This is not a joke. Suppose Albert Einstein was born in 1979, not 1879, and to date had not written any articles. Like the old Albert, modern Albert works for a government department. He assesses applications for arts grants. You see, unlike the old Albert, modern Albert studied art after doing a year of physics to please his father. The greatest puzzle of all time is still why the speed of light is constant no matter what. The established wisdom is that light is compressed when it moves, but no one can prove what it’s compressed against. The most popular theory was advanced by Arnold Atomsmasher, who won a Nobel prize for it back in 1945. It involves equations to do with quantum squashing which led to the end of the war in the Pacific. Let's imagine an entirely parallel theory to what we know today has widespread academic support. While daydreaming on vacation last year, Albert got an idea. So when he got home he did a bit of research and wrote an article along the lines of the relativity of time and space. He doesn’t want to give up his day job, but he feels his view could rock. His wife just rolls her eyes. She thinks “my husband is the wrong kind of artist!” Now, everything else about the world is how it is today except with more cranks. What advice would you give Albert about getting his article noticed? A web blog? Surely no self respecting physics journal would publish a non-peer reviewed submission on something so crazy. Should he enrol in an online university course and smuggle his idea into a student assignment? Any ideas? This is a serious question.