Dealing with flirtatious behavior

[Dembadon]

Thanks Dembadon, that's all I need to know. Good luck.

Rhody...

Hey rhody,

We saw each other this morning in the library. She came over and apologized for making me feel uncomfortable, and that it was not her intention. She also said her reaction (disappearing for two days) was due to panic; she didn't know how to respond because she has "...never been in that situation before." She didn't know how to react so she just left.

The conversation ended well, and I think we'll end up being friends or acquaintances.

Thanks to everyone who helped me process how to handle this situation.

 

[256bits]

You seem like a nice enough guy and she sounds like a nice enough girl.

 

[MarcoD]

Do you mean subconscious?

I did. I am not a native speaker so I chose the wrong word.

 

[netgypsy]

I have a friend who is super attractive to women (he really has no clue) but his wife always says she carries a big stick to beat them off. Sometimes the best solution in this type of situation is to have your wife show up for the class she's in and come give you a big kiss and hug right in front of her. If that doesn't work you can always mention her big stick. hahaha

 

[Office_Shredder]

If that doesn't work you can always mention her big stick

What kind of women do you hang out with?

 

[netgypsy]

Women who carry a big stick are never boring.

 

[Dembadon]

/popcorn

 

[netgypsy]

Flirting is great fun as long as both parties know it's not serious, both parties have equal "power", and The partners of each are in on the joke. My friend's wife "with the big stick" will always point out a very attractive young lady to her husband if she sees her first because she is rightfully that confidant of her spouse's feelings for her. I think it was Paul Newman who said "Why would I go out for hamburger when I have steak at home?"

 

[Dembadon]

Flirting is great fun as long as both parties know it's not serious, both parties have equal "power", and The partners of each are in on the joke. My friend's wife "with the big stick" will always point out a very attractive young lady to her husband if she sees her first because she is rightfully that confidant of her spouse's feelings for her. I think it was Paul Newman who said "Why would I go out for hamburger when I have steak at home?"

Indeed! I'm fortunate to have found someone who trusts me and who is secure enough to not freak out when I mention these situations. It's nice to be able to talk about things like this without getting in a fight; the same can't be said for many couples I know.

 

[netgypsy]

Sad but true

 

[widereader]

This girl knows I'm married (I talk about my wife a lot in conversations and am always wearing my ring), but I find it odd that she quickly tries to change the subject whenever I mention our relationship. She does not show interest in getting to know what kind of person my wife is, which was the first thing that made me a bit wary. I also find it to be rude that she does not show any interest in getting to know the most important person in my life.

I'm not sure how to move forward. I don't want to confront someone who's just overly outgoing and nice, but I also do not want to give the impression that if she's flirting, I find it acceptable.

The reason why some families and marriages are being destroyed is that because of the existence of this one lady who truly wants to be more than friendly with a married man. Although it may seem awkward to tell her frankly about the way you feel about it, you should try to tell her that although you do not interpret her actions as flirty, tell her that your wife finds this kinds of dealings uncomfortably. Make her understand that you truly and surely love your wife and that you always want to please her. This will make her understand that you do not like her actions on you.

 

[netgypsy]

And sadly enough there are people of both genders who seek out married people for more casual "relationships" because they are taken and won't become a problem or want a true long term involvement. It's also very heady for them to make someone cheat on their spouse. And they will end up alone and unloved.