Aether said:
I wasn't referring to "those who may want to spread this out thinly" there. What precentage of your friends and acquaintances (best guess) have been hurt by this? How did you form your opinions (e.g., "selfish or self-centered git"), religion, parents, born that way, live and learn?
The original quote I re-phrased.
Aether said:
Men can be quite romantic, but some of them may want to spread this out thinly over as many women (real or imagined) as possible without hurting anyone, whereas a woman may want a man to "spend" everything on her alone.
I don't see how someone doesn't ultimately get hurt. Would someone who spreads himself thin expect to conceal the various relationships? I suppose if one is simply dating many women, perhaps there is limited or lack of expectation.
At some point, a woman in a romantic relationship would likely expect an exclusive relationship (and in many cases the man would also), and that is how we have boyfriend/girlfriend, significant other, fiance, spouse.
As for my friends and acquaintances, probably the majority have had at least one relationship while they were single where the other party lost interest because something better came along. About half of couples I have known are now divorced.
As for my own views, maybe I was born with them, but certainly my parents and religious perspective have had a significant influence. My father is a Methodist minister and my parents are celebrating their 50th year of marriage. My parents probably have the best relationship I have ever seen. My grandparents were married for similarly long periods, and unfortunately, both grandmothers died prematurely for health reasons. I am in my 24th year of marriage.
As I passed through puberty, my parents and I had many discussions about sex and male/female relationships, and that perhaps had the greatest influence on my views. Before puberty (Grade 1-7), I had several girlfriends. After puberty, I took male/female relationships more seriously, and so I was much more reserved with women. At that point, I began to look for a wife.
Also, I did serious religious studies starting from about grade 7 through university, but I studied many religious practices, both eastern and western. I was very interested in the development of self-discipline and personal responsibility, and in the principle of 'reciprocity', which is an important element of any relationship. Also, I am not theistic in the traditional sense, nor am I atheistic.
Perhaps the term "selfish or self-centered git" is too harsh, but I have seen people think more of their own self-interest than that of others, and on that I was reflecting when I chose those words.