How Cold is It? Share Your Best Line!

[Redbelly98]

"How cold is it?"

Heard this bit on NPR radio today, reminiscent of the old Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon exchanges:

"It's really cold."

"How cold is it?"​

"It's so cold that ... "

... and the idea is to complete the statement. Here are a couple they played on the NPR bit:


"It's so cold that Al Gore is updating his Powerpoint slides."

"It's so cold, the politicians have their hands in their own pockets."


And one I found through Google:

"It's so cold, dogs are sticking to fire hydrants."


So hey, let's see what y'all can come up with on this.

 

[wolram]

It is so cold wee will not even consider going out.

 

[signerror]

It's so cold, the grad students are celebrating their new room-temperature superconductor.

It's so cold, the North Pole is covered in ice.

It's so cold, the nuclear power plants are operating over 50% thermodynamic efficiency.

It's so cold, I took boths forks in the road this morning and walked a mile before I decohered to a single path.

It's so cold, even the snowman got frostbite.

It's so cold, fires are breaking out from stray puddles of liquid air.

It's so cold, all the squirrels died.

 

[turbo]

It's cold that the cows are giving ice-cream. We just have to feed them per Ben and Jerry's specs to get the milk sold.

 

[Ben Niehoff]

Cold? It's been in the upper 80's all week.

 

[Redbelly98]

Cold? It's been in the upper 80's all week.

It's so cold, Ben is giving temperatures in degrees Kelvin!

 

[DaveC426913]

It's so cold, Canadians are starting to switch to winter wear.

 

[mgb_phys]

It's so cold Geordies are wearing 2 T-shirts
It's so cold Britney Spears is wearing underwear.

 

[jtbell]

It's so cold the students here gave up on wearing shorts and flip-flops.

 

[turbo]

It's so cold that my neighbor wears Wellies with his beach-boy shorts when he shovels out his mailbox.

No kidding. This guy is 46 and he seems intent on stressing the crap out of his body. I've got 10 years on him and I've done 'way riskier stuff, so maybe I ought to just shut up.

 

[Ben Niehoff]

It's so cold, Ben is giving temperatures in degrees Kelvin!

Fahrenheit. Yay, southern California! :P

 

[humanino]

It's so cold that electricity got frozen in the wires.
Now go ahead and convince my grandmother otherwise...

 

[wolram]

It is cold even the cold viruses are wearing overcoats.

 

[wolram]

It is cold porn stars come on a stick.

 

[jtbell]

According to David Letterman, it was so cold in Central Park today that he saw a squirrel knitting booties for its nuts.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

It's so cold that a flock of resting geese were frozen into a lake...and then flew away with the lake.

It's so cold that male-only dorms have instituted a don't ask, don't tell policy.

It's so cold that Prestone is selling Helium-4 Antifreeze.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

It's so cold, I took boths forks in the road this morning and walked a mile before I decohered to a single path.

I once temporarily stumped a physics prof in class by asking why I don't diffract when I walk through a doorway very,very slowly.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

http://www.dailypress.com/media/photo/2009-01/44529326.jpg
http://www.dailypress.com/dp-top10.coldjokes.pg.0115,0,680423.photogallery?index=dp-fifthjoke

 

[turbo]

Last night, the town of Van Buren, ME posted a (unofficial, so far) new record low temp of -50 F, breaking the state's previous low of -48 F.

 

[franznietzsche]

Fahrenheit. Yay, southern California! :P

BOOO Southern California.

I'm so sick of summer in November through November.

I'm moving to Minneapolis I think. Give me seasons for the love of god!

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

It's so cold the bird of paradise flew up Ed McMahon's nose. (I never did understand Carson's jokes)

 

[franznietzsche]

It's so cold that even the tauntauns don't make good sleeping bags.

 

[lisab]

It's so cold, Canada geese are flying into jet engines, just to warm up.

 

[Andre]

It's so cold, Canada geese are flying into jet engines, just to warm up.

Cold! If the thermometer had been an inch longer we'd all have frozen to death

Mark Twain

 

[Ivan Seeking]

BOOO Southern California.

I'm so sick of summer in November through November.

...Give me seasons for the love of god!

By the time we left we felt the same way. Been in Oregon 20 years now and I still look forward to the change of the season. The only complaint is that we could use a bit more sun. And I do miss the S Cal beaches.