Admissions Could I please get critique on my SOP? (Experimental Biophysics)

redflactober
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Hello. I'm an undergrad at FSU and want to apply for experimental Biophysics in physics departments of schools in the Northeast (and 2 in Oregon). You might have seen me stressing on a separate post here recently.

I've had my SOP critiqued by my professor, she's on my school's admissions committee. My first draft she said spoke too little about my previous research. She said I need to talk more about it, so I can show that I understood the scope of what I was doing, and not just turning knobs. She said this would get the committee to seriously consider the fact that I want to change fields into Biophysics. When speaking on my research, I followed GARI protocol (Goals, Approaches, Results, and Implications) and tried to only include information that would be relevant and add value. I am worried that maybe I speak too much about my research, and am thinking about trying to condense the topic even further. I have ~480 words specifically talking about my research. The remaining 400 words are trying to convey how my research prepared me for grad studies, what I am interested in, why I want to go to [insert school], who I want to work with and why, as well as why going to [insert school] is important for my future goals.

A few more words on what advice I was given: she wanted me to make my intro paragraph much shorter and more of an overview of what I've done, because I previously opened with ultra specific info about what I want to study and why, which she said should be more vague and should come in some detail later in the statement. I was previously opening with "being perplexed at how intermolecular forces, fluctuations, and crowding scale into mesoscopic behavior that we see inside cells" because that's genuinely what I am interested in. She said that's fine and all, but there's no guarantees anyone on the committee will be a biophysicist or care that much about the specifics of my interests. She said I have to open short and to the point so I don't lose anyone's attention. She said to overall try and maximize talk on my research and why it prepares me.

If I could please have some feedback from someone who has maybe been on an admissions committee or knows about the process internally, it would ease my anxiety and I would greatly appreciate it. I suspect I should do some shuffling or some more edits before my first deadlines arrive on Dec 1, but I find I need outside perspective.



This version of my SOP is for Northeastern:
______________________________________________________________________________
As a physics major applying from Florida State University (FSU), I have a solid background in core physics classes. I’m also taking electives in fluid mechanics, condensed matter, and machine learning. At FSU, I have researched experimental Condensed Matter and Nuclear Structure. I believe my experiences will help me transition into Biophysics at Northeastern, where I’m interested in the physical principles governing intracellular organization.

I began my undergraduate research in Prof. Stephen Hill’s Electron Magnetic Resonance (EMR) Group, where we ask a central question in molecular magnetism: how can we design molecules whose magnetic moments remain bistable near room temperature, despite thermal fluctuations and quantum tunneling? Solving this problem could enable true single-molecule magnets (SMMs) to store classical bits at the molecular scale. Arrays of such SMMs could in principle reach information densities exceeding 100 ##\frac{Tb}{in^2}##, two orders of magnitude above current hard-drive technology.
The challenge is that the magnetic moment of a molecule will eventually flip or “relax” when thermal energy becomes comparable to a magnetic anisotropy energy barrier which opposes reversal. Even below this temperature, relaxation can still occur through quantum tunneling of magnetization (QTM) when external magnetic fields align spin levels into resonance. Thus, the design goal becomes maximizing the anisotropy barrier and suppressing tunneling, both of which depend on the electronic structure of the SMMs metallic center and ligand geometry.
I focused on characterizing this energy landscape by measuring magnetic anisotropy in lanthanide coordination complexes. I mounted single crystals into electron paramagnetic resonance (EPR) probes, wrote automated rotation and field-sweep measurement routines using Python, then identified EPR transitions by monitoring changes in transmitted microwave power when the sample absorbed resonant radiation. To extract anisotropy parameters, I fitted the angular dependence of these resonances to an appropriate spin Hamiltonian model. These measurements helped our collaborators determine whether new molecular structures increase the magnetic anisotropy barrier. This work culminated in a poster presentation at SERMACS 2024, where I outlined our EPR measurement protocol.

To broaden my perspective on how different fields handle data analysis and uncertainty, I joined Prof. Ingo Wiedenhöver’s Nuclear Astrophysics Group. My thesis aims to reduce uncertainty in models of Type I X-ray bursts, which depend sensitively on the structure of short-lived nuclei created during the explosion. I focused on key excited states in one such nucleus, ##^{30}Si##, which we created in the lab by sending a beam of deuterons onto a thin ##^{29}Si## target.
We detected outgoing protons with the Super Enge Split-Pole Spectrograph. The spectrograph bends the trajectory of each proton through a magnetic field according to its momentum, while the focal-plane detector records both the particle’s position and energy loss. Using data-analysis tools I wrote in Rust, I converted these raw detector signals into proton momenta and then into excitation-energy spectra of ##^{30}Si## using two-body reaction kinematics.
To probe the structure of each excited state, I repeated these measurements at several spectrograph angles, then extracted the proton yield at each angle to build angular-distribution curves. The shapes of these distributions reveal the orbital angular momentum carried by the transferred neutron, allowing me to make spin-parity assignments for the ##^{30}Si## levels. These assignments are key inputs for constraining the astrophysical reaction rate. I believe several of these assignments may be new, and hope to publish this work after defending my thesis in Spring 2026.

Across both projects I learned how to review literature, operate ultra-precise cryogenic and spectroscopic equipment, diagnose systematic effects, extract physical information from large, particle-ID or magnetic spectra datasets, propagate uncertainties through to results, and communicate my findings. These experiences have been invaluable in developing a basic research skillset, and I’ve found that I enjoy working as part of a team. I have also worked as an undergraduate TA in General Physics classes over the past four semesters, and enjoy exploring physics pedagogically.

Unfortunately, FSU lacked biophysics opportunities, though my interests have still landed in this field. A physical approach to the complexity of biology is exciting to me, while also helping routes to new discoveries in therapeutics or bio-inspired materials. I’m interested in working with Prof. Liao because her research on dendrite branching aligns with my focus on cellular organization. Specifically, in connecting properties of cytoskeletal transport to systematic narrowing of the dendrites, I’m motivated to assist in developing imaging techniques and machine learning algorithms for analysis. Professor Stevenson’s recent work on the effect of confinement geometry on lipid diffusion also interests me. I was excited to see his NIH Award supporting NV center based nanoscale magnetic resonance for probing membrane dynamics. With my background in EPR and interest in intracellular processes, I would be equally eager to contribute in interpreting membrane physics from magnetic spectra.

Northeastern is an ideal place to pursue my interests because it hosts meaningful dialogue between the life and physical sciences, where I can learn from what others are asking while providing my perspective from physics. The research environment at Northeastern stands out because of its close collaboration between theory and experiment, providing training that mirrors the interdisciplinary research culture in which I want to work. After graduate school I aspire to study the physical principles governing intracellular organization across scales through quantitative experiments and computation at a national laboratory or in academia.

With a strong foundation in basic theory, research, and teaching, I hope to bring my skillset to your school. I believe I am going to be a great asset in the graduate program.
______________________________________________________________________________




I Will be applying to:
Northeastern
Tufts
Carnegie Mellon
UPenn
Boston U
Syracuse U
Umass Amherst
Yale
UPittsburgh
NYU
Rutgers
UBuffalo
UVermont
UOregon
Brandeis
URhode Island
Clark University
Worcester Polytechnic
Wesleyan
Rochester Institute of Tech.
FSU (Home school)
Oregon State
(We can debate if Pittsburgh is the NE, but eh, its close enough. Did I miss any stellar biophysics research in physics programs specifically in the NE that I should consider? I am not applying to Cornell, MIT, Harvard, or Stony Brook)
 
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redflactober said:
As a physics major applying from Florida State University (FSU), I have a solid background in core physics classes. I’m also taking electives in fluid mechanics, condensed matter, and machine learning. At FSU, I have researched experimental Condensed Matter and Nuclear Structure. I believe my experiences will help me transition into Biophysics at Northeastern, where I’m interested in the physical principles governing intracellular organization.
I think if you're applying to graduate school they have a pretty good indication that you have a solid background in the core classes. The last sentence here should probably rewritten and made the first.

redflactober said:
I began my undergraduate research in Prof. Stephen Hill’s Electron Magnetic Resonance (EMR) Group, where we ask a central question in molecular magnetism: how can we design molecules whose magnetic moments remain bistable near room temperature, despite thermal fluctuations and quantum tunneling? Solving this problem could enable true single-molecule magnets (SMMs) to store classical bits at the molecular scale. Arrays of such SMMs could in principle reach information densities exceeding 100 Tbin2, two orders of magnitude above current hard-drive technology.
The challenge is that the magnetic moment of a molecule will eventually flip or “relax” when thermal energy becomes comparable to a magnetic anisotropy energy barrier which opposes reversal. Even below this temperature, relaxation can still occur through quantum tunneling of magnetization (QTM) when external magnetic fields align spin levels into resonance. Thus, the design goal becomes maximizing the anisotropy barrier and suppressing tunneling, both of which depend on the electronic structure of the SMMs metallic center and ligand geometry.
I focused on characterizing this energy landscape by measuring magnetic anisotropy in lanthanide coordination complexes. I mounted single crystals into electron paramagnetic resonance (EPR) probes, wrote automated rotation and field-sweep measurement routines using Python, then identified EPR transitions by monitoring changes in transmitted microwave power when the sample absorbed resonant radiation. To extract anisotropy parameters, I fitted the angular dependence of these resonances to an appropriate spin Hamiltonian model. These measurements helped our collaborators determine whether new molecular structures increase the magnetic anisotropy barrier. This work culminated in a poster presentation at SERMACS 2024, where I outlined our EPR measurement protocol.

This seems good.

redflactober said:
To broaden my perspective on how different fields handle data analysis and uncertainty, I joined Prof. Ingo Wiedenhöver’s Nuclear Astrophysics Group. My thesis aims to reduce uncertainty in models of Type I X-ray bursts, which depend sensitively on the structure of short-lived nuclei created during the explosion. I focused on key excited states in one such nucleus, 30Si, which we created in the lab by sending a beam of deuterons onto a thin 29Si target.
We detected outgoing protons with the Super Enge Split-Pole Spectrograph. The spectrograph bends the trajectory of each proton through a magnetic field according to its momentum, while the focal-plane detector records both the particle’s position and energy loss. Using data-analysis tools I wrote in Rust, I converted these raw detector signals into proton momenta and then into excitation-energy spectra of 30Si using two-body reaction kinematics.
To probe the structure of each excited state, I repeated these measurements at several spectrograph angles, then extracted the proton yield at each angle to build angular-distribution curves. The shapes of these distributions reveal the orbital angular momentum carried by the transferred neutron, allowing me to make spin-parity assignments for the 30Si levels. These assignments are key inputs for constraining the astrophysical reaction rate. I believe several of these assignments may be new, and hope to publish this work after defending my thesis in Spring 2026.

Also good.

redflactober said:
Across both projects I learned how to review literature, operate ultra-precise cryogenic and spectroscopic equipment, diagnose systematic effects, extract physical information from large, particle-ID or magnetic spectra datasets, propagate uncertainties through to results, and communicate my findings. These experiences have been invaluable in developing a basic research skillset, and I’ve found that I enjoy working as part of a team. I have also worked as an undergraduate TA in General Physics classes over the past four semesters, and enjoy exploring physics pedagogically.

This has some good information, but it could use a rewrite. You should split the TA part into it's own paragraph probably above where you're summing up all your skills. What did you learn TAing? What was your feedback? Etc. Don't just paste the TA thing on.

redflactober said:
Unfortunately, FSU lacked biophysics opportunities, though my interests have still landed in this field.
Delete this, it doesn't make sense and doesn't help you. https://biophysics.fsu.edu/. I'm not going to be the only person to read this and do a quick google search. If anyone else did, even if you couldn't get on with these groups for some reason, they'd probably just drop you there.


redflactober said:
A physical approach to the complexity of biology is exciting to me, while also helping routes to new discoveries in therapeutics or bio-inspired materials. I’m interested in working with Prof. Liao because her research on dendrite branching aligns with my focus on cellular organization. Specifically, in connecting properties of cytoskeletal transport to systematic narrowing of the dendrites, I’m motivated to assist in developing imaging techniques and machine learning algorithms for analysis. Professor Stevenson’s recent work on the effect of confinement geometry on lipid diffusion also interests me. I was excited to see his NIH Award supporting NV center based nanoscale magnetic resonance for probing membrane dynamics. With my background in EPR and interest in intracellular processes, I would be equally eager to contribute in interpreting membrane physics from magnetic spectra.
This is where you talk about where you want to go with your PhD research. Don't put all your horses in the one cart though by name dropping a PI here. You tried to hedge your bets by dropping the other PI but you said you want to specifically work with Dr. Liao. Would you be disappointed to not be in Liaos group? I dunno and neither does the person reading the letter. Use this section to talk about where you want your research to go and tie it in loosely to what groups are already doing there. You can then talk about how the current research going on at the university makes you a good fit.


redflactober said:
Northeastern is an ideal place to pursue my interests because it hosts meaningful dialogue between the life and physical sciences, where I can learn from what others are asking while providing my perspective from physics. The research environment at Northeastern stands out because of its close collaboration between theory and experiment, providing training that mirrors the interdisciplinary research culture in which I want to work. After graduate school I aspire to study the physical principles governing intracellular organization across scales through quantitative experiments and computation at a national laboratory or in academia.
This is just fluff. What you had above was better.

Also, FYI, you should reach out to some of these PIs via email before applying and see if they're taking on new physics graduate students and see if they're interested in talking with you.
 
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QuarkyMeson said:
This has some good information, but it could use a rewrite. You should split the TA part into it's own paragraph probably above where you're summing up all your skills. What did you learn TAing? What was your feedback? Etc. Don't just paste the TA thing on.
Thanks for the reply. I know it takes time to read this stuff.

I'll add some context about the TA'ing in its own paragraph.


Delete this, it doesn't make sense and doesn't help you. https://biophysics.fsu.edu/. I'm not going to be the only person to read this and do a quick google search. If anyone else did, even if you couldn't get on with these groups for some reason, they'd probably just drop you there.
Yes we do have a molecular biophysics department, I just didn't know about it until recently. There's no biological physics in our physics department was what I meant, sorry. And if you happen to show me Van Winkle's or Rikvold's profiles, they're both not in the department anymore. Kinda annoying sometimes when the schools websites arent fully up to date. The actual molecular biophysics department PIs had no space for me to research with them when I asked recently. Not like it would matter anyways, as I must finish my nuclear thesis to graduate now. It's also primarily biologists, and I'm not sure if they're making models in the same way I want to in a physics group, though I might be wrong. There's a few engineering professors doing fluid/bio research on microswimmers, and I have setup plans to research with one group in the summer. Not sure if that makes sense to add into the statement though. Maybe I should not address why I didn't do biophysics in undergrad? I was under the impression it could help. I was thinking admissions would question why I didn't just get relevant experience if I really know what I want to do so much. Any thoughts on this information's relevance?


This is where you talk about where you want to go with your PhD research. Don't put all your horses in the one cart though by name dropping a PI here. You tried to hedge your bets by dropping the other PI but you said you want to specifically work with Dr. Liao. Would you be disappointed to not be in Liaos group? I dunno and neither does the person reading the letter. Use this section to talk about where you want your research to go and tie it in loosely to what groups are already doing there. You can then talk about how the current research going on at the university makes you a good fit.
There are 4 professors I would like to work with there. Liao, Stevenson, Bi, or Di Pierro. I thought mentioning some PI names was recommended, that was the motivation for that. I am interested in working with them in that order as well, so I might be a little disappointed if I didn't get to work with Prof. Liao's group. Sorry, but regarding the PIs I don't quite understand what you meant, do I want to make the reader know I would be disappointed if I didn't get into those groups? From what I understand, I should be slightly more in depth on the research I want to do, slightly less explicit about who I want to work with, then tie it together suggestively.

This is just fluff. What you had above was better.

This was how I was trying to address why Northeastern is necessary for my future goals, and the last sentence of that paragraph I thought was a must: stating what I want to do after the PhD. Surely I should at least convey my future direction, right? My professor who originally gave me advice on the SOP said these portions about why [insert school] will help with my future goals is more of a formality than anything else, that most admissions departments know all students apply to at least a dozen schools, and that they don't expect too much about the topic. I feel you're reiterating that sentiment?
 
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redflactober said:
Yes we do have a molecular biophysics department, I just didn't know about it until recently. There's no biological physics in our physics department was what I meant, sorry. And if you happen to show me David Van Winkle's or Per Arne Rikvold's profiles, they're both not in the department anymore. Annoying I know, FSU isn't updating their website completely. The actual molecular biophysics department is small, and no PIs had space for me to research with them when I asked recently. Not like it would matter anyways, as I must finish my nuclear thesis to graduate now. It's also primarily biologists, and I'm not sure if they're making models in the same way I want to in a physics group, though I might be wrong. There's a few engineering professors doing fluid/bio research on microswimmers, and I have setup plans to research with one group in the summer. Not sure if that makes sense to add into the statement though. Maybe I should not address why I didn't do biophysics in undergrad? I was under the impression it could help. I was thinking admissions would question why I didn't just get relevant experience if I really know what I want to do so much. Any thoughts on this information's relevance?
Yeah. I just mean adding in that you had no opportunities to do biophysics research as an undergrad isn't going to really help you at all. Wording it as FSUs failure also seems a bit disingenuous. I would drop it completely and think about how the research experience you had as an undergrad led you to your interest in biophysics instead. I would guess admissions committees know that sometimes you just don't have a chance to do research in the field you're actually interested in due to a myriad of reasons.


redflactober said:
  • There are 4 professors I would like to work with there. Liao, Stevenson, Bi, or Di Pierro. I thought mentioning some PI names was recommended, that was the motivation for that. I am interested in working with them in that order as well, so I might be a little disappointed if I didn't get to work with Prof. Liao's group. Sorry, but regarding the PIs I don't quite understand what you meant, do I want to make the reader know I would be disappointed if I didn't get into those groups? From what I understand, I should be slightly more in depth on the research I want to do, slightly less explicit about who I want to work with, then tie it together suggestively.
If you talk with them and they're looking for students targeting them in your SOP might be a good thing, but just targeting them blindly is probably a little iffy. You shouldn't make the reader know you'd be disappointed you can't work with group X because group X might be full and not taking students but adjacent group Y is. This is a gut call on your side, I don't think it's really that bad the way you've written it.


redflactober said:
The last part you called fluff was how I was trying to address why Northeastern is necessary for my future goals, and the last sentence of that paragraph I thought was a must: stating what I want to do after the PhD. Surely I should at least convey my future direction, right? My professor who originally gave me advice on the SOP said these portions about why [insert school] will help with my future goals is more of a formality than anything else, that most admissions departments know all students apply to at least a dozen schools, and that they don't expect too much about the topic. I feel you're reiterating that sentiment?
You did a much better job addressing that in the paragraph above. The second one felt like fluff to make your SOP longer.

I'm an undergrad, take what I saw with a grain of salt. This is just how I feel and have been coached on this.
 
QuarkyMeson said:
Yeah. I just mean adding in that you had no opportunities to do biophysics research as an undergrad isn't going to really help you at all. Wording it as FSUs failure also seems a bit disingenuous. I would drop it completely and think about how the research experience you had as an undergrad led you to your interest in biophysics instead. I would guess admissions committees know that sometimes you just don't have a chance to do research in the field you're actually interested in due to a myriad of reasons.
I might have to come up with a reason. My real one is wanting to help discover laws that can lead to better disease mechanism understanding, but I was told its too much an appeal to emotion, and more a goal brought about by multiple group's work combined, not just mine. I just found nonlinear and stochastic processes super interesting and watched a lot of youtube lectures, read some textbooks. Will have to work on that



QuarkyMeson said:
If you talk with them and they're looking for students targeting them in your SOP might be a good thing, but just targeting them blindly is probably a little iffy. You shouldn't make the reader know you'd be disappointed you can't work with group X because group X might be full and not taking students but adjacent group Y is. This is a gut call on your side, I don't think it's really that bad the way you've written it.
Both of their group websites list that they're looking for students. It's like a week before the due date, it might look bad to email them now? Maybe just mentioning them knowing they are taking students will work out, ehhhh. Guess I'll hope for the best

QuarkyMeson said:
I'm an undergrad, take what I saw with a grain of salt. This is just how I feel and have been coached on this.
Will do, still, two perspectives are better than one.
 
There's probably not enough time left for Northeastern before the priority deadline, but for schools that have a later deadline you should definitely reach out. For example, BU is Dec. 15, you probably have time to reach out and inquire about their program without making it seem like an afterthought.
 
redflactober said:
I Will be applying to:
Northeastern
Tufts
Carnegie Mellon
UPenn
Boston U
Syracuse U
Umass Amherst
Yale
UPittsburgh
NYU
Rutgers
UBuffalo
UVermont
UOregon
Brandeis
URhode Island
Clark University
Worcester Polytechnic
Wesleyan
Rochester Institute of Tech.
FSU (Home school)
Oregon State
That's a lot of schools to apply to. Make sure you take the time to research each one in detail.
 

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