My girlfriend, her family, and human dysfunctionality in general

[Lichdar]

That does not constitute evidence that I'm abusive.

It doesn't; it consitutes evidence that your metric is invalid.

I have the ability to communicate with most people if I am sufficiently motivated.

Res ipsa loquitur. Either you do not value communication with your family in law or you are incapable. It seems that it is the former.

It is a logical comparison. Homosexual rights have grown by leaps and bounds lately. Homosexual rights are a perfect analogue for rights for other oppressed groups, such as introverts, allegedly "AS" people, etc.

Illogical analogue of sexual orientation choice to mental disability.

I have a disability that prevents me from emphathizing with others in a normal fashion, causes me to lie regularly, increases my tendency to manipulate and virtually removes my ability to see how things such as human life ought to have instrinsic value. I believe it makes me more capable than most; I still do not go around announcing it to others.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but anti-person of color bigots have little to no significant power over your life, correct?

Are you kidding?

Please elaborate.

A therapist will assist you in developing strategies to more effectively communicate with others in a way, and perhaps expose you to different methods of thinking. You seem strongly convinced that yours is the only appropriate one; as you can see from resistance even here in your peer group, it is not so.

I have always been introspective.

If you say so. You do not seem to admit to any error but slams almost everyone else.

 

[cristo]

First, anyone who associates a person of high intelligence with retardation, is a retard.

It's likely this pompous attitude that her parents dislike.

 

[Mentallic]

First, anyone who associates a person of high intelligence with retardation, is a retard.

I'm not talking about high intelligence, I'm speaking of the fact that JDStupi was suggesting you tell them about your social inadequacies. This could be seen as retardation.

Second, "any type of disorder which hinders your ability to act normal" looks like a tautology.

Not all disorders make people seem different. Mental (extending to physical disorder) and social disorders are the most obvious which people conclude as being a retard.

 

[Femme_physics]

I'm sorry but this is very annoying to me. Are they paying you for service that you have to be extra nice to them? wtf?

On the one hand, she thinks that her parents are being too harsh.

And what about THEM trying to get to know you better? Why is it always you having to do the work? Why is it that you can't be the "harsh" one and judge them like they judge you? What gave them the courtroom and gavel?

And besides, if my parents didn't like my bf I'd tell them to deal with it. He's my bf and I love him. Their damn problem.

As far as that guy they worship, why do you give a damn? I hope you'd stop grovelling for what people you don't even respect like.

 

[Mentallic]

And what about THEM trying to get to know you better? Why is it always you having to do the work? Why is it that you can't be the "harsh" one and judge them like they judge you? What gave them the courtroom and gavel?

No one has to like anyone here, but in order to make things work for his relationship with THEIR daughter, it is probably a good idea he tried to do something about it.

 

[Femme_physics]

No one has to like anyone here, but in order to make things work for his relationship with THEIR daughter, it is probably a good idea he tried to do something about it.

A) Yea, he already did, but now it seems like a bad cycle for him if he starts diving into "psychology" etc. They already formed a not-so-favorable opinion of him, that's normally not that easy to reverse. Frankly the guy seems like a perfectly likable nerd judging from his text anyway, so I wouldn't try to fawn for their love.

B) If it matters so much for their daughter that it affects her relationship with him, I'd start getting a bad opinion of her. At some point, you have to grow up and spread wings and stop thinking what mommy and daddy have to say all the time.

 

[Mentallic]

A) Yea, he already did, but now it seems like a bad cycle for him if he starts diving into "psychology" etc.

I never suggested he do that. I find that a little extreme for his situation since all he needs to do is change his attitude towards less intelligent individuals. There is no need to belittle them, and if you do, this is where it's going to lead.

They already formed a not-so-favorable opinion of him, that's normally not that easy to reverse. Frankly the guy seems like a perfectly likable nerd judging from his text anyway, so I wouldn't try to fawn for their love.

Not quite. I purposely avoid people in my classes that come off as thinking they're better than everyone else. They may be smarter than the average joe, but the rest of us, doing the same class, studying just as hard and getting the same results aren't being up ourselves about it. And yes, it's not easy to reverse, but it's damage he's going to have to deal with - either by changing his attitude now and letting time play it out or having a sour relationship with them from now on, only because they're not giving you something in return.

B) If it matters so much for their daughter that it affects her relationship with him, I'd start getting a bad opinion of her. At some point, you have to grow up and spread wings and stop thinking what mommy and daddy have to say all the time.

From the looks of it, she hasn't been letting this affect their relationship, but it will definitely hinder them at some point. All too often I have seen the daughter go against her parents' wish and then they run off not to speak to them again. And all because of what? A little morality? Not worth it I say.

 

[M-quest]

Mmmm,I agree with cobalt,think you should reconsider your approach

 

[BA Paul 1970]

Hi My friend,

Great post by the way, very articulate!

Few things, I'm 42 and only got a degree in 2010 after 5 years of night school and 20 years of work!

Business Management - no great surprise there (already your academic snobbery is riled?)
Anyway to your post - families are not perfect, you can't get on with everyone all of the time, but as other posters have said, social skills, in any walk of life, yours included, are important. Sounds like your into this chick, say you have kids? isn't it important that they are taught social skills to get them through life - maybe they won't be as academically gifted as you and only get "normal jobs"? Are you going to instill into them that its only ok to chat if the person they are being social with is of an equal intellectual status? No, this is not right. Some of the worlds most successful CEO's or MDs are in the position because they were good at the "soft skills" maybe they had the technical genius but that doesn't put you in charge of a company! Your post was / is one of the most thoughtful / well written posts I have ever read online - you clearly are a thoughtful guy, but you have to be more! sometimes funny, social, friendly, yes sometimes reserved and always good in bed? Get your head out of the books and raise it into the sky. See the blue and the birds, don't even count them. Just enjoy the small things. Your career should take care of itself. Life is not about a career - a career is only 7 or 9 or 12 hour out of a 24 hour day. Hope this helps.

 

[jim hardy]

IF indeed you have Aspergers:
As an aspie myself, i recommend you learn more about the syndrome.

We build layers of self-defense and try to conceal our angst and anger, from ourselves even, because were it 'allowed' it would detract from our self-image.
Non-aspies can sense this. They are more sensitive to body language and social clues than we are.

[ Peer Gynt addresses the onion]

I'm going to peel you now, my good Peer!
You won't escape either by begging or howling.
[Takes an onion and pulls off layer after layer.]
...

What an enormous number of sheaths!
Isn't the kernel soon coming to light?
I'm blessed if it is! To the innermost centre,
It's nothing but sheaths - each smaller and smaller -
Nature is witty!
[Henrik Ibsen, PEER GYNT, Act V, Sc.5]

Once i accepted my disability, life got better.

Good luck !

 

[jim hardy]

oops i didnt notice thread was so old. my bad.