How to refrain from my inherent personality?

[l-1j-cho]

Hello all.
This is l-1j-cho back with how to refrain from series.
Although you might think I am not serious, but I have always seriously contemplated about this problem.

I was a really annoying kid when I was young. However, as I got older, it seems like I have got better. I try to be careful and conscious of my behaviour all the time.

But sometimes, I just lose my conciousness and act like a knob-end. I am never mean to anyone or insult other people, but I am really annoying. Even I can feel myself disturbing others.

Any advice?

 

[IMP]

... I just lose my conciousness and act like a knob-end. I am never mean to anyone or insult other people, but I am really annoying.

How annoying can you be while unconscious?

 

[l-1j-cho]

oh I mean not literally unconcious
but sometimes I act like a sod and I don;t even know why I am doing that

 

[SW VandeCarr]

oh I mean not literally unconcious
but sometimes I act like a sod and I don;t even know why I am doing that

Have you considered working for a bank?

 

[l-1j-cho]

? what's the relevance?
(I am not being sarcastic, I just really don't know)

 

[JaredJames]

For the sum of $100 a day plus expenses I will gladly follow you around and slap you every time you act in such a manner.

Should learn fairly quickly, beat it out of you.

 

[l-1j-cho]

Guys... I am serious...

 

[JaredJames]

Guys... I am serious...

I'm very serious.

You asked how to deal with it, I provided an option for doing so. OK, it may be unreasonable so far as cost goes, but it would certainly work.

Perhaps find someone willing to work cheaper...

 

[nucleargirl]

well, maybe you could think deeply about why you act in the annoying way, once you realize why you do it and address the underlying thinking/problem then it should be easier to stop. Its good that you are trying, and eventually that will pay off.

 

[SW VandeCarr]

? what's the relevance? (I am not being sarcastic, I just really don't know)

I was being sarcastic, but not at your expense. Bank officers, particularly senior management, are the butt of a lot of jokes and scorn in the US anyway. It's not surprising given the damage a number of big banks, lending institutions, and other financial institutions have done to the US and world economies. They are often portrayed as rude, uncaring and dismissive of the millions of people who currently are in foreclosure (in most cases having taken loans in good faith, but having lost their jobs and/or whose home values have collapsed.). I'm somewhat sarcastically suggesting that this kind of perceived rude, annoying and dismissive behavior by banks is encouraged by senior management to get these people off their backs.

The personality traits you described, perhaps unfortunately, can also be assets in other jobs such as with trial lawyers whose job it is to verbally beat up the hapless witnesses for the opposition.

Having said that, you would be a better person, and likely more generally successful, if you behaved in a socially correct way. If it's really something you cannot control, you might consider getting some professional help.

 

[I like Serena]

I believe that awareness of the fact that you may be annoying is the most important and first step!

If you're aware how other people feel about you, you can also adjust your behaviour in a way that let's you act in a more satisfying way to yourself and others.
Actually, this is something you can play with: see how people respond to different ways that you may behave yourself. It can be fun!
And will ultimately lead to easier interaction with people.

 

[l-1j-cho]

I believe that awareness of the fact that you may be annoying is the most important and first step!

If you're aware how other people feel about you, you can also adjust your behaviour in a way that let's you act in a more satisfying way to yourself and others.
Actually, this is something you can play with: see how people respond to different ways that you may behave yourself. I can be fun!
And will ultimately lead to easier interaction with people.

Actually I have experienced other people responding differently as I change mu attitude. The problem is, I can't help my self from losing discretion sometimes. Normally, I am quite and thoughtful, (at least my best friend told me that), but sometimes I drive people to nuts

 

[I like Serena]

Actually I have experienced other people responding differently as I change mu attitude. The problem is, I can't help my self from losing discretion sometimes. Normally, I am quite and thoughtful, (at least my best friend told me that), but sometimes I drive people to nuts

I guess that if you have to be careful all of the time, at some point you'll blow up!
Can't walk on eggs all of the time!
I think it's important that you can be relaxed not only with other people but also with yourself.

I think it's not necessarily bad to blow up, as long as you remain aware of the impression you make.
If people kind of enjoy it, everything is peachy.
If they show anger of disappointment, perhaps an apology is in order. People will (or should) understand.
The important thing imo is not to be too proud to admit to be wrong. Or to be unable to say you're sorry if you hurt someone's feelings.

 

[BobG]

Guys... I am serious...

Perhaps a few forum members are just telling you that you're normal in their own special way. Of course, you should keep in mind that there's a strong possibility that normal members of this forum may not be normal relative to the general normal populace, so their perception of normal may not be normal. In fact, if members of this forum tell you you're normal, there's a good possibility that they mean that you're lying perpendicular to another unconscious person.

(In fact, according to unscientific polls, an incredibly high number of forum members are INTJ's, a personality type known for a strong tendency towards $$\frac{d^3x}{dt^3}$$.)

 

[jobyts]

Spending few minutes alone, at the end of everyday, doing a self feedback may help.

 

[rootX]

If you enjoy yourself and people around you don't run (or avoid you) when they see you, everything is good!

 

[Zryn]

(In fact, according to unscientific polls, an incredibly high number of forum members are INTJ's, a personality type known for a strong tendency towards $$\frac{d^3x}{dt^3}$$.)

No one likes those 3rd derivative types, they ruin everything. Don't be one!

 

[lisab]

Perhaps a few forum members are just telling you that you're normal in their own special way. Of course, you should keep in mind that there's a strong possibility that normal members of this forum may not be normal relative to the general normal populace, so their perception of normal may not be normal. In fact, if members of this forum tell you you're normal, there's a good possibility that they mean that you're lying perpendicular to another unconscious person.

(In fact, according to unscientific polls, an incredibly high number of forum members are INTJ's, a personality type known for a strong tendency towards $$\frac{d^3x}{dt^3}$$.)

Why do they have to be unconscious? Can't alert and oriented people lie normally?

 

[DaveC426913]

You seem to be aware of your annoying behaviour, and are even capable of refraining from it.

Is it deliberate? Do you know from whence the behaviour comes?

For example, I know I make light of situations too often. I know I do it to keep people off-balance. I want to keep people off-balance because it keeps it in an arena I'm more comfortable with than serious discussion.

 

[BobG]

Why do they have to be unconscious? Can't alert and oriented people lie normally?

Depends on their orientation. It's easier to lie if they're normal to the ground. I think people find it harder to lie when they're lying down.

 

[Darken-Sol]

i believe you mean unaware instead of unconscious. the thing is awareness is the key. i was a cave man till i discovered "awareness". try using all the miniscule things that piss you off to better yourself. stoplights and loading screens will then become your islands throughout the day. a moment or two to ask yourself what is bothering you. don't answer your celly immediately, take a few deep breaths and reflect. sooner than you think you'll have resolved all the little things that can add up to a bad mood. we are on the go so much we never really get to hammer out these dings. instead of flippin some one the bird for cutting you off you will realize that was you two weeks ago. it won't take long to see results, just take 5 seconds and be honest with yourself. relax and breathe. do not let any thing stop you from being aware of each breath. work up to 20 breaths, i find waiting in line a good place to practice. when you count breaths you will effectively tune out the world, or you'll lose count.

 

[DaveC426913]

try using all the miniscule things that piss you off to better yourself. stoplights and loading screens will then become your islands throughout the day.

:blink: :blink:
That ... is ... a novel idea...