Can You Communicate with Deer by Closing Your Eyes?

[Ivan Seeking]

As has become the norm since the puppies all got old and died, we have a family of deer living on the property. Lately they have started hanging out just outside my office door, and almost everyday I get an opportunity to approach them and try to get a little closer.

I had made a good amount of progress by talking very softly while slowly appoaching them, but when within about twenty feet, they get very nervous. So I thought of something that works with dogs and cats: If you want to communicate that everything is okay, close your eyes. So I did, and the SOB attacked me!

Okay, not really. He immediately began to relax and eat his lunch. Now he is sitting about ten feet from my door. Very cool!

 

[Pengwuino]

Deer have evolved over time to reject the mating calls of humans

 

[Bladibla]

Well, What are you waiting for? Teach those deer who is on the top of the food chain in the 21st century!

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Well, What are you waiting for? Teach those deer who is on the top of the food chain in the 21st century!

Tsu and I have been talking about taming them and making them house deer.

I think the one is messing with my office cat. He sits right in front of the cat door.

 

[Pengwuino]

Teach your cat to box. Don't let him be pushed around like that.

 

[Math Is Hard]

Dress up like a hibiscus bush, Ivan. They will be all over you.

 

[chroot]

Wear robes, Ivan. Deer can hear a zipper miles away.

- Warren

 

[Danger]

Yeah. They're a lot more skittish than sheep.

The only proper thing to say to a deer is "Here, lunch. I have a surprise for you."

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Why do I get the feeling that this thread has taking a terrible turn?

 

[Pengwuino]

Why do I get the feeling that this thread has taking a terrible turn?

because i started posting in it?

 

[Math Is Hard]

I have a raccoon who wants to be a house pet. You can have him!

I'm surprised Tsu didn't take in that little fawn that was coming around.

 

[wolram]

I have a raccoon who wants to be house pet. You can have him!

I'm surprised Tsu didn't take in that little fawn that was coming around.

I would have him, i like all wild animmals, (well maybe not a skunk) meercats
are my favorite i would love to see/be with some of them.
Ivan, maybe you are to smelly for the deer, they are affraid of every thing
being at the bottom of the food chain, try having a shower in water only
and but on water only washed coveralls smeared with some of their muck,
take any thing shinny off and just sit quiet where they feed, heck you may
even get a mate

 

[zoobyshoe]

Once when I was crawling on all fours toward my favorite salt lick a disoriented deer, who I found out later had just downed two white russians, suddenly and recklessly crawled out in in front of me on a perpendicular path. Quaking in terror, I saw a collision was inevitable. Powerless to disobey Newton's First, my 800 lbs of zoobie mass crept toward the hapless, oblivious member of the family Cervidae at a breathtaking half mile an hour, but it all seemed to happen in slow motion, as if time had decelerated as in the climax of some film.

Just before impact I caught a line of the song he was complacently singing quietly to himself:

"...it's true when you say 'I love you.' It's a sin.."

and as I rendered him into so much useless venison I thought, at least I could tell his family he died singing.

 

[Astronuc]

I wish I had thought of this right off the bat - I am sometimes very slow.

How to talk with a deer?

"Shoot first and ask questions later."

 

[Evo]

Once when I was crawling on all fours toward my favorite salt lick a disoriented deer, who I found out later had just downed two white russians, suddenly and recklessly crawled out in in front of me on a perpendicular path. Quaking in terror, I saw a collision was inevitable. Powerless to disobey Newton's First, my 800 lbs of zoobie mass crept toward the hapless, oblivious member of the family Cervidae at a breathtaking half mile an hour, but it all seemed to happen in slow motion, as if time had decelerated as in the climax of some film.

Just before impact I caught a line of the song he was complacently singing quietly to himself:

"...it's true when you say 'I love you.' It's a sin.."

and as I rendered him into so much useless venison I thought, at least I could tell his family he died singing.

We need to write books and illustrate them zoob. I will quit my job and move into the brush shelter so we can collaborate. Can I bring my possum Raul?

 

[Moonbear]

Oh, it's very easy to talk to deer...getting them to stay around and listen is the hard part. *ba dum bum <cymbal>*

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Deer are like Bush supporters: They only stick around and listen if you say what they want to hear.

 

[Danger]

Deer are like Bush supporters

Especially the ones in the headlights.

 

[zoobyshoe]

We need to write books and illustrate them zoob. I will quit my job and move into the brush shelter so we can collaborate. Can I bring my possum Raul?

What's Raul do? Proofread?

Speaking of the brush shelter, I'm all discombobulated. The zoobie brush landlady called tonight and said she's thinking about selling the zoobie brush shelter west, where I live. She wants me to move to the zoobie brush shelter east and manage it. That's in Flushing/Queens. People talk funny there and they have winter.

Maybe you could sell your Mercedes and buy the brush shelter when she sells it. Then you'd be the zoobie brush landlady. You could order me to sleep with you or face eviction. I wouldn't resist. I don't want to move. The thought of it makes me dizzy and disoriented. I've lived here twelve years.

 

[hypatia]

oh nooooo zoob! Board up the windows..time to hunker down! Ivan must tell his deer to come down there and form a liveing deer barrier, around the shelter!

 

[Astronuc]

What's Raul do? Proofread?

Raul drools a lot, as I understand it.

Speaking of the brush shelter, I'm all discombobulated. The zoobie brush landlady called tonight and said she's thinking about selling the zoobie brush shelter west, where I live. She wants me to move to the zoobie brush shelter east and manage it. That's in Flushing/Queens. People talk funny there and they have winter.

Oooh. What is she - nuts!? She should sell brush shelter east. Who in their right mind would move from SD to Flushing, Queens!?

Maybe you could sell your Mercedes and buy the brush shelter when she sells it. Then you'd be the zoobie brush landlady. You could order me to sleep with you or face eviction. I wouldn't resist. I don't want to move. The thought of it makes me dizzy and disoriented. I've lived here twelve years.

BMW

 

[Danger]

Raul drools a lot, as I understand it.

You would too, if you lived with Evo.

 

[zoobyshoe]

oh nooooo zoob! Board up the windows..time to hunker down! Ivan must tell his deer to come down there and form a liveing deer barrier, around the shelter!

Yes. We could stage a protest and invite the press.

Oooh. What is she - nuts!? She should sell brush shelter east. Who in their right mind would move from SD to Flushing, Queens!?

I know. I'm too old to learn a new dialect.

 

[Astronuc]

You would too, if you lived with Evo.

No I wouldn't.

 

[Moonbear]

Speaking of the brush shelter, I'm all discombobulated. The zoobie brush landlady called tonight and said she's thinking about selling the zoobie brush shelter west, where I live. She wants me to move to the zoobie brush shelter east and manage it. That's in Flushing/Queens. People talk funny there and they have winter.

She thinks you'd move clear across the country because she's selling the brush shelter? Just how much is the new brush landlady going to raise the rent?

 

[Astronuc]

"How to talk with a deer" should actually be "How to stalk a deer" which is more the case.

 

[Danger]

No I wouldn't.

Would too, but nobody'd notice because your beard would soak it up.

Anyhow, you only denied it because your wife is reading over your shoulder.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Okay we're done talking. There is no doubt that adult male is starting to size me up. His head appears to be a good foot higher than mine, but it's hard to tell since he's usually up on a hill. In either case, he is large animal, and this morning he approached me in a fairly aggressive manner. It definitely got my attention. Of course, one stamp of the foot and he jumped about three feet high. For now, the buds on his head are just starting to grow, and the deer should all head up into the hills when the creek dries up, so they probably won't be around much longer. But I can certainly see where this can get to be a real problem if a large buck with a full rack were hanging around during rutting season.

It is amazing how quickly his posture has changed. In a matter of a week or two, he went from timid, to noticably aggressive.

 

[Moonbear]

Okay we're done talking. There is no doubt that adult male is starting to size me up. His head appears to be a good foot higher than mine, but it's hard to tell since he's usually up on a hill. In either case, he is large animal, and this morning he approached me in a fairly aggressive manner. It definitely got my attention. Of course, one stamp of the foot and he jumped about three feet high. For now, the buds on his head are just starting to grow, and the deer should all head up into the hills when the creek dries up, so they probably won't be around much longer. But I can certainly see where this can get to be a real problem if a large buck with a full rack were hanging around during rutting season.

It is amazing how quickly his posture has changed. In a matter of a week or two, he went from timid, to noticably aggressive.

Who stamped their foot, him or you? Be careful of that around a buck...foot stomping is a warning sign for deer (sort of says "I'm not happy about you being where you are, back off!"), and the last thing you want is for him to interpret your attempt to shoo him off as a challenge!.

Yes, bucks can be pretty dangerous. So can does, but they prefer to run away unless you corner them. They'll rip you apart with their hooves if cornered.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Who stamped their foot, him or you? Be careful of that around a buck...foot stomping is a warning sign for deer (sort of says "I'm not happy about you being where you are, back off!"), and the last thing you want is for him to interpret your attempt to shoo him off as a challenge!.

I did. He started to trot towards me with his head high and looking very aggressive, and when he got within about twenty feet, I figured that I had better assume a dominant role.

Bad idea? What is best if they seem aggressive and move towards you.