Hey guys, I finished my MSci degree (Physics with Theoretical Physics from the University of Nottingham) back in June achieving an average of 67% over the entire 4 years. My grades in 2nd year were extremely high (78%) and my grades dipped in 3rd and 4th year (though I did get some nice grades like a 95% in the 3rd year Quantum Dynamics module). My grades dipped due to a severe lack in motivation which I attribute to a loss of friends during this time. I basically had no one to hang around with as they all graduated before me and I made no attempt to immerse myself in other social groups. I feel like I fell into a depression, nothing too severe, but enough for me to just want my degree to be over with. This feeling spilled over to my work and I felt like I was done with pursuing a Ph.D. I just wanted to get away from the people I lived with (I didn't get on with them) and just get a job. These feelings have changed though and I'm now considering my Ph.D options for a 2015 start. As I mentioned before I achieved an average of 67%: 78% 2nd year, 64/65% ish in the 3rd and 4th years. I believe that I stand a chance with most non top-tier universities however I think that my 4th year project supervisor is going to slate me in any kind of reference she gives. The truth is, my supervisor and I didn't get on well. This came about due to me missing a couple of meetings (I emailed ahead and said I wasn't going to make them 1-2 hours before, but apparently this wasn't giving an adequate amount of time). Aside from her constantly putting me down, making my work out to be sub-par and generally giving up on how well me and my partner did we managed to make the most out of our project scoring 68% in the process. For a while I was worried if I'd even score 50% in my final project and I began to feel like I was letting my partner down... these feelings made everything worse for me and I was losing sleep towards the end. My partner and I were actually my supervisors first set of undergraduates to be under her supervision which my personal tutor at the time said that her expectations of us might be a bit askew... however I feel like she isn't in the wrong to be disappointed in me for missing those meetings. All in all I feel like I actually put in a lot of effort and did try my best at the time but I feel like these little issues will be the highlight of any kind of reference from my supervisor... even though I did well in my 4th year project. So what can I do in such a situation? Should I speak to her and try and explain myself? Can I just not use her as a reference for my own personal reasons and instead use my 3rd year project supervisor, my tutor etc? TL;DR: Im interested in a Ph.D starting in 2015. I scored a high 2:1 though I believe I could've achieved a first but due to personal issues and turning from a social person to a depressed recluse I lossed motivation and interest (in literally everything). In turn I struggled to attend meetings with my supervisor, missing a few (though I did email ahead) and angering my supervisor in the process. In turn she gave up on me and probably believed I didn't care AT ALL about doing well. What can I do about references from this person?