Chiropractor claims to travel through time

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  • #1
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Oh brother. :rolleyes:

"COLUMBUS, Ohio - A chiropractor who claims he can treat anyone by reaching back in time to when an injury occurred has attracted the attention of state regulators.

My foot hurt and, knowing anatomy, I went ahead and I told it to realign and my pain went away," Burda said Thursday.

Burda calls his treatment "Bahlaqeem."

"It is a made-up word and, to my knowledge, has no known meaning except for this intended purpose. It does, however, have a soothing vibrational influence and contains the very special number of nine letters," Burda's Web site says."

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12208638/
 

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  • #2
chroot
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The Web site describes the treatment as "a long-distance healing service (not a product) to help increase the quality of your life that can be performed in the privacy of your home or other personal space. There is no need to come to my office."
That's right. You don't even need to come into his office for him to treat you! He'll travel back in time and treat your nascent injury while you go on about your busy day. All you have to do is send him a check for $60.

- Warren
 
  • #3
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no no guys, he's telling the truth. it worked for me. i had this serious back injury, but i saw him and he fixed it all up so it never even happened. i couldn't remember it, but he told me all about the horrible pain he saved me from. this guy is AMAZING!
 
  • #4
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chroot said:
All you have to do is send him a check for $60.
Actually it's free if it works.He fixes you injury and you'll never have to ask anyone to fix your back so you never need it fixed and you will never have to ask travell back into time to fix your back so you'll never have to give $60.
 
  • #5
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scott1 said:
Actually it's free if it works.He fixes you injury and you'll never have to ask anyone to fix your back so you never need it fixed and you will never have to ask travell back into time to fix your back so you'll never have to give $60.

Don't tell him that, his head might explode
 
  • #6
JamesU
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Evo said:
Oh brother. :rolleyes:

"COLUMBUS, Ohio - A chiropractor who claims he can treat anyone by reaching back in time to when an injury occurred has attracted the attention of state regulators.

My foot hurt and, knowing anatomy, I went ahead and I told it to realign and my pain went away," Burda said Thursday.

Burda calls his treatment "Bahlaqeem."

"It is a made-up word and, to my knowledge, has no known meaning except for this intended purpose. It does, however, have a soothing vibrational influence and contains the very special number of nine letters," Burda's Web site says."

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12208638/
So, if he goes back in time and you never have the injury, meaning you never go to his office to get your pan healed, meaning he never gets payed, how does he make money...?
 
  • #7
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yomamma said:
So, if he goes back in time and you never have the injury, meaning you never go to his office to get your pan healed, meaning he never gets payed, how does he make money...?
Because anyone insane enough to use someone like this wouldn't have enough of a grasp on reality to not pay.
 
  • #8
Moonbear
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The treatment sounds about as legitimate as some people's claims of injuries are, so I guess as long as he only treats the hypochondriacs, it's a good arrangement. :rolleyes:
 
  • #9
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I think I am going to start a "preventative" medical site. I will travel into the future and prevent people from getting sick. I think that would be worth a LOT of money.
 
  • #10
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If he wants to make money time travell he should back into time and tell himslef the lottery ticket numbers.
 
  • #11
Moonbear
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Evo said:
I think I am going to start a "preventative" medical site. I will travel into the future and prevent people from getting sick. I think that would be worth a LOT of money.
:rofl: Isn't that called health insurance? Pay now and hope you don't get sick later? :biggrin: And, hey, if they do get sick anyway, you can still tell them you prevented that heart attack or car accident, but they didn't pay enough for you to go so far into the future to prevent the cancer, or it was already too late to stop them on that.
 
  • #12
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Moonbear said:
:rofl: Isn't that called health insurance? Pay now and hope you don't get sick later? :biggrin: And, hey, if they do get sick anyway, you can still tell them you prevented that heart attack or car accident, but they didn't pay enough for you to go so far into the future to prevent the cancer, or it was already too late to stop them on that.
Well, you know, you can't cure "everything". But I can make enough money from what I "do" cure to make a suitable living. :rofl:
 
  • #13
Moonbear
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Evo said:
Well, you know, you can't cure "everything". But I can make enough money from what I "do" cure to make a suitable living. :rofl:
Of course. And if you don't stop them from getting hit by the bus, they're not going to sue you anyway. :devil:
 
  • #14
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What's interesting, at least mildly, is that he seems to have discovered on his own a very old shamanic technique. Roughly: the shaman goes on an interior journey during which he either literally or symbolically sees the event in the person's past that started their problem. Having done that, he can direct them on what to do to fix it.

Apparently, from the story, he gets alot of patients. That must indicate this notion makes sense to people in some fundamental way.
 
  • #15
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zoobyshoe said:
What's interesting, at least mildly, is that he seems to have discovered on his own a very old shamanic technique. Roughly: the shaman goes on an interior journey during which he either literally or symbolically sees the event in the person's past that started their problem. Having done that, he can direct them on what to do to fix it.

Apparently, from the story, he gets alot of patients. That must indicate this notion makes sense to people in some fundamental way.

When on acid lots of things will make sense in fundamental ways too.
 
  • #16
Math Is Hard
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Evo said:
Burda calls his treatment "Bahlaqeem."
On the behalf of the Scrabble players of America, please accept my sincerest thanks. :smile:
 
  • #17
Ivan Seeking
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Math Is Hard said:
On the behalf of the Scrabble players of America, please accept my sincerest thanks. :smile:
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I thought the key was to know words like qua, and fa...
 
  • #18
Curious3141
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Evo said:
...Burda calls his treatment "Bahlaqeem."
I've got a better word.

"BALONEY". An even more significant seven letters. :rolleyes: :rofl:
 
  • #19
Astronuc
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Math Is Hard said:
On the behalf of the Scrabble players of America, please accept my sincerest thanks. :smile:
QUIJZAKX is better. :biggrin:

No I just need to find the definition. :rofl:

Edit: I found the definition - it was right before my eyes.

QUIJZAKX - the best SCRABBLE word. Now I just have to get it into a dictionary. :rofl:
 
Last edited:
  • #20
Curious3141
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I guess it's too bad "KWYJIBO" has been taken, that has a nice ring to it. :biggrin:
 
  • #21
JamesU
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hmmm.....a big fat bald north american ape with a bad temper...

did I get that right Curious?
 
  • #22
Curious3141
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yomamma said:
hmmm.....a big fat bald north american ape with a bad temper...

did I get that right Curious?
Close enough, but I think "with no chin" also comes into the "definition". :rofl:
 
  • #23
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yomamma said:
hmmm.....a big fat bald north american ape with a bad temper...

did I get that right Curious?
"A big, dumb, balding North American ape. With no chin. And a short temper."
 
  • #24
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Magic "doctors"
These people make me sick.
OMG, I'm fueling their own insanity!
 
  • #25
matthyaouw
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Evo said:
Oh brother. :rolleyes:

"COLUMBUS, Ohio - A chiropractor who claims he can treat anyone by reaching back in time to when an injury occurred has attracted the attention of state regulators.
All hope is lost! My grandad's chyropractor said that even reaching back in time won't do anything for his slipped disk. Or maybe he said he didn't reach his back in time to help... :uhh:
 

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