Here's an extension of a list posted earlier. If anybody can think of

  • #1
193
2
Here's an extension of a list posted earlier. If anybody can think of any additions to the list, please post :D!

Perspectives of the world:
-------------------------------
Optimist – The glass is half-full.
Pessimist – The glass is half-empty.
Existentialist – The glass is.
Fatalist – The water will evaporate.
Futurist – The water is in the wrong half of the glass.
Feminist – All glasses are equal.
Narcissist – Look at me in the water!
Polygamist – The more glasses the merrier.
Nudist – The glass isn’t wearing anything. Why should I?
Baptist – The Lord in His infinite wisdom hast giveth us only half a glass of water for a reason!
Evangelist – The glass must repent.
Atheist – There is no glass.
Egoist – My glass is bigger than yours.
The Obsessive/Compulsive – There’s a smudge on the glass.
The Government – The glass is fuller than if the opposing party were in power.
Opposing Party – It is irrelevant because the present administration has changed the way such volume statistics are collected.
Republican – Hey, who drank half of my glass of water?
Anarchist – Break the glass.
Revolutionist – Dump the glass out and fill it again.
Socialist – Share the glass.
Capitalist – Sell the glass.
Corporatist – That glass is ours, and only ours.
Market Consultant – Your glass needs resizing.
Actuary – Personally, I think you paid too much for the glass.
Attorney – The glass is half-empty since it believes its compensation is never enough.
Psychiatrist – What did your mother say about the glass?
Psychologist – How does the water feel about the glass?
Philosopher – If the glass was in the forest and no one was there to see it, would it be half anything?
Sociologist – I don't know, but it was nice talking about it.
Engineer – The glass is twice as large as its necessary parameters.
Physicist – The cylinder is neither full nor empty. Rather, each half of the cylinder is full, one with a liquid, one with a gas.
Logician – Please define 'glass' more precisely.
Mathematician – I don't know if it's half-full or half-empty, but I can tell you an answer exists!
Combinatorialist – The task of choosing an arbitrary water molecule has been reduced to 2 subcases.
PC User – Let's restart it and maybe it will fill up this time.
Mac User – I swear! Apple invented water…or at least made it much better!
Linux User – I’ll turn the water back into oxygen and hydrogen, then take a glass cutter and cut off the top half of the glass. Finally, I'll recompile the water, then drink it…and eat the glass.
Microsoft – The rest of the water will be in the next release.
Pascal Programmer – Well, what type of water is it?
C Programmer – I drink straight from the tap.
Assembly Programmer – I drink straight from the river.
Multimedia Author – That glass is free; the next one you have to pay for.
Copyrights Protection Fanatics – Somebody drank my water and didn’t pay for it!
Free Software Foundation – The water is Nature’s gift to all mankind!
CIA – What makes you think that’s water?
NSA – We know what it really is.

--------------------------
What do you think?
 

Answers and Replies

  • #2
Evo
Mentor
23,531
3,143


Due to popular request, I have made this post a thread.
 
  • #3
425
0


yup....that's great!
 
  • #4
193
2


oh yay, I'm glad people like this :).
 
  • #5
drizzle
Gold Member
379
57


Thanks Evo, good job. :approve:

NOW, the real question is who do you agree with the most? :biggrin:

Mine is... Well, not on that list... But seriously-- Both are transparent. :biggrin:


How would you classify that?
 
  • #6
425
0


oh yay, I'm glad people like this :).

Really pal, this is one of the best list I have EVER read!!
 
  • #7
FlexGunship
Gold Member
399
8


Why would an atheist disavow the existence of the glass? I'm sure if he (or she) were presented with appropriate proof he could be easily convinced of the existence of said glass!
 
  • #8
425
0


Atheism, in a broad sense, is the rejection of belief in the existence of deities

so, it's used here....in a way...
 
  • #9
FlexGunship
Gold Member
399
8


Atheism, in a broad sense, is the rejection of belief in the existence of deities

so, it's used here....in a way...

Fine, I propose an ammendment.

Atheist - What makes you so sure there is a glass?
 
  • #10
425
0


reminds me of this video


 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • #11
425
0


Fine, I propose an ammendment.

Atheist - What makes you so sure there is a glass?

lol! :rofl:
 
  • #12
FlexGunship
Gold Member
399
8


Deist - There once was a glass but it no longer holds water.
Pantheist - Anything is a glass which can hold water; and anything is water which can be put in a glass.
Deuteronomist - No glass shall exist which is capable of holding more water than it can hold.
Agnostic - I'm pretty sure this is a glass and that could be water... but I'm reserving judgement!
Christian - Looks like water, but could be blood!
 
  • #13
FlexGunship
Gold Member
399
8


Awesome Engineering Manager - I trust your judgement regarding the holding capacity of this glass.
Good Engineering Manager - Are we sure we've optimized the holding capacity of the glass?
Bad Engineering Manager - I don't understand why we have to limit the amount of water the glass holds to the volume of the glass.
Terrible Engineering Manager - The glass doesn't hold water? Ship it. We'll fix it with software.
 
Last edited:
  • #14
425
0


Awesome Engineering Manager - I trust your judgement regarding the holding capacity of this glass.
Good Engineering Manager - Are we sure we've optimized the holding capacity of the glass?
Bad Engineering Manager - I don't understand why we have to limit the amount of water the cup holds to the volume of the glass.
Terrible Engineering Manager - The glass doesn't hold water? Ship it. We'll fix it with software.

haha...these were good
 
  • #15
FlexGunship
Gold Member
399
8


Actuary – Personally, I think you paid too much for the glass.

Hi.. Are you an Actuary or Interested in becoming an Actuary?

We have just started a platform for Actuaries and Actuary Students who can come together and Interact - actuaryclub.com. There are many features like Discussion Forum, Social Community just like facebook - making friends, creating groups and Job Portal will also be made available in a week.

If you visit our facebook page - www.facebook.com/actuaryclub[/url] or our platform - [url]www.actuaryclub.com[/URL], You'll be able to get more detail and We are sure that with the features of easily Interacting with fellow actuaries, you won't be unsatisfied.

We are just 15 Days old and hence, to spread a word about us, we are forced to message you and others. Please forgive if this message has bothered you.. and If it didnt, please be part of our platform and start interacting. Telling your friends about us will be heartily welcomed. actuaryclub.com

We are also on facebook - [url]www.facebook.com/actuaryclub[/url]

Looking forward to see you.. [url]www.actuaryclub.com[/url]

We are just quite new and so following just one post one day motto will be very thankful in order to make actuaryclub.com a treasure of actuarial information only in few days.. Thank you.[/QUOTE]

Not sure if this is considered "on-topic" for this thread; this is a big stretch.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • #16
BobG
Science Advisor
Homework Helper
223
84


Engineer – The glass is twice as large as its necessary parameters

This is wrong.

Correct version:

Engineer - The glass has a factor of safety of 2.

Note: The glass would probably drain faster if you put the hole on the bottom instead of the top.
 
  • #17
jhae2.718
Gold Member
1,170
20


This is wrong.

Correct version:

Engineer - The glass has a factor of safety of 2.

Note: The glass would probably drain faster if you put the hole on the bottom instead of the top.

But would the glass even need an SF of 2? I think it may have been over-engineered. An SF of 1.2, 1.5 max, should do it.

And let's make the glass out of plastic.

Edit: either that or the glass is underutilized w.r.t design capacity.
 
Last edited:
  • #18
BobG
Science Advisor
Homework Helper
223
84


But would the glass even need an SF of 2? I think it may have been over-engineered. An SF of 1.2, 1.5 max, should do it.

And let's make the glass out of plastic.

Edit: either that or the glass is underutilized w.r.t design capacity.

Depends on whether the glass is sitting in a farm field or in the middle of a city. A SF of 1.3 is sufficient to protect farmland. Unfortunately, as was demonstrated by the levees in New Orleans, applying those same safety standards to water restraint systems in a city can have disasterous results.
 

Related Threads on Here's an extension of a list posted earlier. If anybody can think of

Replies
9
Views
1K
Replies
22
Views
5K
  • Last Post
Replies
1
Views
2K
  • Last Post
2
Replies
41
Views
4K
  • Last Post
Replies
4
Views
1K
  • Last Post
Replies
7
Views
831
  • Last Post
Replies
8
Views
2K
Replies
30
Views
5K
Replies
13
Views
3K
  • Last Post
Replies
20
Views
3K
Top