Leaving Physics PhD: Overwhelmed, Low Grades, No Time to Study

[Student_at_CUNY]

I will be leaving the physics PHD at the end of this semester. Not by choice, I mean I could continue, the dept. has no problem I just feel I am too overwhelmed to learn anything useful or to bring my GPA up. I took 2 classes this semester Mathematics Methods Of Physics and Analytical Dynamics. I did OK on the homework’s not stellar but at my lowest was 65 and got more than a few 100’s in analytical Dynamics. After taking the Math final I knew how to answer every question so I know I did well but on dynamics I was very confused and very upset and left half of it blank I just choked and froze. I informed the professor that I choked but I do not know if that will help.
I know if I lived on campus that I would get A’s in all my physics I am not dumb but starting to feel like a fool for wasting my time. I travel from Staten Island to the Graduate Center 2 days a week with a cost of at least 3 hours of time. I work the other 3 days to earn health insurance and do everything under the sun to get money so I have no time to study/work on homework. I do OK but I always rushing through it so when I did have time to slow down I always got a 100.
I am truly against people trying to get a Doctorate while working 2 jobs. I am just overwhelmed and with my father giving birth to triplets who will be in the hospital till January I do not have any time even to just relax. I need to work to get money since I am not funded due to the fact I do not have a masters degree. I can get funded after I take first exam but I have no time to study for school much less that exam. At 28 I do not think unless I am funded and with my grades it will be almost impossible to get into another program. I have C Quantum Mechanics, B Electromagnetic Theory, and expect to do B’ish on Math Methods and god knows about Dynamics probably around a C or C+ but with a curve I could get a B/B-. I truly love physics and gave up a good career in Computers to follow my childhood passion but without the funding it just too hard for me to do it on my own.

This is goodbye for now, I may continue if I get B’s in both classes but I do not know how long before I have a nervous breakdown than I will have no choice but to leave. Just so mad cause I could have had a shot at a career in physics now it just feels like it too far out of my reach. Does anyone know any schools that would accept someone with such low graduate level grades?.

 

[Maxwell]

Ack, I'm sorry to hear this, man. I remember your post from a few months ago. Did you ever consider just moving closer to the city and getting a more laid back job that's close to your school -- just until you get your first exam done and get funded?

I really don't think you should give up your dream. Especially since you're close to getting funded. Have you spoken with your professors/advisor about your situation? Perhaps they might be able to give you some new ideas that will help you succeed in the program.

Good luck, man.

 

[Student_at_CUNY]

Yes but I could not do it full time and doing a PHD less than part time got me to fail a class even though i aced most of the homeworks. O well I am now taking classes towards my masters in Computers at night. It is going well and I can now go back to work full time so I am no longer struggling for my next meal and no more bounced checks =).

 

[Bimbar]

Well I am not yet as old as you,
and I never love physics, or anger with it even when it tries to sickens me by its complexities, I guess I just don't know or want to know about it, that's all !
You wanted to leave but you can't at the moment, something like that
But Maxell's suggestions sound good with what you are hoping.
Maxell, man! you rock!