Mistakes I make when Trying to Talk to People

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Discussion Overview

The discussion revolves around the challenges of communicating with others, particularly when interests and understanding differ significantly. Participants share personal experiences of feeling misunderstood or isolated in conversations, exploring the dynamics of social interactions and the barriers posed by differing levels of knowledge or interest.

Discussion Character

  • Exploratory
  • Debate/contested
  • Conceptual clarification

Main Points Raised

  • Some participants express frustration at their tendency to discuss topics that others do not understand, leading to feelings of loneliness.
  • Others share experiences of trying to explain complex subjects to those who lack interest or comprehension, resulting in ineffective communication.
  • A participant suggests that language barriers, including the use of technical jargon, may contribute to misunderstandings.
  • Some participants note that their interests often differ from those of their peers, complicating conversations.
  • There are mentions of adapting conversation styles based on the audience, with some participants indicating a shift in topics depending on the social context.
  • One participant humorously suggests that physical gestures, like a hair flip, might be a more effective form of communication than words.
  • Concerns are raised about the difficulty of finding common interests with the majority of people, leading to feelings of isolation.
  • Several participants discuss the importance of connecting with like-minded individuals, suggesting that finding a small percentage of people with shared interests could alleviate some frustrations.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

Participants generally agree on the challenges of communication when interests and understanding diverge. However, there is no consensus on how to effectively navigate these situations or whether finding common interests is feasible.

Contextual Notes

Participants express varying levels of confidence in their communication abilities, with some noting language difficulties and others reflecting on the complexity of their interests. The discussion highlights the nuanced nature of social interactions and the subjective experience of feeling understood or misunderstood.

Who May Find This Useful

This discussion may be of interest to individuals exploring social communication challenges, particularly those who feel isolated due to differing interests or levels of understanding in conversations.

Lisa!
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I always promise myself not to confuse people by briging up the subjects that they have no idea about them but I do it again!:shy: So I have to explain a lot and at the end I feel like I was talking to the wall or even worse!(at least walls don't comment on what you say) And well after that I even feel lonelier than when I'm alone and have no one to talk!:frown:
 
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Lisa! said:
I always promise myself not to confuse people by briging up the subjects that they have no idea about them but I do it again!:shy: So I have to explain a lot and at the end I feel like I was talking to the wall or even worse!(at least walls don't comment on what you say) And well after that I even feel lonelier than when I'm alone and have no one to talk!:frown:

I'm confused... I have no idea what you're talking about. Would you explain? I may or may not comment on your reply of course.

Regards,

The Wall

:wink:
 
Orefa said:
I'm confused... I have no idea what you're talking about. Would you explain? I may or may not comment on your reply of course.

Regards,

The Wall

:wink:
Such a well thought out, clear, concise post. No chance for confusion.

Lisa!, your posts should be more like Orefa's! :smile:

(Okay, I have no idea what this topic is about and just figured complimenting someone on their post was the safest action to take)
 
I think I know what you are talking about.

I often find that someone will bring up something that they don't really understand and I will have some amount of understanding myself. So I start trying to explain it to them somewhat and quickly find that they really aren't getting much of what I am saying and aren't very interested to hear any more.
 
Dont be sad. I thinks that cool. At least you are unique !
 
Yeah darkar,most of my interests are different from people around me. But that's not cool all the time!:smile:
 
When you talk to these people who don't understand you, what language are you speaking? What languages do they understand? Maybe that is the barrier.
 
Lisa! said:
Yeah darkar,most of my interests are different from people around me. But that's not cool all the time!:smile:

what kind of interests are you into? do you play dungeons and dragons blindfolded?

no matter how weird, interesting, fun or plain boring it is, the internet is a great place to find people with similar interests..
 
Last edited:
Math Is Hard said:
When you talk to these people who don't understand you, what language are you speaking? What languages do they understand? Maybe that is the barrier.


Usually I speak physicist and they only understand business-major. Even though they are engineering majors.
 
  • #10
franznietzsche said:
Usually I speak physicist and they only understand business-major. Even though they are engineering majors.
yeah, but who cares. you're so cute they just giggle and smile and do the hair flip thing. That's universal!:smile: Even the hardcore engineering girls at UCLA do this with cute guys. They don't want to scare you off - in case you turn out to be a marketing major, or something. :biggrin:
 
  • #11
Math Is Hard said:
yeah, but who cares. you're so cute they just giggle and smile and do the hair flip thing. That's universal!:smile: Even the hardcore engineering girls at UCLA do this with cute guys. They don't want to scare you off - in case you turn out to be a marketing major, or something. :biggrin:

That doesn't help when their idea of conversation leaves me bored and wandering back into Hbar for more stimulating fare :cry: ! Though they are sometimes kinda cute for those first few seconds after the giggling and the hair flip thing :-p .
 
  • #12
franznietzsche said:
That doesn't help when their idea of conversation leaves me bored and wandering back into Hbar for more stimulating fare :cry: ! Though they are sometimes kinda cute for those first few seconds after the giggling and the hair flip thing :-p .
Oy, guys want conversation too?
 
  • #13
honestrosewater said:
Oy, guys want conversation too?


Well, I do. I'm easily bored, I have a sort of ADD when it comes to simple non-intellectually engaging things. Basically, I lose interest in most women very quickly, usually in far less time than it takes to actually judge if a person is worth a date (too be fair, its not that women are boring or vapid, its that people are. But, being straight, the fact that most guys are equally boring or vapid is irrelevant).
 
  • #14
franznietzsche said:
Well, I do. I'm easily bored, I have a sort of ADD when it comes to simple non-intellectually engaging things. Basically, I lose interest in most women very quickly, usually in far less time than it takes to actually judge if a person is worth a date (too be fair, its not that women are boring or vapid, its that people are. But, being straight, the fact that most guys are equally boring or vapid is irrelevant).
Sorry, you lost me after "Well".
 
  • #15
honestrosewater said:
Sorry, you lost me after "Well".

Say what ?
 
  • #16
*giggles*

Actually, considering where words have gotten me so far, maybe I should try not talking for a while. Can someone teach me that hair flip thing? Does it work in the dark?
 
  • #17
Well, I do. I'm easily bored, I have a sort of ADD when it comes to simple non-intellectually engaging things. Basically, I lose interest in most women very quickly, usually in far less time than it takes to actually judge if a person is worth a date (too be fair, its not that women are boring or vapid, its that people are. But, being straight, the fact that most guys are equally boring or vapid is irrelevant).

I finished reading that! Yay for me!

I agree entirely, btw.
 
  • #18
honestrosewater said:
Sorry, you lost me after "Well".
whoops! there went my coffee! :smile:
*searches for something to mop up the monitor*
 
  • #19
MIH, we speak our native language. I was talking about people around me not on net!:wink:
Here people usually can't understand me because of my terrible English. In real life, people can't understand me because I'm interested and get excited about things that they have no idea about them. I have some friends with the same interests, but I can't spend all the day talking to them over the phone or perhaps emails.
 
  • #20
i think i know what mean,
when I am with my freinds from the university my conversation are much different then those i have with my childhood friends\family..

when I am changing enviorement i just change my state of mind to the surroundings... and whenever i want to talk to someone about things that doesn't belong to my current enviorement i meet\call someone from the appropriate enviorement.

heh, i made it sound complicated :biggrin:

anyway, there's no point in getting frustrated over this, just talk about common interests, and save what's on your mind to someone who'd appreciate it.
 
  • #21
You're right! You know my main problem is when I'm excited about what I just hear or come to my mind. I need to talk to someone about it but well,...
 
  • #22
fargoth said:
anyway, there's no point in getting frustrated over this, just talk about common interests, and save what's on your mind to someone who'd appreciate it.


I think you're missing the point. I have ZERO common interests with about 99% of people.
 
  • #23
franznietzsche said:
I think you're missing the point. I have ZERO common interests with about 99% of people.

so you have to find the 1% and talk with them... try searching for that 1% in a geographically near location, so that meating with them isn't that hard.
i find it a lot more fun to talk in person rather then via phone\email\chat...
 
  • #24
I'm not sure even about that %1!:-p
 
  • #25
Lisa! said:
MIH, we speak our native language. I was talking about people around me not on net!:wink:
Here people usually can't understand me because of my terrible English. In real life, people can't understand me because I'm interested and get excited about things that they have no idea about them. I have some friends with the same interests, but I can't spend all the day talking to them over the phone or perhaps emails.
I think I understand, Lisa, but I am not sure. I just asked about languages because I am an English speaker but I am learning to communicate in French and sometimes Farsi. There are not only differences in language to overcome but differences in culture and humor also. It's very complex, don't you think!?

But, yes, there are sometimes things that I want to talk about that are difficult to talk about with someone who is not very knowledgeable on the subject. For instance, at my coffee shop last week, the server was telling me how terrible artificial sweeteners were. But he could not say WHY-- just that he thought that any sweetener (or any food) that was "manufactured" was bad. I thought that was very silly. I spent half an hour describing how these various sweeteners were made chemically and how they may be very useful and actually healthful for someone who has diabetes, but I don't know if it that made any impression. And I was late for work!
 
  • #26
You can speak French and Farsi? :cool:
 
  • #27
fargoth said:
so you have to find the 1% and talk with them... try searching for that 1% in a geographically near location, so that meating with them isn't that hard.
i find it a lot more fun to talk in person rather then via phone\email\chat...


Why didn't I think of that! Its all so obvious now...
 
  • #28
Math Is Hard said:
But, yes, there are sometimes things that I want to talk about that are difficult to talk about with someone who is not very knowledgeable on the subject. For instance, at my coffee shop last week, the server was telling me how terrible artificial sweeteners were. But he could not say WHY-- just that he thought that any sweetener (or any food) that was "manufactured" was bad. I thought that was very silly. I spent half an hour describing how these various sweeteners were made chemically and how they may be very useful and actually healthful for someone who has diabetes, but I don't know if it that made any impression. And I was late for work!


:!) :!) :!) :!) :!) :!) :!) :!) :!) :!) :!) :!)
 
  • #29
Lisa! said:
You can speak French and Farsi? :cool:
I can get around pretty well in French, but my Farsi is a mess. I only took it up to amuse my Iranian friends. They get a kick out of my horrible pronunciation. :redface: We are going out for Persian food today, and they are making me order for everyone at the table. :eek:
 
  • #30
Math Is Hard said:
I can get around pretty well in French, but my Farsi is a mess. I only took it up to amuse my Iranian friends. They get a kick out of my horrible pronunciation. :redface: We are going out for Persian food today, and they are making me order for everyone at the table. :eek:


As long as its funny.
 

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