My physics/love poem - feedback encouraged

  • Context: Graduate 
  • Thread starter Thread starter TheTechNoir
  • Start date Start date
  • Tags Tags
    Feedback
Click For Summary
SUMMARY

The forum discussion centers on a poem that creatively intertwines themes of physics, particularly quantum mechanics and general relativity, with romantic elements. The author seeks feedback on various aspects, including meter, rhyme scheme, and scientific accuracy. Key phrases such as "Schroedinger's love" and "superposition" highlight the poem's exploration of love's complexities through a scientific lens. The feedback received indicates a positive reception, with one commenter appreciating the poem's rap-like delivery.

PREREQUISITES
  • Understanding of basic poetic structures, including meter and rhyme scheme.
  • Familiarity with quantum mechanics concepts such as superposition and Schrödinger's cat.
  • Knowledge of general relativity and its implications on perception and reality.
  • Experience in providing constructive literary feedback.
NEXT STEPS
  • Research poetic devices and techniques to enhance meter and rhyme in poetry.
  • Explore advanced concepts in quantum mechanics to refine metaphors in writing.
  • Study the principles of general relativity and their philosophical implications.
  • Practice writing poetry that incorporates scientific themes for deeper literary exploration.
USEFUL FOR

Poets, writers, and educators interested in blending scientific concepts with creative writing, as well as anyone looking to enhance their understanding of poetic structure and thematic depth.

TheTechNoir
Messages
110
Reaction score
0
Hello,

I just quickly threw this together in the last 15 minutes or so and I was curious what people think? I just put it together as a fun little thing. I am open to feedback on multiple levels:
If anyone has suggestions for change to meter, rhyme scheme/structure, wording, etc.
Or also if someone with knowledge of quantum mechanics & general relativity has any errors to nitpick I'd be glad to try and modify a bit to make it a more accurate metaphor; I myself don't have a physics background and only a very shallow understanding of it. Thanks!

It's a sixteen bar verse:
spontaniously birthed, a fleeting couple on borrowed energy, virtual pair
unless the heart is equally shared it's not even there
copenhagen affairs dependent on stares
the lack of it's acknowledgment or embracement
preventing it's inherent existence
Schroedinger's love, nothing about my heart is permanent
it may be alive, dead, a superposition: no determinance
god rolling dice when the heart wants to be in two places
stomach riding butterfly waves, probabilities determine the faces
indefinite predictive power for what's to come
whether we'll heat up and merge together like fusion inside the sun
when subjected to utter isolation void of any enticing relation
is there a macroscopic manifestation, is there decoherence?
if no one's there to speak to my heart, can it still hear it?
a heavy blackness lingers overhead, warping and curving my view
shall I continue ahead, never to return just to see you?
 
Last edited:
Physics news on Phys.org
I liked it. A rap music style of delivery came to my mind as I was reading it.
 
I like it. Before I start reading poetry I always put a cringe face on just to prepare myself, it's a bad habit, but this didn't sustain it.
 

Similar threads

  • · Replies 15 ·
Replies
15
Views
7K
  • · Replies 3 ·
Replies
3
Views
2K
  • · Replies 4 ·
Replies
4
Views
3K
  • · Replies 5 ·
Replies
5
Views
4K