Maybe this will help. Both real and virtual particles carry the force. When you turn on a laser, a light bulb, or your cell phone's antenna, you create real photons that stream out. These photons will eventually hit a mirror, the wall, or a receiving antenna and will exert a force on whatever it hits. You could say the light source exerted a force on the distant object and the force was carried by real photons. Real photons are created whenever an electromagnetic system radiates. But what if we have perfectly static electromagnetic fields (which is actually much rarer than you think)? Static fields don't radiate and therefore don't emit real photons, but we still observe experimentally that one object can exert a force on another object through a static fields. In the world of quantum field theory, everything is described by creation, destruction, and exchange of quanta (particles), so if there are no real photons to carry the force, the force must be carried by virtual photons. So virtual particles are more of a special limiting case where fields become static. But don't think of virtual particles as invisible balls being emitted and absorbed, but rather as just quantized pieces of a whole field.