Know of any Funny Physics Jokes for Shirts?

In summary, jokes for physics t-shirts are needed, but they should be on the droll-pun kind and not sexual in nature.
  • #1
Does anyone know of any good Physics jokes/comics that would be good for a physics group's tshirts and care to share? It's ok if they have a sexual innuendo, but these are for an University organization, so if it has a dirty overtone, it has to be subtle/decent. (To give you some sense of what is deemed alright, one of the Chem shirts that got approved was a picture of the periodic table below which said "Chemists do it on the table. Periodically" ). We can't use Xkcd comics or any other copyright protected comics/images.

Thanks guys and bring on the nerdy physics jokes!
Physics news on
  • #2
Jokes short enough to fit on a t-shirt tend to be on the droll-pun kind... stuff like

Work is mad
  • #3
"If I was walking away from you this shirt would be more red"
  • #4
I have a shirt that says: ''Heisenberg might have been here'' I kind of enjoy that one.
  • #5
Things to write on t-shirts"

"No charge for neutrons"

"Elementary particles are the dreams that stuff is made of"

"No fission chips please.
(They give me atomic ache.)"


Contents warps the space around it"
  • #6
"I am a string theory physicist, I crave for ... BRAAAAAANES"
  • #7
You're collapsing my wavefunction!

A t-shirt that's blue on the front and red on the back.

Physicists do it in a box...and don't at the same time.

Two designs, one for students that say 'Travelling twin' and one for professors that says 'Stay-at-home twin'.

I might get that last pair made for me and my three-year-old...
  • #8
I always thought it would be neat to list out all of the specs on a person as if they were some machine. Sort of a blend of many sciences, but it all ties into physics.

Contents: One Human

Duty cycle: 8 hrs / 24 hrs
EMF Detection range: 450 - 700 nanometers
Power consumption: 2,000 KCal/day (96 Watts)
Max power output: 700 Watts (1 hp)
Information capacity: 2 petaBytes
Major constituents: ##% water, ...
Elemental composition: ##% carbon, ##% hydrogen, ##% oxygen.
Other considerations: Likes sexThat last one is for your innuendo
  • #9
"Quantum physiscts do it entangled. And randomly."
"I looked for the Higgs Bosom" (on the back "... and still can't spell")
"Statistical physicists like it in group" (on the back "... but no Lie please")
"You may be looking at the future Master of the World" (on the back "... the plans for my evil lair are in my other pants")

And if you don't mind some interfaculty war: "Physics: because I am too smart to be an engineer and too fun to be a mathematician"
  • #10
physics gives me a hadron
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  • #11
Jim Kata said:
physics gives me a hadron

I just realized that if you apply that to the LHC ... no, that doesn't sound right :-)
  • #12
"Certified quantum mechanic" with a wrench right below.
  • #13
"Has any seen my massive bosons?"

"I probe in the name of Science"
  • #14
"F = a*p"

"Physics majors - the quarkiest kids on campus."
  • #15
1. The classic.
Why did the physics major cross the road?

He overslept because he was studying physics really late.

2. Another classic
The physics major goes up to the math major and says "we are both studying pretty difficult material."

3. A third classic
How many physics majors does it take to write a compare and contrast paper on Sub-Saharan economies?

We can't know for certain, because the answer is really dependent on how much the physics major knows about Sub-Saharan economics. I'd say even most economists don't know a lot about that, nevermind the physicists. But, given ample time and resources, I'd say it would only take a single physics major to write that sort of paper. Sure, it might take him a little longer than our economist from before, but he'd get it done all right. I myself sincerely hope that I never have to write such a paper, because my academic interests lie almost entirely outside the realm of humanities... or is economics a social science? Ah, yes, I just checked and it is indeed a social science. Anyways, it would only take one physics major to write it. Probably. I honestly don't know.

Related to Know of any Funny Physics Jokes for Shirts?

1. Do you have any funny physics jokes for shirts?

Yes, I have a few physics jokes that would be perfect for shirts! Here are some examples:

  • "I'm so attractive, even my electrons are drawn to me."
  • "Why was the physics book sad? Because it had too many problems."
  • "I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down."

2. Can you share some physics puns for shirts?

Of course! Here are a few puns that would make great shirt designs:

  • "I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving energy."
  • "Why was the electricity so nervous? Because it didn't know which conductor to use."
  • "What did the physicist say when he found a dead cat? Schrödinger's cat is no more!"

3. Are there any physics jokes that non-scientists would understand?

Absolutely! Here are a few jokes that anyone can appreciate:

  • "Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip? To get to the same side."
  • "Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!"
  • "How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!"

4. Can you recommend some physics jokes for a physics club shirt?

Sure, here are some jokes that would be perfect for a physics club shirt:

  • "We have a lot of potential, but we're still a work in progress."
  • "We're all about that base, 'bout that base, no treble."
  • "We may not be perfect, but our calculations are close enough."

5. Are there any physics jokes that are appropriate for all ages?

Yes, there are plenty of clean and family-friendly physics jokes. Here are a few examples:

  • "What did one magnet say to the other? I find you very attractive."
  • "Why do physicists enjoy watching fireworks? Because they love to study matter in motion!"
  • "What do you call a snake that works for the government? A civil serpent."

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