Bill Foster said:
[tex]\nabla=\hat{\textbf{r}}\frac{\partial}{\partial{r}}+\hat{\theta}\frac{1}{r}\frac{\partial}{\partial{\theta}}+\hat{\phi}\frac{1}{r\sin{\theta}}\frac{\partial}{\partial{\phi}}[/tex]
[tex]\textbf{r}=r\hat{\textbf{r}}+\theta\hat{\theta}+\phi\hat{\phi}[/tex]
[tex]\rho\left(\textbf{x}\right)=\rho\left(r,\theta,\phi\right)[/tex]
Now taking into consideration just the middle term (the one that should cancel out), and ignoring the constants:
[tex]\int_0^{2\pi}\int_0^\pi \left(\textbf{r}\cdot\nabla\right)\rho\left(\textbf{x}\right)r^2\sin\theta d\theta d\phi[/tex]
There are several problems here.
First, it is very important to distinguish [itex]\left(\textbf{r}\cdot\mathbf{\nabla}_{\overline{\textbf{x}}}\right)\rho(\overline{\textbf{x}})|_{\overline{\textbf{x}}=\textbf{x}}[/itex] and [tex]\left(\textbf{r}\cdot\mathbf{\nabla}_{\overline{\textbf{x}}}\right)^2\rho(\overline{\textbf{x}})|_{\overline{\textbf{x}}=\textbf{x}}[/tex]from [itex]\left(\textbf{r}\cdot\nabla\right)\rho\left(\textbf{x}\right)[/itex] and [tex]\left(\textbf{r}\cdot\nabla\right)^2\rho\left(\textbf{x}\right)[/tex]. In the first two, differentiation is done with respect to the dummy variable [itex]\overline{\textbf{x}}[/itex], and so [itex]\textbf{r}[/itex] is treated as a constant vector. In the latter two, [itex]\textbf{r}[/itex] is not treated as a constant vector, and so your results will be quite different.
Second, by definition, [itex]\textbf{r}=r\mathbf{\hat{r}}\neq r\mathbf{\hat{r}}+\theta\mathbf{\hat{\theta}}+\phi\mathbf{\hat{\phi}}[/itex]...the units on your expression don't even make sense... [itex]r[/itex] has unit of distance, while [itex]\theta[/itex] and [itex]\phi[/itex] are angles, with units of radians.
Third, unit vectors in curvilinear coordinates are position dependent. So, for example [itex]\textbf{r}\cdot\textbf{r}'=\left(r\mathbf{\hat{r}}\right)\cdot \left(r'\mathbf{\hat{r}'}\right)=r r' (\mathbf{\hat{r}}\cdot\mathbf{\hat{r}}') \neq rr'[/itex] in general.
Finally, you only require that
[tex]\int_{0}^{\pi} \int_{0}^{2\pi}\left[-\left(\textbf{r}\cdot\mathbf{\nabla}_{\overline{\textbf{x}}}\right)\rho(\overline{\textbf{x}})|_{\overline{\textbf{x}}=\textbf{x}}+\frac{1}{2}\left(\textbf{r}\cdot\mathbf{\nabla}_{\overline{\textbf{x}}}\right)^2 \rho(\overline{\textbf{x}})|_{\overline{\textbf{x}}=\textbf{x}}\right]\sin\theta d\theta d\phi=\frac{2\pi r^2}{3}\nabla_{\overline{\textbf{x}}}^2\rho(\overline{\textbf{x}})|_{\overline{\textbf{x}}=\textbf{x}}[/tex]
This does not necessarily mean that
[tex]\int_{0}^{\pi} \int_{0}^{2\pi}\left(\textbf{r}\cdot\mathbf{\nabla}_{\overline{\textbf{x}}}\right)\rho(\overline{\textbf{x}})|_{\overline{\textbf{x}}=\textbf{x}}\sin\theta d\theta d\phi=0[/tex]
and
[tex]\int_{0}^{\pi} \int_{0}^{2\pi}\frac{1}{2}\left(\textbf{r}\cdot\mathbf{\nabla}_{\overline{\textbf{x}}}\right)^2 \rho(\overline{\textbf{x}})|_{\overline{\textbf{x}}=\textbf{x}}\right]\sin\theta d\theta d\phi=\frac{2\pi r^2}{3}\nabla_{\overline{\textbf{x}}}^2\rho(\overline{\textbf{x}})|_{\overline{\textbf{x}}=\textbf{x}}[/tex]