Planning to graduate from college early? (And the crap of getting rejected)

[ephedyn]

Well, I just got rejected by my dream college so I am feeling confused, don't mind me if I sound incoherent.

***PERSONAL PROBLEM***
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Firstly, I had something like a friend over there who was truly encouraging and thought I had a good chance at it. More strangely, I got to know this person only to find out more about the college; and now that I'm rejected, I wonder if there's any meaning in talking to her anymore, because I've come to value her as a friend after all. Now I feel pretty guilty about it, as though I let the person down, and I don't know how to break the news about it. Just, "sorry"?

***CAREER PROBLEM***
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Secondly, I'm really glad that the result didn't extinguish my love for physics. And I really owe a lot to the people here at PF. I know many people who find it hard to pursue a certain major if they can't get in a certain school for it, and I think I'm fortunate.

On one hand, I still want to give the school another try, as a transfer student next year. But after reasoning out the hassle of preparing a transfer application, transferable course credits, keeping a reasonable courseload to maintain my GPA etc., I realized that I will at least take 1 more year to graduate. Nothing wrong with this... it feels like a healthy choice.

But on another hand, I can't justify the financial pressure that my education is putting on my family. I know I can graduate from anywhere else that I'll be enrolling in now within 1-2 years, and hopefully support grad school with an assistantship or two. But it probably means that I have to overload my courses, and it makes a transfer quite pointless. I can still apply to a graduate program in the same school, but I think that my priorities for choosing a school will be different if I choose this route.

I feel that the advantages of these two choices are closely-matched, but the plans that I have to make for either are drastically different. And neither promises certain results. So, which will you advise?

*****
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Just to share something in return: I felt empty for like 5 minutes after it happened, so I decided to send a text message to another one of my friends...

"Rejected. I feel very dazed lol, like, not even sad but can't think clearly what to do next."

And he replied...

"Depends on what you plan to do. continue to give chase, or to give up? But I realized the truth to getting there... you just need to upgrade your skills... Don't be too disheartened... At least it means you were better than 3/4 of the male population for having the courage to confess."

I was like, "WTF who did you think I got rejected by?"

 

[kote]

The bottom line is that your undergraduate institution really doesn't make a whole lot of difference in the long run. MIT and everyone else picks state U kids over their own undergrads for PhD slots every year. Undergrad admissions also have so much randomness to them, and everyone knows that.

Do well in college, concentrate on building your resume and research experience while keeping a high GPA, and don't worry about transferring unless you are having problems wherever you are. Not getting into one or another specific school for undergrad does not disqualify you from doing anything in life.

 

[story645]

Now I feel pretty guilty about it, as though I let the person down, and I don't know how to break the news about it. Just, "sorry"?

Why? I expect she'll feel bad for you that you didn't get in, but I seriously doubt she'll feel like you have anything you need to apologize for. College admissions is so totally random and just about everyone at a school understands that. If you want to stay friends with her just broach the subject; she may very well want to keep in touch too.

So, which will you advise?

Choose a backup school you actually want and research it more. Get excited about being there and milk it for all its worth. You can find the coolest experiences anywhere if you just keep your eyes open and don't get bogged down in "I don't want to be here, I need to leave now". If you still feel like you need to transfer when applications come out, sit down with your family and talk it out. Don't worry about grad school 'til you're ready to apply for it, at which point your research interests should guide your decisions.

I was like, "WTF who did you think I got rejected by?"

Your friend rocks and is a good reminder that college is just one more rejection, and that there'll be lots of 'em, and it's just part of having the courage to take chances.

 

[ephedyn]

Why? I expect she'll feel bad for you that you didn't get in, but I seriously doubt she'll feel like you have anything you need to apologize for. College admissions is so totally random and just about everyone at a school understands that. If you want to stay friends with her just broach the subject; she may very well want to keep in touch too.

Thanks a lot for the encouragement... I broached the subject directly like you suggested and I'm much happier now. And mmhmm, I don't mind getting into any of my 'backups'.

Don't worry about grad school 'til you're ready to apply for it, at which point your research interests should guide your decisions.

Oh, this comes as something new to me.

and don't worry about transferring unless you are having problems wherever you are.

This makes sense. I've decided to put my graduation goals ahead of transferal.

Thanks for consoling me. And I'm sorry - I realized I put this thread in the career guidance section - not quite right!