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I am not so good at being patient

  1. Aug 7, 2009 #1
    I am not so good at being patient.

    I can get frustrated pretty easily when I have to take time for a possibly long-winded and potentially very complex explanation of something that perhaps the person I am talking to is oversimplifying; sometimes, yes, a long explanation is necessary, but it's not the easiest thing to do when you're emotionally wound up.

    I can get frustrated when someone's not being too clear about something and they're not explaining it.

    I am also not so good at dealing with blatant irrationality.

    Now here's the thing: how does one deal with things such as this and, for example, give a person the right amount of pointing-out-precisely-what-is-wrong-with-their-stance and the right amount of, well, patience?
     
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  3. Aug 7, 2009 #2
    Re: Patience

    By not getting married. For instance, tonight I wanted to go see the Phils teach the Marlins how to play baseball, but my wife said we're going to see Turandot. Whence all this blatant irrationality muse I. I pointed-out-precisely-what-is-wrong-with-her-stance but she pointed-out-that-she-had-a-rolling-pin-in-her-hand. Turandot it is, but surely I'll fall asleep by the time they get to the aria.
     
    Last edited: Aug 7, 2009
  4. Aug 7, 2009 #3

    negitron

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    Re: Patience

    I'm a very patient person.
     
  5. Aug 7, 2009 #4

    negitron

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    Re: Patience

    ^%#@# Why won't you answer me!
     
  6. Aug 7, 2009 #5
    Re: Patience

    I was asking a serious question, actually.
     
  7. Aug 7, 2009 #6
    Re: Patience

    I think I see the cause of the problem already. Have you tried avoiding people altogether?
     
    Last edited: Aug 7, 2009
  8. Aug 7, 2009 #7
    Re: Patience

    Doesn't quite work.
     
  9. Aug 7, 2009 #8

    lisab

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    Re: Patience


    Oh wow, we'd not be good coworkers, I'm afraid! See I have the opposite problem, I get frustrated with people who make long, drawn-out explanations of simple or obvious things. But I'm referring to work problems (i.e., explaining physical systems). I get the feeling your question is about explaining emotions, is that right?
     
  10. Aug 7, 2009 #9
    Re: Patience

    Not explaining emotions, exactly. More like managing my own - which are relatively well managed, I think, except for this problem. (It's not as if I'm overtly impatient, as in 'WTF, dude, you must be a total nimrod not to get this' or 'What's keeping you from finishing up, you yutz?' - it's more a sort of grind-my-teeth kind of impatience that tends to come through in little bits and can infrequently result in, er, trading harsh words.)
     
  11. Aug 7, 2009 #10

    Office_Shredder

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    Re: Patience

    My guess is that you care too much. You're so emotionally invested in the outcome of the situation for no legitimate reason (from most people's perspective) that it frustrates you when it doesn't look like it's working how you expected.

    Take two chill pills and call me in the morning
     
  12. Aug 7, 2009 #11
    Re: Patience

    My mom has quite irrational beliefs (religious) so I think I am very good at dealing with at least irrationality. First, I used to argue but now I just nod in agreement - bearing no interest to what she is saying when she brings those irrational beliefs.

    In the long run, I continue to lose my interest in irrational /other people but not the patience.
     
  13. Aug 7, 2009 #12
    Re: Patience

    I think this is one of the reasons why people say that "ignorance is bliss."

    If you become too intelligent and/or knowledgeable then you can't help but start to see all the irrationality in other people's logic.

    You can just ignore it and act like you don't care, and in that way become less bothered by it, but it becomes hard to have respect for "regular people" if their thought process seems light years behind your own.

    I attended an oral prelim examination today and I had a very hard time keeping my mouth shut as the presenter demonstrated his blatant misunderstanding of many core topics he was presenting about. What am I going to do, insult him in front of everyone? I can't do that...I just have to try and hold my tongue. I wish I didn't have these dilemmas.
     
  14. Aug 7, 2009 #13

    chroot

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    Re: Patience

    Often it all comes down to a single decision: do you want to be right, or do you want to have friends?

    - Warren
     
  15. Aug 7, 2009 #14
    Re: Patience

    It depends on the relative importance of the two. I would think.
     
  16. Aug 7, 2009 #15
    Re: Patience

    Do you have to accept every single belief/irrationality of a person to keep him/her as your friend?
     
  17. Aug 7, 2009 #16
    Re: Patience

    I had listen to this professor for four months who believed there is nothing better than Keynesian and all of the American society is flawed.
     
  18. Aug 7, 2009 #17
    Re: Patience

    I wasn't aware there was a dichotomy.
     
  19. Aug 7, 2009 #18
    Re: Patience

    Very true, more I learn more about this community the more I love my pasto, I am still looking for my pasto back someday soon, very soon.
     
  20. Aug 8, 2009 #19

    Math Is Hard

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    Re: Patience

    Patience is difficult in many situations. For what it's worth, I've found it gets easier as you get older.

    I was not clear on what the problem was in your original post. Was it that you find it difficult to give a long but necessary explanation to someone who is having trouble understanding you, or is it that it is difficult to listen to a long and incoherent explanation that someone is trying to give you? Or maybe both?
     
  21. Aug 8, 2009 #20

    berkeman

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    Re: Patience

    Many times, it is. But, if you are a good leader, you can often be right, lead well, and not alienate everybody. It takes tact and skill, but that's a big part of being a good leader.

    One of the most important things is having common, agreed-upon goals. If you all have the same goals, you can pull folks together to work toward them. Having common, high-level goals makes a huge difference in being able to remind people to put small arguments and objections behind them, and focus on what you are all trying to do.

    There are also several common techniques for "dealing with difficult people", which are taught in classes on that subject, and are in many books dealing with the subject. One of the best techniques that I've found effective, is when a difficult person says something aggressive and nonsensical, repeat it back to them with a thoughtful tone. Like you are processing what they said. You can add different inflections into your repeat, depending on the situation. And then you ask an intelligent question about what they said -- a probing question that makes them think (or bail and screetch). This works very well in dealing with difficult people. The main caveat is that if they are truly difficult, they may turn violent at some point. You want to exit before you reach that point....
     
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