How do you deal with a misanthrope father?

[LightbulbSun]

perhaps unsurprisingly, you do not seem to have learned anything from all the very perosnal and frank posts here from people with more experience. you are still frustrated that he does not listen to you. try to wise up yourself. but if you do not do so for a long time, do not worry, you are much like the rest of us.

I have learned a lot from the responses here, and I do make a conscious effort at learning everyday to improve myself. Whether that'd be questioning my viewpoints, learning a new subject etc. See the difference between me and my father is that I don't value my viewpoints to the umpteenth degree. I know there's a lot to learn and that I do not know it all, and that's all I'm trying to make my father see. This "humans suck, my opinions are superior" disposition doesn't do any good.

 

[Integral]

The longer a person has thought a certain way, the harder it is to change it. I'm not making some ridiculous claim here. It's textbook psychology. This is the way most people are.

You are probably correct. Though I know that there are other , "old folk" , who can still listen and learn. Beyond that patterned thinking does not have to imply close mindedness. It can be seen a methods of analysis. How do you approach a problem, with the goal of understanding. I have run into individuals of ALL ages who believe that they have a superior understanding / knowledge, it is very difficult for this type to learn anything, since they already know everything.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

It is also often true that a person who has thought a certain way for a long time has learned to do so through life experience. So a particular way of thinking may have served so well, and it may have been reenforced for so long that change cannot be expected as a sudden revelation, no matter how strong the motivation. It may take time to assimilate the information and reconcile the previous beliefs with the new information. And when one factors in ego, it may take even longer to admit what has already be realized.

Also, there may be social implications associated with changing one's pov. For example, if one's entire peer group distinctly identifies itself with something like mocking liberals or conservatives, it may require more than simple facts to motivate a change as this represents a rejection of the philosphy of the peer group; hence a rejection of one's social network. One extreme example would be a KKK member who no longer believes in racist propoganda. Ultimately a rejection of racism is a rejection of the group, which may represent the majority of the person's social life and friends. Another example might be for someone to convert to atheism when they were previously active in a church.

 

[BoredNL]

I am an agnostic who was previously a Christian.. It ain't easy when your family is still Christian. I chose the easy way out, which is simply to act Christian when need be and not tell them. lol (I'd really rather not have a throng of them attempting to save my soul constantly, hah)

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Yes, and it works the other way around as well. In my own experience, and ironically, it is common for some religious converts [for some Christian religions] to reject their old group of friends, and even family. We see this in the extreme with cults.

 

[ank_gl]

humans were the dumbest creatures ever.

that is almost true

 

[Schrodinger's Dog]

that is almost true

Yes he didn't use the present tense, are.

 

[ank_gl]

That was love to him, it was something he didn't have growing up.

different people have different ways of showing love

 

[LightbulbSun]

Yes he didn't use the present tense, are.

My father uses the present tense when saying this.