Has this ever happened to you? Or am I unique or just stupid?

[Loren Booda]

godtrip,

One could fashion a pipe from the bottle and blame the scorch on bowl-burn.

 

[megashawn]

Originally posted by me:

Sorry man, I think your all alone on this feat.

Well, I hate it when I'm wrong, but I like to come clean and admit it. I believe this story can even make you feel better:

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=573&ncid=757&e=10&u=/nm/20031013/od_nm/odd_russia_washing_dc

The unnamed Muscovite added a liter of petrol to his washing machine to help dissolve the stain

hehehehehe

I wonder if anyone can top this?

 

[jimmy p]

Mega Morons

MEGA MORON #1
A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer?
$15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, was a crime committed?]


MEGA MORON #2
A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, "FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A F**K-UP!" For a moment, everyone was silent.
Then the snickers started. The guard completely lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the thief got him. The thief ran away and is still at large. In memory of the event, the banker later put a plaque on the wall engraved "Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a f__k-up!"

MEGA MORON #3
Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on video tape.

MEGA MORON #4
As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied "Yes Officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

MEGA MORON #5 and 5 STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle Street, he got much more than he bargained for.
Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motorhome near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

MEGA MORON #6
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5am, flashed a gun and Demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

MEGA MORON #7
Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper.


Not sure if these beat ur stories but i have a few more up my sleeve hehe

 

[renedox]

lol, we have very funny people on this little li'l ol' Earth :P :D

 

[megashawn]

Ya, I saw the video of the guy throwing the brick at the plexiglass. That had to be one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

I'm still trying to understand what was going through the guys head putting gas on his pants and in the washer.

 

[Monique]

Yes, I saw that plexiglass guy too :) I think he threw it a couple of times even, the last bounce hitting him out :P

 

[Royce]

Mentat and I are still waiting to find out how yo bur your foot making popcorn.
I had a shipmate that ran over his own foot with a motor scooter while touring the Bahamas. Another who power screwed his hand to the sheet metal wall for as steel building he was helping put up. The worst part was getting up the courage to unscrew himself.

 

[franznietzsche]

Mentat and I are still waiting to find out how yo bur your foot making popcorn.
I had a shipmate that ran over his own foot with a motor scooter while touring the Bahamas. Another who power screwed his hand to the sheet metal wall for as steel building he was helping put up. The worst part was getting up the courage to unscrew himself.

Yeeeeouches!

 

[Chrono]

So, tribdog, does your girlfriend know what happened, or have you successufully covered it up...so far?

 

[ukmicky]

When i was a teenager i babysat for the next door neighbours, during the evening i had a crafty fag blowing the smoke out through an open window. I heard a noise coming from the bedroom so I placed the cigarette on the edge of a saucer which I placed on the floor. When i finally came back down from the bedroom I found the cigarette had fallen from the saucer and had burnt a long hole into there immaculate beige carpet. Frantic with worry and after two hours of pure panic i finally came up with the perfect life saving remedy, I cut little tuffs of fibre from the edges of the carpet and very carefully glued them into the hole. Perfect repair, it lasted two years and when the damage finally got discovered they were mystified as to what happened.


By the way did the bottle burn to the carpet get discovered? Is tribdog still with us.





tribdog

 

[Astronuc]

tribdog comes and goes.

 

[JamesU]

I believe this is now trib's longest-lasting thread.

 

[franznietzsche]

Necroposting is PF's form of necrophilia.

 

[Pengwuino]

I went to the refridgerator to get myself a drink of soda pop. Unfo rtunately there was no soda. I realized that when I got home from the store I had place the warm 2 liter bottle of Pepsi in the freezer. I opened the freezer and there was the Pepsi, frozen solid. I really wanted a drink so I grabbed my bottle of MAPP Gas and torch tip and proceeded to heat the bottom of the bottle. slowly the Pepsi started to melt. I set the torch down and took a drink, then I set the bottle down on the floor. A few minutes later, when I wanted another drink I reached for the bottle, but it was stuck to the floor. I pulled harder and-with a tearing sound-the bottle came free. I looked down and there on the carpet I saw a round burn mark. I guess the bottom of the bottle was still pretty dang hot when I put it down.
All this happened about ten minutes ago, my girlfriend will be home any second and I have a huge burn in the middle of the carpet. Nice knowing you all. Any suggestions on what I should do?

you have a girlfriend?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Necroposting is PF's form of necrophilia.

Threads should probably autolock after, say, 48 hours with no posts.

 

[franznietzsche]

you have a girlfriend?

Did you seriously just quote and reply to a two and a half year old post? You disgust me you necrophiliac.

Threads should probably autolock after, say, 48 hours with no posts.

Eh, a large number of front page threads in most subforums are older than that. But certainly after a week or two.

 

[Mk]

Threads should probably autolock after, say, 48 hours with no posts.

If that happened, all our threads would be dead except for the erudite young minds contributing to the thread killers thread.

When i was a teenager i babysat for the next door neighbours, during the evening i had a crafty fag blowing the smoke out through an open window.

I didn't quite get this one. You had a multiple personality disorder in which one of your personalities was a crafty chain smoking homosexual?

Necroposting is PFs form of necrophiila

I have nothing against "necroposting," though it does seem a bit annoying at times.

 

[scott1]

The new TKC??

 

[tribdog]

damn, this thread lasted longer than the girlfriend did

 

[DeadWolfe]

So what ever happened with the carpet?

 

[tribdog]

The tv looked better there with the couches on the other side of the room. My girlfriend didn't love the new arrangement, but she was happy that I cared enough to try and rearrange the furniture

 

[JasonRox]

The tv looked better there with the couches on the other side of the room. My girlfriend didn't love the new arrangement, but she was happy that I cared enough to try and rearrange the furniture

And what did you get for being caring... .

 

[tribdog]

15 minutes of peace and quiet

 

[jimmy p]

Heh heh heh

 

[franznietzsche]

damn, this thread lasted longer than the girlfriend did

Wasn't that the same one who drop kicked a laptop and then suggested you play with her christmas present with her instead?

 

[Art]

I just came across this following a link from Bob G's thread.

It's a little late now but a friend of mine had a similar problem some years back. He and his gf had just moved into a new house and she was going to visit her folks for the weekend leaving him with strict instructions not to do any damage while she was gone.

Obviously he immediately organised a party and as happens at these events he ended up with a couple of cigarette burns in their brand new carpet. As it happened they were on the floor in front of the fireplace and so to cover his tracks he lit a coal fire and then took a couple of burning coals and placed them over the cigarette burn marks.

Although it compounded the damage it saved his skin as his gf believed his story that the coals had fallen out of the fire.

 

[Pythagorean]

mine may be better in terms of dumbgarbagetery:

I lit a plastic (glad disposable... THIN plastic) container full of rubbing alcohol on fire in the house. I even went as far as to set it down below a hanging towel. The towel caught on fire and the girlfriend grabbed it to throw it outside, but it came apart in smoldering chunks, all which made their own little unique shaped burn on the carpet.