Helping creating a few good topic sentences

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Discussion Overview

The discussion revolves around crafting effective topic sentences for a paper on geothermal energy, specifically through the perspective of an elderly couple considering a new heating system. Participants explore various aspects of geothermal energy, including its cleanliness, sustainability, and affordability, while also addressing stylistic concerns related to writing and audience engagement.

Discussion Character

  • Exploratory
  • Technical explanation
  • Conceptual clarification
  • Debate/contested
  • Homework-related

Main Points Raised

  • One participant expresses difficulty in creating engaging topic sentences, suggesting that "Geothermal provides clean energy" lacks impact.
  • Another participant questions the feasibility of geothermal energy for the elderly couple, proposing a sentence about the potential lack of access to cost-effective geothermal energy.
  • Some participants discuss the importance of avoiding "to be" verbs and passive voice in writing, suggesting that this may be a requirement from the teacher.
  • There is a suggestion to consider geothermal power from geysers and hot springs as a potential claim, raising questions about its cost-effectiveness compared to heat pumps.
  • A participant humorously attempts to create a more engaging introduction, highlighting the need for creativity in writing while acknowledging the constraints of the assignment.
  • Concerns are raised about the audience's perspective, suggesting that elderly individuals may prioritize reliability, quiet operation, low maintenance, and ease of cleaning over other factors.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

Participants generally agree on the need for more engaging and effective topic sentences, but there is no consensus on the best approach to achieve this. Multiple competing views on the feasibility and presentation of geothermal energy remain unresolved.

Contextual Notes

Participants note limitations related to writing style, including the avoidance of "to be" verbs and passive voice, which may affect the clarity and engagement of the topic sentences. There is also a discussion about the specific audience of elderly individuals and their potential concerns regarding geothermal energy.

Niaboc67
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I know this is mainly a site for scientific discourse. But anyone good at writing English herer? I have this paper coming up and my teacher is extremely specific about word choice, tense(s), "to be" verbs and more of those types of things. So my topic of the paper "Geothermal energy" I must define what it means through the lens of an elderly couple seeking a new heating system. So I have my introduction out of the way, which I think sounds pretty good. But now working towards the body paragraphs. I want to talk about how geothermal power is clean, but I don't know what I could write for a topic sentence other than the plain "Geothermal provides clean energy" the second paragraph topic sentence would be "Geothermal power provides sustainable energy" and finally "Geothermal power provides affordable energy" all three of these sound like they suffer from the same plain and purposeful pose. How could I re-write them to really make them stand out and more effective?

Thank you
 
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Niaboc67 said:
I know this is mainly a site for scientific discourse. But anyone good at writing English herer? I have this paper coming up and my teacher is extremely specific about word choice, tense(s), "to be" verbs and more of those types of things. So my topic of the paper "Geothermal energy" I must define what it means through the lens of an elderly couple seeking a new heating system. So I have my introduction out of the way, which I think sounds pretty good. But now working towards the body paragraphs. I want to talk about how geothermal power is clean, but I don't know what I could write for a topic sentence other than the plain "Geothermal provides clean energy" the second paragraph topic sentence would be "Geothermal power provides sustainable energy" and finally "Geothermal power provides affordable energy" all three of these sound like they suffer from the same plain and purposeful pose. How could I re-write them to really make them stand out and more effective?

Thank you
Does the couple have access to cost effective geothermal energy? Maybe you could write "Unfortunately, we don't have access to cost effective geothermal energy", we could never recoup the cost to install it". This is the case in some areas. Show you really researched it.

http://blogs.scientificamerican.com...4/18/is-a-geothermal-heat-pump-right-for-you/
 
Last edited:
Niaboc67 said:
So my topic of the paper "Geothermal energy" I must define what it means through the lens of an elderly couple seeking a new heating system.
Since you ask about English, I have to say this sentence here is a mess.
 
They do if they used a heat pump installation.
 
Niaboc67 said:
They do if they used a heat pump installation.
Not necessarily, read the article I posted, they would never recoup the cost in their lifetime.You should make the paper factual. Even the figures in that article are optimistic, I had a 9,000 sq foot house and my largest monthly bill was for air conditioning one month for $300, and that was during a record breaking heatwave.
 
Last edited:
What about geothermal power from geysers and hot springs. Not through heat pumps but if power plants were set up. Maybe that should be my claim then? just not sure how to go about it.
 
Niaboc67 said:
What about geothermal power from geysers and hot springs. Not through heat pumps but if power plants were set up. Maybe that should be my claim then? just not sure how to go about it.
Over geysers and hot springs is more cost effective for warming.

I'm just yanking your chain, if it's just a grammar exercise, feasibility isn't important. Interesting to learn about though.
 
Well, back to the formulating part. Any ideas how I could re-word those topic sentences?
 
Niaboc67 said:
Well, back to the formulating part. Any ideas how I could re-word those topic sentences?
"Geothermal power is clean."
"Geothermal power is sustainable."
"Geothermal power is affordable."
 
  • #10
Oh funny... although even that wouldn't be acceptable by the given criteria. I can't use "to be" verbs here
 
  • #11
Niaboc67 said:
Oh funny... although even that wouldn't be acceptable by the given criteria. I can't use "to be" verbs here
No humor intended. It's intended to be readable.

If your teacher has prohibited the verb "to be," that tells me this assignment isn't meant to be expository writing, but something more literary, which makes your choice of subject kinda strange.
 
  • #12
Niaboc67 said:
Oh funny... although even that wouldn't be acceptable by the given criteria. I can't use "to be" verbs here
I think your teacher recommends against using sentence structures such as:
"Clean energy is provided by geothermal power"

Try this,
"In the clash of energy for clean and green as the new mean extreme, geothermal energy reigns supreme."
Well maybe not.

Instead,
'Tired of dealing with dirty energy day in and day out. Are you having to scrub your smoke stack over and over again without getting your energy clean? Are you ashamed of your neighbors whispering and pointing fingers at the state of your energy? Don't you wish there was something you could do?
Well wish no more. You can solve all your energy problems. Your energy will come out spotless, with no more stains as a mark of imperfection. Your neighbors will envy you and wonder how you did it. All you have to say is "Geothermal power."
( Seven out of 10 energy producers recommend geothermal power )"

OK. I tried. Sorry.
 
  • #13
256bits said:
I think your teacher recommends against using sentence structures such as:
"Clean energy is provided by geothermal power"
I see what you mean. It's probably not a prohibition of the verb "to be." It's an avoidance of the passive voice.
 
  • #14
zoobyshoe said:
I see what you mean. It's probably not a prohibition of the verb "to be." It's an avoidance of the passive voice.
I agree on that. Passive tense will lose emphasis along the way.

As an aside, (I should have mentioned) poster stated teacher requested the topic is " for an elderly couple".
I tried to exemplify a writing style for a chosen audience, probably not the best examples but...
The first could be for the motor-head type.
The second could be as an ad for the sleepy late night infomercial viewer.
 
  • #15
It'd be worth finding this book
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Elements_of_Style

maybe your library has it?

Niaboc67 said:
I must define what it means through the lens of an elderly couple seeking a new heating system.
I'll suggest elderly folks would be more concerned with "Is it reliable, quiet, low maintenance and easy to clean ?"
 

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