Question about sticky eyes (communication)

[dratsab]

I've read a few books on how to improve communication and social skills, but I noticed some disperaties. In one book, it said that the more you can apply sticky eyes (not taking your eyes off the person) the better. In another book, it said avoid sticky eyes, because it will make the other person uncomfortable with you. The first was written by a woman, so it could be possible it's just an acceptable strategy for ladies, than with men. So, I'm guessing this is how it works:

Man - Man (avoid sticky eyes)
Man - Woman (use sticky eyes)
Woman - Woman (use sticky eyes)

Is this correct?

 

[Evo]

Is this in business or romantic relationships?

 

[collinsmark]

What type of adhesive is recommended? And do you have to use your uniquely own eyes, or can you also use eyes that you may have acquired from others?

I ask because if a person stuck somebody else's eyes on me, I might feel a little uncomfortable.

 

[Proton Soup]

whatever you do, don't stare. it signals dominance and could be taken as threatening or creepy.

everyone is different, tho. i can think better sometimes about what someone is saying if I'm not looking directly at them. this will really annoy some people, and they seem to think you're not paying attention to them. I've actually noticed a guy maneuvering to get in my line of sight when i broke eye contact with him. so, you've got to be adaptive.

tilting the head to the side a bit, like the RCA phonograph dog, will also indicate that you're interested in what they're saying.

 

[lisab]

whatever you do, don't stare. it signals dominance and could be taken as threatening or creepy.

everyone is different, tho. i can think better sometimes about what someone is saying if I'm not looking directly at them. this will really annoy some people, and they seem to think you're not paying attention to them. I've actually noticed a guy maneuvering to get in my line of sight when i broke eye contact with him. so, you've got to be adaptive.

tilting the head to the side a bit, like the RCA phonograph dog, will also indicate that you're interested in what they're saying.

I had the same thought about too-intense eye contact, it can come off as creepy.

 

[physics girl phd]

I thought this post was going to relate to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/StickyKeys" (which I really don't understand, but which my computer always tried to turn on, especially if the baby has been reaching at the keyboard).

That aside, I'd say it's important to make eye-contact, but not stare (into someone's eye's or at anybody part -- yours or theirs).

 

[epenguin]

As for eye contact Lucy Wadham in a book I read recently: "The Secret Life of France" recounts a weird experience with Sarkozy, apparently he tries it on with a woman in every press conference etc. and it works. (The book is apart from that worth the money if you are going to have anything to do with the French.)

tilting the head to the side a bit, like the RCA phonograph dog, will also indicate that you're interested in what they're saying.

This is as far as I know a little emphasised aspect of body language. Some few women (I can only speak of) use head movements, I don't say necessarily deliberately, to incredible captivating effect and you don't realize it is happening.

I for a short time had a fiancee who used this movement you mention a lot, it showed she was very interested in what she was saying.

 

[dratsab]

whatever you do, don't stare. it signals dominance and could be taken as threatening or creepy.

everyone is different, tho. i can think better sometimes about what someone is saying if I'm not looking directly at them. this will really annoy some people, and they seem to think you're not paying attention to them. I've actually noticed a guy maneuvering to get in my line of sight when i broke eye contact with him. so, you've got to be adaptive.

tilting the head to the side a bit, like the RCA phonograph dog, will also indicate that you're interested in what they're saying.

Agree'd, one time I was trying the sticky eyes on someone, and I found it hard to concentrate on what they were actually saying. I think if they see you looking away, they assume you are spacing out.

 

[Proton Soup]

As for eye contact Lucy Wadham in a book I read recently: "The Secret Life of France" recounts a weird experience with Sarkozy, apparently he tries it on with a woman in every press conference etc. and it works. (The book is apart from that worth the money if you are going to have anything to do with the French.)

interesting, thanks. http://www.prospectmagazine.co.uk/2009/06/sarkothesexdwarf/

i wonder if he does it intentionally? that is, to effect a change in his own demeanor that shows up on camera/to the audience as a sort of confidence or seduction?

 

[epenguin]

Thank you. That's the word - sex dwarf! I couldn't remember it and had given the book away, but that is exactly the passage.