, it's not something to expect every time you see someone pretty or good looking, and not feeling that way doesn't mean you should pass on them, as long as you aren't completely repelled by their appearance.

 

[Cyrus]

You never know, some people do some weird stuff...I've seen a guy at a bar standing in the *middle* of the dance floor, dead center, drinking his beer staring at people by himself. Thats why I take what he said literally.

I honestly don't do what you described. I check her out, say something. When I turn around, I am literally checking out the next girl I see and trying to talk to her or something. I've come to realize there are too many girls to do things like think about just anyone of them I met.


When I go out I want to meet as many people as possible. So I go from person to person to person talking. I don't stop. Once I am done talking to someone there already out of my mind.

 

[Moonbear]

You never know, some people do some weird stuff...I've seen a guy at a bar standing in the *middle* of the dance floor, dead center, drinking his beer staring at people by himself.

I guess. Hey, it could be worse, he could be latching onto random women and dancing with them even when they keep moving away from him. I've had that happen too. He was probably just too drunk to know what he was doing.

 

[Cyrus]

Eughh. The dance floor is the WORST place to talk to women. Talk to them at the bar when there with their friends. (1) You don't know her, so your just some guy walking up for a random dance. (2) All her friends are not going to dance alone while you dance with just one of them. (3) After about 10 mins she will stop dancing with you because she does not know you. Its just a bad place to try and meet a girl.

Drinking is bad too. Id avoid it. Girls are turned off by a drunk fool. And girls don't like being offered drinks because it looks like your trying to get them drunk or trying too hard. Hey baby can I buy you a drink complements of my new BMW.

 

[rewebster]

I don't think he meant literally close his eyes when looking at her. But, you know, when you walk away, you still are thinking about her and imagining much more than what you already saw.

you got it---he didn't

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you two can type fast--I looked at the timestamps--typing isn't one of my talents---by the time I get something 'written', the 'mood' has changed and most has to be 'removed'--oh well

 

[Evo]

If I see a cute guy, unless I talk to him and he is mentally stimulating, I don't give him a second thought.

 

[Moonbear]

Eughh. The dance floor is the WORST place to talk to women. Talk to them at the bar when there with their friends. (1) You don't know her, so your just some guy walking up for a random dance. (2) All her friends are not going to dance alone while you dance with just one of them. (3) After about 10 mins she will stop dancing with you because she does not know you. Its just a bad place to try and meet a girl.

Yep. But if she's not out dancing, asking her to join you for a dance can work out well...as long as you know how to dance. When guys just randomly start dancing with you and they haven't even ASKED if you want to dance, it's desperate and sleezy. The WORST are those who think they're going to do the bump and grind type moves on the dance floor when you don't even know their name yet...EEEEEWWW! Though, I have to tell you, if you rescue one from a creep like that by cutting in and as soon as you've freed her from the creep, introduce yourself and suggest talking at the bar, it's one of those cases where chivalry really can work (because when someone creepy latches on like that, all I'm doing is looking around the dance floor desperately for someone decent to save me).

Drinking is bad too. Id avoid it. Girls are turned off by a drunk fool. And girls don't like being offered drinks because it looks like your trying to get them drunk or trying too hard. Hey baby can I buy you a drink complements of my new BMW.

Yeah, if you're getting sloshed, nobody is going to be interested in you and your liquid courage. As for offering drinks, it's actually worse now...women need to worry that a guy offering a drink might be trying to slip something into the drink, so are going to be immediately suspicious of anyone offering a drink. If you've both been talking for a while and are hitting it off, offering to buy the next round is acceptable, but only if things are going well, not as a way to introduce yourself...and she ought to reciprocate. It's a way of saying, "I like you enough to stick around and keep talking for another drink."

 

[Cyrus]

I agree 100%.

 

[Art]

If I see a cute guy, unless I talk to him and he is mentally stimulating, I don't give him a second thought.

What's wrong with deep meaningful one night stands?

 

[rewebster]

I agree 100%.

maybe I could be reading things wrong

Yep. But if she's not out dancing, asking her to join you for a dance can work out well...as long as you know how to dance. When guys just randomly start dancing with you and they haven't even ASKED if you want to dance, it's desperate and sleezy. The WORST are those who think they're going to do the bump and grind type moves on the dance floor when you don't even know their name yet...EEEEEWWW! Though, I have to tell you, if you rescue one from a creep like that by cutting in and as soon as you've freed her from the creep, introduce yourself and suggest talking at the bar, it's one of those cases where chivalry really can work (because when someone creepy latches on like that, all I'm doing is looking around the dance floor desperately for someone decent to save me).


Yeah, if you're getting sloshed, nobody is going to be interested in you and your liquid courage. As for offering drinks, it's actually worse now...women need to worry that a guy offering a drink might be trying to slip something into the drink, so are going to be immediately suspicious of anyone offering a drink. If you've both been talking for a while and are hitting it off, offering to buy the next round is acceptable, but only if things are going well, not as a way to introduce yourself...and she ought to reciprocate. It's a way of saying, "I like you enough to stick around and keep talking for another drink."

Yeah, if your pathetic. Please let me buy you some drinks so you will like me. Once she's done drinking, she will find someone interesting to talk to because u ant interesting. Definition: CHUMP

Id let a bozo like that buy her drinks and then snatch her away since she now has a free drink and obviously isn't interested in him- and id do it right infront of his face too. I actually started dancing with a girl once while her boyfriend was standing there watching us dance 1 foot away like a dope. His face was like awwwwwwww. Mabye if he grew balls hed be dancing with her and not me. But I am not there to make friends with guys, so I could care less about his feelings. I am there to have fun with girls girls girls.

 

[rewebster]

I did the 'bad boy' act for a while--some woman loved it, and could usually end up with one if I wanted. The problem was that they wanted to be 'entertained' by the 'bad boy' act all the time that I was around them---and I really didn't want to be around that type very long.

 

[Evo]

What's wrong with deep meaningful one night stands?

That would mean we spoke and he was mentally stimulating.

 

[EnumaElish]

I have talked to her and it was all good many posts back. No awkardness although it took a month before I did that. Now I am ready for the next step which will not be too awkard provided she stays interested.

Are you doubting your ability to keep her interested?

 

[Cyrus]

maybe I could be reading things wrong

To be clear, she was standing there with her boyfriend. She grabbed my arm and started dancing all up on me. His pathetic face looked hurt. This is speculation, but he probably bought her drinks earlier . Talk about one big chump. I just looked him in the face and gave him a shrug, like sorry. I don't care.

 

[Cyrus]

I did the 'bad boy' act for a while--some woman loved it, and could usually end up with one if I wanted. The problem was that they wanted to be 'entertained' by the 'bad boy' act all the time that I was around them---and I really didn't want to be around that type very long.

No one said anything about a 'bad boy act' though. All I said was one should have a personality and not be a pathetic needy loser.

To the OP, I have to ask. Do you know how to dress yourself? What kind of clothes do you wear? How does it fit your body, and what is your body type? These things make a huge difference. You don't want to be that guy wearing some geeky physics shirt with maxwells equations written on them. Yes, I've seen physics majors actually wearing shirts like that. Its that white t-shirt, long hair in a pony tail, kaki shorts, and sandals. Classic nerd. Everyone is adults, and should know how to dress themselves. Anything less makes you appear as a chump not just to women, but people in general.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Quantity, not quality---approaching hedonism (not the homonym-heathenism)---one night stands (girls, girls, girls)---going for just the feeling of it, rather than any emotional ties.

According to the guy who coined the term, metasex is any sexual activity engaged in for any purpose other than to make babies:

Sex is, as the traditionalists have it, a vehicle for making babies, and nothing else. Sex, qua sex, is for the propagation of the species, and for no other reason. I hold this definition to be correct. However, there is a vast realm of erotic behavior which falls outside this stricture, and for that I have designated the term metasex.

http://www.sexmagick.com/aisha/writers/metasex.htm

So, even one quality relationship is metasex if you're having sex for any reason outside procreation.

 

[Moonbear]

To be clear, she was standing there with her boyfriend. She grabbed my arm and started dancing all up on me. His pathetic face looked hurt. This is speculation, but he probably bought her drinks earlier . Talk about one big chump. I just looked him in the face and gave him a shrug, like sorry. I don't care.

How do you know he was her boyfriend and not just some other creep she was trying to get away from? That, or she must have been MAJORLY pissed off at him for something to have done that...maybe he had been caught flirting with other women and she was getting even. How do you know you weren't the one being used as the chump there?

 

[Cyrus]

Because I had my hand all over her ass when I was dancing with her, and he was standing off to the side watching. Either way, it worked out well for me.

I was not the chump because I had nothing to lose by dancing with her. Its not like I went up to her in desparation. I think her BF just didnt like to dance. She wasnt mad, she had a big smile of her face. I don't really care what her BF did to her, or did not do. Thats not my problem.

 

[rewebster]

According to the guy who coined the term, metasex is any sexual activity engaged in for any purpose other than to make babies:



http://www.sexmagick.com/aisha/writers/metasex.htm

So, even one quality relationship is metasex if you're having sex for any reason outside procreation.

my use of the term was in the plural form

 

[rewebster]

Because I had my hand all over her ass when I was dancing with her, and he was standing off to the side watching. Either way, it worked out well for me.

I was not the chump because I had nothing to lose by dancing with her. Its not like I went up to her in desparation. I think her BF just didnt like to dance. She wasnt mad, she had a big smile of her face. I don't really care what her BF did to her, or did not do. Thats not my problem.

You say that a lot