While on vacation in Aruba, with prevailing offshore steady winds, the opportunity to take lessons in kite boarding presented itself. After watching the tourists and locals windsurf, I decided that those barely skimming the water on wind surf boards looked lame, I went for kite boarding lessons instead, knowing it would be a "calculated gamble" to to a lung issue and the constricting full vests you are required to wear.
The first two hours you learn kite basics/inflating, line rigging, harness setup (my nemesis), and kite control 10 o'clock to noon to 2 o'clock and back again, getting a feel for a small kite first, then the real one used on the water. I knew right away laying back in the water that when the kite began pulling with over 150 foot pounds of force that I would be unable to expand my lungs against the vest and compression on it from the kite pulling so hard (lung damage issue). See video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vV2iJ8TU7ws&feature=related", if you look close when the boarders fly past you will see that they use a small waist harness, whereas while learning you wear a full vest, which puts substantially more compression pressure on your ribcage. I used to rock climb as a kid, and if I used a rock climbing swami belt I would be fine. If I had a small waist harness that would have worked well too, I did not have the luxury as it wasn't allowed by the instructors, so I was stuck with the life robbing vest, nice...
Fast forward to takeoff attempts, I stayed up for a few seconds each attempt, medium offshore wind (10 - 20 kts), I was gradually being pulled offshore at about a 40 degree angle, each time when I wiped out I was able to get less and less air. Finally after a few attempts I could not catch my breath. The instructor said to cut the kite loose which I did, by this time I was almost but not quite in a panic. I was having trouble quick releasing the stupid vest, keeping me short of breath was pissed and scared at the same time. Finally, the instructor help cut me loose from it.
I grabbed the kite board and used it for support as I made my way to shore, gasping to breathe. The instructor heard my raspy breathing. She did not realize I was in as bad a state as I was even though I told her if pulled hard by the kite could cause me to lose the ability to get enough oxygen. The stupid full vest put the nail in the coffin, so to speak.
I knew all of this going into the lessons, and may have pushed the envelope, the small harness probably would have kept me out of trouble and I am told that once you become proficient many ride without a harness. I may try again some time on vacation, but with different waist gear to attach to the kite. We have wind near where I live but only one day in ten or so is offshore and good for kite boarding so, it is not a mecca as it is in Aruba.
Rhody... who almost became "Kite Board Kill", lol
PS. How not to kitesurf
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mI1VEdm12nc". This is a bit scary, but he appears unscathed at the end. I never got into this predicament, glad I didn't.
You're English is charming. I'm super glad you are here.
Those guys are really good. 
I'm also a big fan of ice hockey
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