Know of any Funny Physics Jokes for Shirts?

[digipony]

Does anyone know of any good Physics jokes/comics that would be good for a physics group's tshirts and care to share? It's ok if they have a sexual innuendo, but these are for an University organization, so if it has a dirty overtone, it has to be subtle/decent. (To give you some sense of what is deemed alright, one of the Chem shirts that got approved was a picture of the periodic table below which said "Chemists do it on the table. Periodically" ). We can't use Xkcd comics or any other copyright protected comics/images.

Thanks guys and bring on the nerdy physics jokes!

 

[Simon Bridge]

Jokes short enough to fit on a t-shirt tend to be on the droll-pun kind... stuff like

W=Fd
F=ma
therefore
Work is mad

 

[Charmar]

"If I was walking away from you this shirt would be more red"

 

[Yosty22]

I have a shirt that says: ''Heisenberg might have been here'' I kind of enjoy that one.

 

[Simon Bridge]

Things to write on t-shirts"

"No charge for neutrons"

"Elementary particles are the dreams that stuff is made of"

"No fission chips please.
(They give me atomic ache.)"

"Observer"

"CAUTION:
Contents warps the space around it"

 

[jfgobin]

"I am a string theory physicist, I crave for ... BRAAAAAANES"

 

[Ibix]

You're collapsing my wavefunction!

A t-shirt that's blue on the front and red on the back.

Physicists do it in a box...and don't at the same time.

Two designs, one for students that say 'Travelling twin' and one for professors that says 'Stay-at-home twin'.

I might get that last pair made for me and my three-year-old...

 

[flatmaster]

I always thought it would be neat to list out all of the specs on a person as if they were some machine. Sort of a blend of many sciences, but it all ties into physics.

Contents: One Human

Duty cycle: 8 hrs / 24 hrs
EMF Detection range: 450 - 700 nanometers
Power consumption: 2,000 KCal/day (96 Watts)
Max power output: 700 Watts (1 hp)
Information capacity: 2 petaBytes
Major constituents: $% water, ... Elemental composition:$% carbon, $% hydrogen,$% oxygen.
Other considerations: Likes sexThat last one is for your innuendo

 

[jfgobin]

"Quantum physiscts do it entangled. And randomly."
"I looked for the Higgs Bosom" (on the back "... and still can't spell")
"Statistical physicists like it in group" (on the back "... but no Lie please")
"You may be looking at the future Master of the World" (on the back "... the plans for my evil lair are in my other pants")

And if you don't mind some interfaculty war: "Physics: because I am too smart to be an engineer and too fun to be a mathematician"

 

[Jim Kata]

physics gives me a hadron

 

[jfgobin]

physics gives me a hadron

I just realized that if you apply that to the LHC ... no, that doesn't sound right :-)

 

[PhysicsGente]

"Certified quantum mechanic" with a wrench right below.

 

[Diaby2AFC]

"Has any seen my massive bosons?"

"I probe in the name of Science"

 

[Hercuflea]

"F = a*p"

"Physics majors - the quarkiest kids on campus."

 

[Fizic]

1. The classic.
Why did the physics major cross the road?

He overslept because he was studying physics really late.

2. Another classic
The physics major goes up to the math major and says "we are both studying pretty difficult material."

3. A third classic
How many physics majors does it take to write a compare and contrast paper on Sub-Saharan economies?

We can't know for certain, because the answer is really dependent on how much the physics major knows about Sub-Saharan economics. I'd say even most economists don't know a lot about that, nevermind the physicists. But, given ample time and resources, I'd say it would only take a single physics major to write that sort of paper. Sure, it might take him a little longer than our economist from before, but he'd get it done all right. I myself sincerely hope that I never have to write such a paper, because my academic interests lie almost entirely outside the realm of humanities... or is economics a social science? Ah, yes, I just checked and it is indeed a social science. Anyways, it would only take one physics major to write it. Probably. I honestly don't know.