Physicist, mathematician and engineer jokes.

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  • #2
Moonbear
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:rofl: I like the Hunting and Red Rubber Ball ones the best.
 
  • #3
Argentum Vulpes
:rofl: I like the Hunting and Red Rubber Ball ones the best.

Hey I resent that red rubber ball joke. Now where is my ANSI book on offenses so I can figure out how much I resent it, or maybe it is in one of my ASTM books.
 
  • #4
tiny-tim
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Dirac on a train

I think the "sheep" joke gets it wrong …
Sheep in Scotland

The mathematician looks out the window and corrects the physicist, " Strictly speaking, all we know is that is that at least one side of one sheep is black in Scotland."

i] surely the physicist would know all about how to make observations, while the mathematician may not even be aware that there are two-sided sheep?

ii] and anyway, it was a physicist, Dirac, who made the observation that this joke is based on …

From http://books.google.com/books?id=Gf...#v=onepage&q=Dirac train sheep shorn&f=false" of "Quips, quotes, and quanta: an anecdotal history of physics" By Anton Z. Capri …
Pauli and Dirac were riding on a train through the countryside. After a while, in order to break the silence, Pauli looked for something to say. He saw some sheep and commented, "It looks like the sheep have been freshly shorn." Dirac looked out the window for some time before he replied, "At least on this side."
 
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  • #5
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No, the mathematician lights the papers in the trashcan on fire reducing it to the previous case.
 
  • #6
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Whats a mathematician doing outside your home???
Well, (s)hes waiting for you to pay her/him for the pizza :frown:

Whats the most common question a mathematician will ask?
"Wooouuuldddchaaa like fries with your order sIIIIr/maaaaAAAm???
 
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  • #7
What's the difference between a mathematician and a pizza?

The pizza can feed a family.
 
  • #8
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What's the difference between a mathematician and a pizza?
Would you add apples and oranges ?
 
  • #9
tiny-tim
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Would you add apples and oranges ?

To a pizza? :confused:

Or to a π? :biggrin:
 
  • #10
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To a pizza? :confused:

Or to a π? :biggrin:

lllllloooooooooooooooooollll :rofl: haha so sillyyy
 
  • #12
mgb_phys
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Prime numbers;
Computer scientist; 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime, 9 is prime, 9 is prime, 9 is prime, 9 is prime,

Sheep in Scotland:
Astronomer: after seeing one sheep, - see all sheep in Scotland are black
Computer scientist; Ohh look baa-baas
 
  • #13
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Physicist: How does the universe work?
Engineer: How does an aircraft work?
Mathematician: Do you want fries with that?

These are generic and anything can be substituted for mathematician, we used to use: "Arts Major"
 
  • #14
BobG
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Physicist: How does the universe work?
Engineer: How does an aircraft work?
Mathematician: Do you want fries with that?

These are generic and anything can be substituted for mathematician, we used to use: "Arts Major"

Close.

A physicist curls the fingers of his right hand with his thumb sticking straight out, then rotates is hand around and looks at it from different angles and thinks, "I'm actually getting paid to do this."

An engineer aligns the thumb, index, and middle finger of his right hand so they're all perpendicular to each other, rotates his hand around and looks at it from several different angle while thinking, "I'm actually getting paid to do this."

A mathematician carefully curls the fingers of right hand, and carefully stretches his thumb out along the spatula as the grease from each burger he flips leaves tiny little circular burn marks all along his forearm, he attempts to wipe the sweat from his brow with his left hand, but only smears hot grease across his forehead, and all the while he's wondering if there's some way he can hide in graduate school forever.
 
  • #15
turbo
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Physicist: How does the universe work?
Engineer: How does an aircraft work?
Mathematician: Do you want fries with that?

These are generic and anything can be substituted for mathematician, we used to use: "Arts Major"
My musician friends and I used to use "drummer".

Ex: How many female vocalists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. She holds the bulb in the socket and the world revolves around her.
 
  • #16
mgb_phys
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My musician friends and I used to use "drummer".
What did the drummer get on his theoretical physics exam ?

drool...
 
  • #17
turbo
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What did the drummer get on his theoretical physics exam ?

drool...
How do you know when the roadies have gotten the riser level? Drool comes out of both sides of the drummer's mouth.
 
  • #18
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My musician friends and I used to use "drummer".

Ex: How many female vocalists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. She holds the bulb in the socket and the world revolves around her.

here, we use that joke for argentinans!!!

as well as "dad, when i grow upsh i wanná be just like yoú! so that i can háve a son like mé!!!"
 
  • #19
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Why is 6 afraid of 7 ?


Because 7 8 9.
 
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