Affidavit: Mom on Facebook when child drowned

[Evo]

One count of "child abuse"? It's negligent homicide, at the least!

A Colorado woman told authorities she was using Facebook in another room when her infant son drowned in a bathtub, according to an arrest affidavit.

"The Defendant admitted that she was on Facebook playing a game called Cafe World, checking on friends' status and sharing videos, in the living room, while [the infant] was in the bathtub," according to the affidavit.

http://www.cnn.com/2011/CRIME/01/18/colorado.mother.charged/index.html?iref=obinsite

 

[Ivan92]

Wow! What a ridiculous and a careless mother... Definetly child abuse for being negligent toward the infant. A person should not even leave an infant alone in the tub to begin with.

 

[drizzle]

She's not the mother of that infant... Or she's not a mother.

 

[NeoDevin]

There are http://www.inquisitr.com/88682/alexandra-tobias-farmville/" happening.

A young Florida woman has pled guilty to second-degree murder for the shaken baby syndrome death of her three-month-old son Dylan Lee Edmondson. 22-year-old Alexandra Tobias is said to have grown frustrated when the child would not stop interrupting her game of Farmville with his cries:
Tobias told investigators that she shook the baby, smoked a cigarette to compose herself and then shook him again. She said the baby may have hit his head during the shaking.

 

[joelupchurch]

Once when I was a baby, My mother was giving me a bath, when the phone rang. She was talking on the phone when there was a knock at the front door. When she answered the door there was a lady at the door with me under her coat. I had climbed out the bath and run outdoors. My mother said the lady was a bit frosty when she asked if I was her son. Having your children run around the neighborhood naked was frowned upon.

Pausing in the middle of giving an infant a bath to go on Facebook seems a bit bizarre, if true.

If it is true, then the woman is a fool, but if we put every fool in prison, then there would be no room for criminals. The appropriate punishment would be to sterilize her and never allow her to adopt or have a position where she was responsible for children.

 

[Evo]

Once when I was a baby, My mother was giving me a bath, when the phone rang. She was talking on the phone when there was a knock at the front door. When she answered the door there was a lady at the door with me under her coat. I had climbed out the bath and run outdoors. My mother said the lady was a bit frosty when she asked if I was her son. Having your children run around the neighborhood naked was frowned upon.

Pausing in the middle of giving an infant a bath to go on Facebook seems a bit bizarre, if true.

If it is true, then the woman is a fool, but if we put every fool in prison, then there would be no room for criminals. The appropriate punishment would be to sterilize her and never allow her to adopt or have a position where she was responsible for children.

This baby wasn't old enough to stand up, or walk. Big Difference.

 

[GeorginaS]

The Facebook component of this is pure sensationalism. Point is, a mother left her child unattended in the bathtub, and that cost the child their life. I'd have a difficult time believing that the mother isn't beside herself with remorse and grief.

Sometimes we take things for granted and don't pay as close attention as we ought to. We get distracted and sometimes the consequences are horrific. My heart goes out to everyone involved in this.

 

[Evo]

The Facebook component of this is pure sensationalism. Point is, a mother left her child unattended in the bathtub, and that cost the child their life. I'd have a difficult time believing that the mother isn't beside herself with remorse and grief.

Sometimes we take things for granted and don't pay as close attention as we ought to. We get distracted and sometimes the consequences are horrific. My heart goes out to everyone involved in this.

I never left my children unattended, not for a second. If I had to leave the bathroom if they were in the tub, I'd scoop them out first. When I went to the gas station, I never left them in the car, no matter how bad the weather, if I had to leave the car, I got them out of their carseats and carried them in with me. It was an enormous pain in the butt, and made stopping for gas back then a major endeavor (you had to go inside to pay back then). But that's part of being a responsible adult.

So I have absolutely no sympathy for this creature that killed her child. There is NO excuse for this. None. Period.

We're not talking about putting a pot of potatoes on the stove to boil and getting distracted for a few minutes.

This creature claims a 13 month old wanted to be alone? That baby couldn't even speak at that age. That moron didn't want to deal with her baby, hopefully a long jail sentence will give her the time alone she wanted.

To even think for a minute that someone I would leave a baby that age in the care of that would even consider for a second that it was OKAY to leave them unattended horrifies me. Not to mention, I'm sure it's illegal for a day care to do so.

 

[mugaliens]

I never left my children unattended, not for a second. If I had to leave the bathroom if they were in the tub, I'd scoop them out first. When I went to the gas station, I never left them in the car, no matter how bad the weather, if I had to leave the car, I got them out of their carseats and carried them in with me. It was an enormous pain in the butt, and made stopping for gas back then a major endeavor (you had to go inside to pay back then). But that's part of being a responsible adult.

Yep. Same, when my son was young. But what about when he, at 10 years old, wakes up at 6 am and I'm sleeping in until 8 am?

There are age limits, though, Evo, and my ability to fend for myself began somewhere around 6 years old. Potty trained at half that age, I could fetch food and water, so when I woke around 6 am I simply parked myself in front of the cartoon version of Iron Man (what a classic!) and watched it until Mom or Dad woke up. By age 8 I was making dinner, by age 11 balancing a checkbook, and by fifth grade pretty much self-sufficient. Doesn't mean Mom didn't cook for us, as she did just about every day.

I still needed hugs and interaction, though, and I still doo! I don't think that ever changes.

When I was in the 7th grade, Dad was severely injured in an accident, we we simply took care of him. Mom was here in Colorado caring for her sick Mom (cancer), and when we called she was incredulous that we were getting by just fine, dinner, homework, and all.

So I have absolutely no sympathy for this creature that killed her child.

Her child was only 13 mos old, Evo.

There is NO excuse for this.

No, there's not. Far too young. Even at 10, my son sometimes exhibits irrational decisions, so as a caring parent, I intervene.

Even at 23 I've made less than stellar decisions, though, so parenting doesn't exactly stop at eighteen. Sometimes it requires us to parent ourselves throughout our lives.

And, by means of caring about others, them too. "No man is an island." I'd love it if we'd all somehow magically arrived, but if that were the case, we'd have so many less problems in our world!

We're not there, yet.

 

[physics girl phd]

You have to make rational decisions about children, independence and safety... but leaving one in a bathtub at just over a year of age is not one of them. I view the bathroom as one of the most dangerous rooms in the house, especially if there is water in the tub. Even if you see those non-slip stickers, a child this age (where standing and walking are new) could slip and hit his/her head.. there are all kinds of dangerous hard fixtures like the faucet and in our case, a ceramic soap dish (which might be attractive to use to help "pull up") and bathtubs themselves are particularly hard surfaces with little/no give in the case of a fall. Little E is just over a year and a half... and I don't foresee her independently bathing for some time yet.

I often let little E explore the downstairs house by herself often during the day, but I know that if she isn't making identifiable noises (playing with toys, chasing the cats, pushing a laundry basket around, trying to put on her dad's dirty socks from the laundry, etc.) that I'd better check up on her. Often at those times, she's just sitting near a heat register reading a book independently (she's like that). Sometimes, however, she's gotten into the spice cabinet and eaten the brown sugar, or emptied the cayenne pepper (thank goodness I got to her before she got that in her eyes... and then I had to move all the spices)... and she most recently got ahold of her brother's deodorant off his desk and was starting to accidentally break it apart on the couch (as she was taking the lid on and off). These independent experiences are ok, but I wouldn't trust my hearing alone regarding the bathtub...or outside (even though we have a nice fence so she can play independently within sight while I sweep the porch, etc.). That's just wrong with any pre-school age child, no matter how smart and independent you might want to think he/she is...

 

[arildno]

To choose silly nonsense like Facebook rather than being with your children is negligent in itself.
What this woman is guilty of is criminal negligence.

 

[Evo]

I am reminded of Ibsen's play "Little Eyolf".

The perpetual gloom in Eyolf's home is caused by the perennial guilt his parents feel because when they had an "amorous embrace", Eyolf's baby brother (or sister?) rolled off the "cleaning table"(??) and hit its head in the ground and died.

(I'm not sure what a "cleaning table" is called in English, it is the table on which you place a baby in order to clean it and switch diapers).

Changing tables, they come with straps to hold the baby to help prevent such accidents, but it's another place you don't leave a baby alone. They can wiggle free.

 

[arildno]

Changing tables, they come with straps to hold the baby to help prevent such accidents, but it's another place you don't leave a baby alone. They can wiggle free.

The reason why I deleted the post was that it was Little Eyolf himself that fell off the table during the fateful amorous embrace, and became paralyzed in his leg.

Parental negligence has been an eternal concern, but we should not therefore make light of it in any circumstances.

The woman might get into a perpetual depression like Eyolf's parents; but we still need to make our societal disapproval of her negligence explicit in terms of punitive reaction.

 

[NeoDevin]

When I went to the gas station, I never left them in the car, no matter how bad the weather, if I had to leave the car, I got them out of their carseats and carried them in with me.

I am curious as to the logic behind such actions. Have you actually weighed the risks of leaving an infant in the car for a short time vs. waking a tired infant up and taking them out in bad weather?

It seems to me that neither is risk free, and it's non-obvious which would be the greater risk.

 

[Loren Booda]

I never left my children unattended, not for a second. If I had to leave the bathroom if they were in the tub, I'd scoop them out first. When I went to the gas station, I never left them in the car, no matter how bad the weather, if I had to leave the car, I got them out of their carseats and carried them in with me. It was an enormous pain in the butt, and made stopping for gas back then a major endeavor (you had to go inside to pay back then). But that's part of being a responsible adult.

So I have absolutely no sympathy for this creature that killed her child. There is NO excuse for this. None. Period.

We're not talking about putting a pot of potatoes on the stove to boil and getting distracted for a few minutes.

This creature claims a 13 month old wanted to be alone? That baby couldn't even speak at that age. That moron didn't want to deal with her baby, hopefully a long jail sentence will give her the time alone she wanted.

To even think for a minute that someone I would leave a baby that age in the care of that would even consider for a second that it was OKAY to leave them unattended horrifies me. Not to mention, I'm sure it's illegal for a day care to do so.

Face it, Evo. Not many people nowadays are as responsible at parenting (and grandparenting?) as you were and are.

 

[russ_watters]

IMO, there is a big difference between leaving your kid unattended somewhere they might get a boo-boo and somwhere they might be dead when you come back 2 minutes later. One's slightly irresponsible - and everyone does it - and the other is murder.

 

[NeoDevin]

Face it, Evo. Not many people nowadays are as responsible at parenting (and grandparenting?) as you were and are.

This is precisely the way of thinking that I was taking issue with before half this thread was deleted for being off topic. While I agree that the instance in the OP, leaving a child unattended in the tub before they are able to hold their own head out of the water, is clearly severe negligence, I strongly disagree that it is somehow irresponsible not to keep your child in your line of sight at all times.

 

[Mathnomalous]

Wife and I keep almost constant watch over our 3-month old son but sometimes it is necessary to leave him unattended for very short periods of time if something important needs to be taken care of and there is only one of us present with him. I cannot imagine how anyone can leave their child unattended when anytime I leave mine unattended my heart is racing.

 

[Pattonias]

There are terrible accidents that result from a innocent moment of carelessness/human error, and there are moments of simple ineptitude and irresponsibility. This was the latter. It's a shame that the child had to pay the price for this mothers inability to prioritize.

 

[Evo]

This is precisely the way of thinking that I was taking issue with before half this thread was deleted for being off topic. While I agree that the instance in the OP, leaving a child unattended in the tub before they are able to hold their own head out of the water, is clearly severe negligence, I strongly disagree that it is somehow irresponsible not to keep your child in your line of sight at all times.

No one said at all times, but a baby/toddler in the bathtub, around a pool, around stairs, in public, yes.

 

[NeoDevin]

I cannot imagine how anyone can leave their child unattended when anytime I leave mine unattended my heart is racing.

What do you do every time you need to go to the bathroom?

I'm not advocating leaving infant children unattended for hours at a time, I'm just trying to dispel a little bit of the fear that many parents feel at the thought of their little one being out of their direct line of sight.

My wife and I were both working for much of our son's infancy, so it was often only one of us home with him. If I needed to go to the bathroom, I would first check to make sure he was safe, and then go. I'd leave the door open so I could hear him, but it never worried me in the slightest. Same thing if I was making supper. The kitchen in our appt. was much too small to have him in there with me, so he was in the living room playing on his own, while I made supper. I would check on him every couple minutes, and listen carefully the whole time, but my heart was never racing.

 

[NeoDevin]

in public

This is the one that bugs me. The probability of a random baby snatching is so low as to be not worth worrying about. You're far more likely to have some conscientious adult notice them, and watch over them (or call the police on you, depending where you live) than to have some random person come along and snatch them.

Edit: Just for clarity, the other situations you listed, I agree that the child should be supervised until they are able to climb the stairs/keep their head out of water on their own (and do it well, so there's little chance of an accident). Even then, they should be within earshot. It's only the idea that "strangers" or "people" are a clear and present danger in the same sense that an open swimming pool, or a set of stairs is that bothers me. The vast majority of people are nice, caring people, who would probably even watch your children for you for a minute if you asked them to.

 

[Evo]

This is the one that bugs me. The probability of a random baby snatching is so low as to be not worth worrying about. You're far more likely to have some conscientious adult notice them, and watch over them (or call the police on you, depending where you live) than to have some random person come along and snatch them.

Edit: Just for clarity, the other situations you listed, I agree that the child should be supervised until they are able to climb the stairs/keep their head out of water on their own (and do it well, so there's little chance of an accident). Even then, they should be within earshot. It's only the idea that "strangers" or "people" are a clear and present danger in the same sense that an open swimming pool, or a set of stairs is that bothers me. The vast majority of people are nice, caring people, who would probably even watch your children for you for a minute if you asked them to.

To each his own. When I am shopping, I am not going to walk off and leave my child alone in a shopping cart or stroller while I go check out what's in the next isle. I have to admit, I haven't observed anyone doing that. I also have not observed infants or toddlers left alone in cars where I live either. So I feel this is very much the norm of how small children are cared for here. We're not talking older children.