How moving affects your relationship/family

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In summary, the conversation discusses the impact of job searching and relocation on relationships. The speaker, an undergraduate student, wonders how couples manage when one partner needs to move for their career while the other is in school or working. They question whether couples prioritize finding job opportunities nearby or are willing to move for better career prospects. The concept of the "two-body problem" and "trailing spouse" is mentioned as a common concern among scientists and married couples. Ultimately, the speaker expresses their worry about this issue.
  • #1
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Hi guys,

So I'm still an undergrad so this doesn't quite affect me yet, but it was something i was thinking about: how does the search for jobs and moving around affected your relationship with ur gf/bf/wife/husband/whatever?

When you're single and you want to go to a certain grad school or get a post doc position and its not close to where you're living, you can usually just move and do whatever is better for your career, but for those who were in a relationship where your partner is either in school or working, how did you manage?
Do you just look for grad schools and post doc position near by so you don't have to move or just have a longer commute? (i'm not sure how many post doc positions there are in a given region) Have you decided to move and had your partner just get a new job there or have you had to turn down a better position to avoid this problem?

Maybe I'm just worrying too soon, but it was something i was thinking about.
 
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  • #2
It's a real concern, actually. Scientists even a name for it: "the two-body problem."
 
  • #3
If you are married, it's called "trailing spouse".
 
  • #4
moving is probably better than just standing there.
 
  • #5


I understand your concerns about how moving for career opportunities can affect your relationships and family. It is a common challenge for many scientists, especially those in the early stages of their careers, to balance their personal and professional lives while pursuing their goals. I can offer some insights and potential solutions based on my experience and observations in the scientific community.

Firstly, it is important to have open and honest communication with your partner about your career goals and plans for potential relocations. This can help both of you understand each other's priorities and come up with a plan that works for both of you. It may also be helpful to involve your partner in your decision-making process and consider their needs and preferences.

In terms of finding job opportunities, it is always ideal to have options that are closer to where your partner is currently located. However, in some cases, this may not be possible due to the limited availability of positions in a specific region. In such situations, it may be necessary to consider a longer commute or even temporarily living apart while you pursue your career goals. This can be a challenging situation, but with strong communication and commitment, it is possible to make it work.

Some scientists may also choose to prioritize their partner's career over their own and turn down opportunities that require them to move. This is a personal decision that depends on individual circumstances and priorities. It is important to consider the long-term implications of such a decision and make sure it aligns with your values and goals.

In addition, many universities and research institutions have programs and resources in place to support the families of their employees, including those who are relocating for work. These can include assistance with finding housing, schools for children, and employment opportunities for partners. It is worth exploring these options if you are considering a move for your career.

Overall, it is important to remember that every situation is unique and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. It is important to prioritize your own happiness and career goals, while also considering the needs and feelings of your partner. With open communication, compromise, and support from your institution, it is possible to navigate the challenges of moving for your career while maintaining a strong relationship with your partner and family.
 

1. How does moving to a new location affect a relationship?

Moving to a new location can have both positive and negative effects on a relationship. On one hand, it can bring a sense of excitement and adventure, which can strengthen the bond between partners. However, it can also bring stress and uncertainty, which may lead to conflict and strain on the relationship.

2. Can moving to a new place improve a strained relationship?

Moving to a new place can provide a fresh start for a strained relationship, as it allows for a change of scenery and a break from old routines. However, it is important for both partners to address and work on any underlying issues in the relationship to truly improve it.

3. How does moving affect children in a family?

Moving can be a big change for children, and it can affect them in different ways depending on their age and personality. Some children may feel excited about the new adventure, while others may feel anxious or sad about leaving their familiar surroundings. It is important for parents to communicate with their children and provide support during the transition.

4. Can moving to a new location cause a family to become closer?

While moving can be a stressful experience, it can also bring a family closer together. The shared experience of adapting to a new place and facing challenges together can strengthen the family bond. Additionally, moving to a new location can provide opportunities for new experiences and quality time spent together.

5. How can families adjust to a new location after moving?

Adjusting to a new location after moving can take time. It is important for families to be patient with each other and communicate openly about their feelings and needs. Exploring the new neighborhood, making new friends, and maintaining connections with loved ones from their previous location can also help with the adjustment process.

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