Is it a wise decision to move out?

[AJKing]

Hey PF,

I'm 19 and I live at home. This fall I will be studying first year Engineering at a University down the street.

It's not cheap and I certainly need to be employed, as well as, take out a loan to subsidize the expense. Initially, this is all the reason in the world to stay at home.

However, I can't concentrate here. My family is great but our communal lifestyle is less than preferable. I don't want to get into details, but let's just say I've not had a friend over in the past year or so, it's gotten so bad.

Given that fact and the fact that I'm currently dating a great girl (who I'll likely never get to bring over either (and could potentially lose for that reason)), is it really worth it to live at home? Psychologically? Financially? Academically?

 

[Clever-Name]

Financially yes. But it seems Psychologically no. Academically who says you have to study at home. Universities have libraries and study spaces for a reason, use them. You need to weigh your options carefully. If moving out is going to put you in crippling debt and ultimately lead to you needing to drop out of school anyway then is it really necessary? Are you going to suffer that much being at home that you won't be able to focus at all? (remember there are other places you can study).

If I were going to a University in the same city as my parents I would 100% want to live at home. However I don't have a crazy family.

 

[AJKing]

. . . Universities have libraries and study spaces for a reason, use them. . .

I really do need to start taking advantage of this.
Thanks a lot for your input.

 

[AlephZero]

From your post, you don't seem to buy into the idea of living with your extended family for the rest of your life. (Few people do, given a free choice).

Sure, taking a leap into the unknown might seem a bit scary, but going to university isn't just about learning your coursework, it's about learning how to live. I would say leave - it's unlikely you will regret t.

 

[turbo]

I would have loved to be able to live at home during engineering school. That was not an option, so I had to make do. At least, I got to break some HS romantic entanglements...

If you can arrange to make your own space and times to study (and if your family will respect those) you might be better off to stay at home. Good luck, no matter what you choose.

 

[Choppy]

You should fully consider what it would be like if you move out. Most students have room mates and they can be more of a pain and family sometimes. I've lived with people who peed on the floor (not just a little dribble either), people who didn't clean, who smoked, who partied a lot more that I ever wanted to, who cranked up their stereos, etc. Or even if you managed to find your own place, you will take on a lot of responsibilities (paying utilities, cleaning, cooking, laundry house maintenance, insurance, etc.)

So in addition to rent, your own place may not be the shangri-la you're imagining.

 

[denks]

To present it from the other end, the wife and I are moving back in with her parents while I finish my study to try to reduce the external pressures (namely bills - so I don't need to get a second job). I do almost all my study in the library in breaks between class, this way I can plan my exact study timetable and not get any external interferences at home or otherwise. Being away from home costs a lot of money, I have never lived on a campus so do not know what it is like there but I am guessing it isn't cheap either. As mentioned you also get other distractions that you won't have at home. Personally I feel unless your family situation dictates it (not talking about being loud or the such, but tough family situations or living far away from study) I would recommend staying at home.

If you are set on moving out get a job and see how your marks track. If you are home it is just a matter of dropping the job if your marks suffer. University study is a) harder and b) requires more self motivation - unlike school, lecturers do not care whether you attend class or not or pass or fail and it is very easy to get hung up on making a bit of extra overtime for that iPad or spending extra time with the gf and hoping to catch the study up later. So you can't base what work / study load you can handle based upon what happened in high school as it is an entirely different experience. Spend a few weeks in first semester and see how your study load goes. Then get a job and see how it goes. If all goes well then move out semester 2 knowing exactly what you are getting into rather than hoping.

 

[thegreenlaser]

This may or may not apply to you, but if you have issues with your family, moving out won't magically solve things. You're much better off if you can try to sort out your differences with them, especially in a situation where doing that could ease a lot of financial stress. If you've got a sour relationship with your family, it's not likely to go away when you move out, it just may not be as in your face as it is now. I think moving out because you can't stand your family is something to be avoided in most cases (obviously not cases of abuse or when you've repeatedly tried to fix the relationship). Again, not saying this necessarily applies to you, but I would advise against moving out on bad terms, if at all possible.

 

[AJKing]

Hey everyone, I just wanted to say that you've all provided me with some of the most level-headed advice I've ever heard on the matter.

I'll stay put and spend more time in libraries for now. That seems to be the best decision.

Thank you again.

 

[mege]

If it really is that bad at home, perhaps plan to move out within a year or so. Forcing the issue, esspecially if you're economically unstable, could be disasterous. If you start saving now and plan on moving out later, you can save yourself the stress of 2 major life changes all at once. Besides, after a year of university, you may find that you don't want to move out on your own!

 

[flyingpig]

Universities have libraries and study spaces for a reason, use them.

Yes and people are very loud too.

OP sounds like me, except your life is better than mine because you have a girlfriend and friends.

What about living in the dorms?

 

[AJKing]

What about living in the dorms?

The dorms are equally as close to the University as my parents house. Not to mention $600 a month, which is easily $200 more than the average rent in the area (meals not included).

If there's a financially unsound decision, it's that one.
But that was my first idea as well. It's a shame it's so expensive.

 

[Redsummers]

Have you thought about asking your friends to move out with you? Maybe some of them have been also considering it (just for independence freedom, which is something anybody would appreciate, even if it's easy for them to live with their own family).

Dividing the rent between different people is always good. I, for instance, share an apartment and I pay about $240/month + food.

 

[ZenOne]

Woah--I would classify engineering (at school) as a full-time job. If you are able to stay home--do it.

Like everyone said--study at the library--IMO of course.