What am I misinterpreting in this video? (Self motivation)

[Frigus]

In this video the presenter says that motivation comes after starting the process and achieving the goal but when I start the process and I achieve it I get relax and start doing things slowly,
maybe i am not able to grasp something in this video.
Will i have to gain external motivation on daily basis?
What happens sometime is that something highly motivating comes in front of my eyes due to which I get highly motivated but if I search for motivation knowingly I feel bad about it as it seems materialistic due to which my motivation even goes more down.
So I can't even search for motivation on daily basis.
What can i do to stay motivated without external output?
Thanks.

 

[berkeman]

What can i do to stay motivated without external output?

I didn't watch the video, but I can offer a couple thoughts that have helped me over the years.

During one of my on-campus interviews in undergrad, the interviewer from HP (who I knew pretty well from other interactions with him on projects during undergrad) mentioned that one of the things he looked for in candidates was them being a "goal-oriented achiever". That meant that good candidates in his view should not just have some achievements that they could show, but he wanted to find out what goals they had set along the way in order to reach those achievements. His point was that if you are in the habit of setting goals for yourself, and breaking down the big, hard goals into more do-able smaller steps, then you have a good chance of achieving those big goals.

I realized during that interview that the term "goal-oriented achiever" described me pretty well. I had set some big, hard-to-reach goals for myself in undergrad, and by achieving the intermediate goals along the way, I did very well. That philosophy/habit has stayed with me throughout life, and setting big goals and intermediate goals is definitely a big part of who I am.

Perhaps start thinking along those lines. List a few big goals that you would like to achieve in the next few years, and then list some sub-goals that are each pretty achievable if you stay motivated. Then use the fact that you are achieving the smaller goals along the way toward your bigger goals to help keep you motivated.

Hope that helps.

 

[Evo]

Yes, goal setting and showing that you are consistently achieving your short term goals, then realistic future goals that you can convince them that you are on a path to reach them.

At AT&T where I worked, we were always asked in our reviews to go over goals. Then I was put through a REAL EYE OPENER, I usually brush off these "self improvement" seminars and workshops as being a waste of time.

Instead of trying to tell you to stay focused on goals, this weeklong workshop was "re-training" you to think and reach BEYOND your goals. The idea was that when you set goals, even for successful people that do reach their goals, once the goal is reached, that's it. We were taught to stop self limiting ourselves to firm goals and instead plan to EXCEED those goals. I can't go into the program in details due to copyright, but this actually made sense. I was doing well, achieving my goals. After this program, I started consistently EXCEEDING my goals. Doubled my income the first year with a promotion and significant raise.

 

[Frigus]

I think I got the point.
What I was doing was that I was not exceeding my limits but was just trying to achieve some lazy goals.
I feel pretty motivated if I think about getting better day by day and exceeding the limit.
Thank you berkeman and evo.

 

[Stephen Tashi]

but when I start the process and I achieve it I get relax and start doing things slowly,

Are you talklng about finishing an unpleasant task and being glad it is over? That is a success, but I think the video is talking about the kind of success that causes you enjoy the process you used.

 

[Frigus]

Are you talklng about finishing an unpleasant task and being glad it is over?

It feels to me that my tasks are not either unpleasant or pleasant,their experience lies somewhere between these two
And yes I can say that i feel good that the work is over so maybe the task experience lies nearer to unpleasantness for me.

 

[gleem]

Below is a video of an interview with Jeff Haden the author of the book discussed in your OP. Can you identify with him?

 

[Frigus]

Below is a video of an interview with Jeff Haden the author of the book discussed in your OP. Can you identify with him?

Thanks for sharing this video.
Can you please wait for sometime because it's 1:30 am in my country so i am not able to watch this video.

 

[Bystander]

"One (1, single, individual...) step (stage, event, occurrence...) at (per, @...) a time."

 

[Frigus]

Below is a video of an interview with Jeff Haden the author of the book discussed in your OP. Can you identify with him?

I watched the video and I figured out one the mistake I was doing,
I made approximately 1 Km long list of tasks and after seeing it I got unmotivated.
I will now try to focus on doing small but tough goals.

"One (1, single, individual...) step (stage, event, occurrence...) at (per, @...) a time."

I will also focus on this point also because i switch works a lot,like if i am doing chemistry then i feel like i should do physics and if i start doing physics then it feels i should do assignment first and this thing wastes a lot of time but when i focus on 1 task at a time i get more output.
Thanks.

 

[jbriggs444]

when i focus on 1 task at a time i get more output.

This is a very important observation. I find that it usually takes about 15 minutes to get properly "in the zone" so that one is making good progress on the task at hand. Interruptions and task switching are productivity killers.

 

[etotheipi]

Will i have to gain external motivation on daily basis?
What happens sometime is that something highly motivating comes in front of my eyes due to which I get highly motivated but if I search for motivation knowingly I feel bad about it as it seems materialistic due to which my motivation even goes more down.
So I can't even search for motivation on daily basis.
What can i do to stay motivated without external output?

Sorry I'm late to reply man, I was going to type something up but forgot about it, because I sometimes struggle with this too.

Get a diary/planner, doesn't matter if it's on paper or digital, and be as specific as you can. Like "6 questions from X booklet", or "read and take notes from 20 pages in Y textbook". Attach some times to them, but be flexible. Ideally you want to hit that schedule with like 70-80% success, don't expect to do it all, after all at the end of the day s**t happens, and no-one can stick to it perfectly.

I don't know what your day looks like in terms of rigid commitments like school, but a large part of your day, you can do whatever you want. If you have recreational stuff you enjoy doing then put it on the schedule! You should aim to plan the day you'd have in an ideal world, and then get close to that. Of course, academically, if there are topics that you don't particularly like then you sort of have to bite the bullet, but frankly an ideal day should not be enjoyable all the time, because otherwise you're going to get f**k all done.

But yeah, get a schedule. And don't be daft/naive and try to fill it out all at once, just spend like 3 or 4 minutes in the evening adding stuff for tomorrow. It'll help, promise!

 

[Frigus]

Ideally you want to hit that schedule with like 70-80% success, don't expect to do it all, after all at the end of the day s**t happens, and no-one can stick to it perfectly.

Please don't get angry after this but this ideology doesn't suites me because when I think to give my 100% efforts i put only 65% efforts and In examination hall I am only able to gather 50% of my efforts and in results i get 40% output.
And thanks for the advice friend,this really adds value to my life.
and BTW I scored full in biology but that damn organic chemistry decreased my marks.

 

[etotheipi]

 

[Frigus]

View attachment 272328

Totally relatable.

 

[trees and plants]

I think also courage to achieve the small goals is needed even if you or others are afraid.For example when studying for a specific topic to get tested and you read and solve exercises you must have courage and exceed what other people do or say about how difficult or uninteresting or not important for them is.Even if years have passed by with many failures or mistakes it helps if you systematically do what you do and then you make habits of those specific goals you have whether it is studying, solving problems on specific topics or exercising, or other goals.Also, getting rid of old unnecessary bad habits is important I think.

 

[Frigus]

I think also courage to achieve the small goals is needed even if you or others are afraid.For example when studying for a specific topic to get tested and you read and solve exercises you must have courage and exceed what other people do or say about how difficult or uninteresting or not important for them is.Even if years have passed by with many failures or mistakes it helps if you systematically do what you do and then you make habits of those specific goals you have whether it is studying, solving problems on specific topics or exercising, or other goals.Also, getting rid of old unnecessary bad habits is important I think.

This reasonates with me,
I have realized that motivation is not key to achieve something but self discipline is,it feels to me that motivations are just like tiny bonuses which are given by life at random intervals.

 

[Lnewqban]

... So I can't even search for motivation on daily basis.
What can i do to stay motivated without external output?

I believe that you can't find the effective response to your excellent question from any external source.
It must come from your pesonal and intimate comprehension of your lack of motivation.

Running away from it through discipline seems to work, but that impulse fades away soon, taking you back to the original point.
The conflict only increases, because the frustration associated to the feeling of failure.

In your mind, there is a dissonance between what is and what should be.
You need to deeply understand the nature and sources of both, motivation and lack of it.

 

[Frigus]

but that impulse fades away soon,

I tried to maintain the discipline but I am now not able to do that because more I try to maintain it more the resistance I am feeling.
Now it feels to me that you are right about this and I should self evaluate myself.
Thanks for getting me back on track.

 

[trees and plants]

Personal prioritising also helps and is very important I think. Doing most times I think is more important than thinking about what to do. Execution of goals is way more important than setting them. In a question to answer it a way is to list the possible solutions(options), evaluate the options choose one and try it, if it does not answer then evaluate the rest, choose another option, try it and continue like this until you find the right solution. Finding the possible solutions is also important.

 

[phinds]

Execution of goals is way more important than setting them.

I totally disagree. Does it not occur to you that one can set goals that do not actually serve ones needs, if the goals are not carefully thought through and actually oriented to what one really wants?

The best example of that that I can think of right off hand is the person who wants to be liked and decides that the way to do that is to get rich. He sets the goal of getting rich and achieves that goal through careful execution but nobody likes him because he never did anything to be likeable.

SO ... excellent execution of his goal but a terrible result because he didn't set the right goal.

 

[trees and plants]

I totally disagree. Does it not occur to you that one can set goals that do not actually serve ones needs, if the goals are not carefully thought through and actually oriented to what one really wants?

The best example of that that I can think of right off hand is the person who wants to be liked and decides that the way to do that is to get rich. He sets the goal of getting rich and achieves that goal through careful execution but nobody likes him because he never did anything to be likeable.

SO ... excellent execution of his goal but a terrible result because he didn't set the right goal.

Of course what goals someone sets is very important. If he sets egotistical goals and sinful goals and achieves them,he gets a sinful result.But also on questions is about the same because a question is like a goal, someone tries to reach the end which is finding the answer to the question. But not all questions on a topic are of the same importance or of the same interest.But if someone sets the right goals then execution is I think the more difficult part and the more quantity and quality of the effort the more difficult it is, because the person executing the goals perhaps will find difficulties continuing and persisting on his goals at least until they become habits where automation helps way more.Not all people are at the same level of abilities but it is not helpful if the person thinks he has no ability at all, if he actually has some ability. With the ability he is given he is to achieve his goals. It is not shame to have lower ability in something than many other people. Perhaps some people think it is, but actually it is not.

 

[phinds]

It is not shame to have lower ability in something than many other people. Perhaps some people think it is, but actually it is not.

I happen to agree w/ you but your statement is a value judgement, an opinion, NOT a statement of fact as you have stated it to be.

Nice to see you have FINALLY learned to put a space between sentences (some of the time at least)

 

[trees and plants]

I happen to agree w/ you but your statement is a value judgement, an opinion, NOT a statement of fact as you have stated it to be.

Nice to see you have FINALLY learned to put a space between sentences (some of the time at least)

Well, if you look at the definition of shame I think it is correct what I am saying. Shame should occur when someone has done or does sinful things or to prevent them from being done. If something is not sinful shame is not needed. Anyway, forming good habits and leaving the bad ones is very important for automation and effectiveness.

 

[phinds]

Well, if you look at the definition of shame I think it is correct what I am saying.

Total non-sequitur. Shame is ALSO a value judgement and your using it as an argument simply makes my point that you are stating as fact that which is NOT fact but opinion / value judgement. Do you think all of your opinions are facts?

 

[trees and plants]

Total non-sequitur. Shame is ALSO a value judgement and your using it as an argument simply makes my point that you are stating as fact that which is NOT fact but opinion / value judgement. Do you think all of your opinions are facts?

According to you definition what I said is wrong and according to mine it is correct. Of course not all of my opinions are facts. I am not perfect when making statements. Making mistakes when forming statements is part of the learning process.

 

[trees and plants]

I think that someone does not feel shame about his inferior ability but perhaps he has problem with his inferiority. The feeling he has about it is not shame, it is a bad feeling about inferiority.

 

[phinds]

According to you definition what I said is wrong and according to mine it is correct.

You are completely ignoring my original statement, regarding the following:

It is not shame to have lower ability in something than many other people. Perhaps some people think it is, but actually it is not.

I stated, and I state again, your belief that "it is not a matter of shame to have lower ability" is something I agree with, BUT ... those are statements of our beliefs, NOT statements of fact. You believe it and I believe it, but that does not make it true. Can you just stick to addressing THAT issue? It is not a matter of definitions.

If you cannot distinguish between opinion and fact, you are going to have a TERRIBLE time with science.

 

[trees and plants]

You are completely ignoring my original statement, regarding the following:
I stated, and I state again, your belief that "it is not a matter of shame to have lower ability" is something I agree with, BUT ... those are statements of our beliefs, NOT statements of fact. You believe it and I believe it, but that does not make it true. Can you just stick to addressing THAT issue? It is not a matter of definitions.

If you cannot distinguish between opinion and fact, you are going to have a TERRIBLE time with science.

In science an opinion and its proof should not be in contrast with what is already proved or stated to be correct I think. The definition I have of shame is in accordance with reality I think and humans' behaviour.

 

[phinds]

In science an opinion and its proof should not be in contrast with what is already proved or stated to be correct I think. The definition I have of shame is in accordance with reality I think and humans' behaviour.

And AGAIN, that has nothing to do with addressing your original statement which is NOT about the definition of shame and but about whether or not someone SHOULD have shame in a particular situation. "Should" is opinion, not fact.

I can see now why so many people on this forum find you annoying and some think you are AI. You just spew word salad and don't actually address other people's statements.

 

[jbriggs444]

The definition I have of shame is in accordance with reality

Definitions, by definition, are definitions. They are human constructs, not observations about reality.

In the words of the immortal Humpty Dumpty, "when I use a word, it means just what I choose it to mean -- neither more nor less".

 

[Frigus]

I tried to self evaluate myself and I am not very clear about my goals,i am not able to find a solid reason for working hard.
Should i have a clear goal?
Whenever i try to think about goals i start having existential crisis and i can't get to any point because of the same reason that we are going to die.

 

[phinds]

Whenever i try to think about goals i start having existential crisis and i can't get to any point because of the same reason that we are going to die.

Of course we are all going to die. The question is, do you want to have a happy and productive life while you are alive. I suggest you study Maslow's "Hierarchy of Needs" and use that as a basis for thinking about what you want to do with your life going forward.

 

[Frigus]

Of course we are all going to die. The question is, do you want to have a happy and productive life while you are alive. I suggest you study Maslow's "Hierarchy of Needs" and use that as a basis for thinking about what you want to do with your life going forward.

Thanks for sharing this phinds,
It feels to me that this will add value to my life but I also feel that it will not long last because whenever i see something new i get excited and all the bad thoughts get away from my mind but as time passes i start getting same bad thoughts again.
How can i overcome this problem?
Thanks again.

 

[trees and plants]

I tried to self evaluate myself and I am not very clear about my goals,i am not able to find a solid reason for working hard.
Should i have a clear goal?
Whenever i try to think about goals i start having existential crisis and i can't get to any point because of the same reason that we are going to die.

Perhaps it is better to solve the problem of death, which is a spirituality topic. But if i say something else about it, it is not bad , but i think i am not allowed to say things like that in physics forums. Or am i?

But doing physics and math is not bad. Or learning languages or doing sports.