Please help me, not confident about my appeal letter for academic admission

[cbritt]

To whom it may concern,

[STRIKE][/STRIKE] My name is xxxx xxxx and I am writing this appeal letter in hopes to overturn my academic denial decision. Unfortunately my performance in the past with the university was not impressive. I was placed on academic suspension because of a low grade point average. I was disappointed in myself for allowing my grades to suffer significantly. I was in good standing when I transferred to UMSL but I left with a poor standing. During the school year of 2009-10’ I was faced with some hardships and I was struggling with trying to adapt to work, school and becoming a new mother. It is not an excuse for my past failures but those were some factors that lead to me becoming distracted to the point to where I was completely off track in my academics. I will not allow anything or anyone to discourage me or hold me back. I do understand that in life you will face difficulties and I am equipped with enough knowledge, maturity and determination to overcome any challenge. My past experiences have become my best teacher in which I can now use them to my advantage.

[STRIKE][/STRIKE]

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It would give me great pleasure to be accepted into the university and continue my higher learning under the campuses leading early childhood education program. UMSL’s early childhood program gives students the tools to handle children from birth to grade three, which most universities do not allow an expansion after kindergarten. With the future plans that I have this program would be a good fit for me. My goals consist of first becoming a Triton alumnus by graduating with my bachelor’s degree in early childhood education. Secondly, I would like to begin my career as an elementary teacher in an astonishing school district. Third, I want to satisfy my entrepreneur spirit by opening up my own business as a daycare provider; as a single mother I understand the importance of needing help in order to balance family and work. I have dreams that I will accomplish and I know that UMSL will successfully prepare me for my upcoming endeavors. UMSL can be the stepping stone and the first brick to a firm foundation for me to give back to my community. I can turn out to be a good representation of the university and an example of what the university can offer others. I firmly believe that only UMSL can prepare me for my future achievements now that I have a clear path.

[STRIKE][/STRIKE]

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I have taken the first steps by enrolling my children into an early childhood program. I’ve informed my family and friends that I will need their support by keeping my children on days when I need additional study time. I plan on participating more in the classroom during instruction and after class hours I want to build rapport with my professors by scheduling office appointments. If there are moments when I need extra help I will seek tutoring, extra credit, study partner or other helpful resources. I will build networks with the classroom among my classmates; in order attain any knowledge that can help me fill in any gaps. I am a good note taker so I will review my notes frequently. I will utilize the universities library I’ve found that place to be most helpful. I will take no more breaks until I am finished with my academic degree. If you will reconsider I guarantee I will not lose focus even when I’m faced with difficulties. This is not acceptable to me and if given a chance to prove myself I am sure I can show my great potential. My father instilled in me as a child the importance of education and I too will pass this value onto my children. I’m not just doing this for myself but also for my kids and what better way to teach them than by exhibiting my degree as an example. With my degree I can have a career that permits me to give my children a better life. I will be a great role model for my children and my future students. I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to review my letter.[STRIKE][/STRIKE]

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Thank You,

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xxxx xxxx​

 

[berkeman]

Your letter looks good to me. Best of luck!

 

[Andy Resnick]

I see letters like this all the time- it's very 'average'. That said, re-admitting students is significantly more satisfying than dismissing students, and when we discuss applications, we are happy to see someone who has grown and matured and is truly ready to make academics a priority.

You should provide:
1) A letter from the academic advising center (or equivalent) that supports your re-admission.
2) A letter from your academic advisor spelling out clear goals designed to help you avoid being 'distracted' (i.e. course load, tutoring sessions, regular meetings w/ advisor, etc)
3) Evidence that you can meet academic standards: have you enrolled at a community college? We require dismissed students to take at least 24 credit-hours of classes elsewhere prior to re-admission.
4) What have you been doing from 2010-now? (I gather you were dismissed in 2010)- what have you done to demonstrate your preparedness?
5) This is my opinion, but I don't like the tone of your letter- it comes off as immature. For example,"Unfortunately my performance in the past..." "It would give me great pleasure to be accepted...", "I have dreams that I will accomplish..", "I can turn out to be a good representation of the university...", etc. Far better (IMO) to stick to the facts- you were dismissed for poor performance. How did you respond (actions, not emotions) to that? You want to be readmitted to UMSL- why that particular institution, when there are many alternatives?

What has changed since you were dismissed? You must make the case that you are going to make academics a priority, and provide evidence. Otherwise, I hear your letter say only "I'm sorry, give me another chance, please?"

Good luck!