Surviving the Worst Case Scenarios: A Scientific Approach

[Moonbear]

I didn't see the answer to the elevator question but this one could come in handy

Dating & Sex Survival

How to Determine the Gender of Your Date

There were also instructions on how to avoid an alien abduction (I think it was under "travel" emergencies). Now we know how seriously to take the advice.

 

[larkspur]

There were also instructions on how to avoid an alien abduction (I think it was under "travel" emergencies). Now we know how seriously to take the advice.

I especially liked the suggestion to try to communicate telepathically with your alien abductor.

 

[BobG]

I didn't see the answer to the elevator question but this one could come in handy

Dating & Sex Survival

How to Determine the Gender of Your Date

* Look at her (or his) hand. Compare the length of your date’s fourth and second fingers. Most men have ring fingers that are conspicuously longer than their index fingers, whereas most women have ring fingers that are close to the same length. Testosterone levels likely account for the greater length. Also take notice of the amount of hair on your date’s knuckles, hands, and forearms. Most men will have visible, dark hair (or signs of recently removed hair) on their hands and wrists, and sometimes knuckles.

* Be suspicious of baggy clothing. Your intended may be trying to conceal a telltale bulge.

* Look for an Adam’s apple. Most men have a bump in the middle of their throat. Most women do not.

* Observe shoulders and hips. Men’s shoulders tend to be broader than their hips, while women’s hips and shoulders tend to be closer to the same width. Do not be fooled by shoulder pads.

* Follow your target up a flight of stairs. Take note of how she (or he) moves while ascending. Men tend to walk in a more “straight ahead” motion with minimal “wobbling” back and forth. Women tend to sway a bit from side to side, due to the position of their pelvises. Women also tend to lean forward slightly.

Be Aware

* Look for at least three of these characteristics before you draw conclusions about your date’s gender, then make your plans accordingly.

* Voice is not always a good indicator of gender—a low voice may simply be the result of hard living.

Ann Coulter has a rather large Adam's apple.

I scored 64% survival and 25% death.

Some of this is just the lesser of evils. For example, if your parachute fails to open, you should hook your arms in the front of your buddy's harness. When his chute opens, the force will probably dislocate or break your arms. The weight of both of you will be more than the chute was designed for, so have your partner aim for a landing in the water. That way you can tread water with dislocated and broken arms until you're rescued.

 

[Moonbear]

Ann Coulter has a rather large Adam's apple.

The jury's still out there. Ann Coulter seems to say a lot of things about women that make it sound like she doesn't consider herself one.

 

[DaveC426913]

Ann Coulter has a rather large Adam's apple.

Some of this is just the lesser of evils. For example, if your parachute fails to open, you should hook your arms in the front of your buddy's harness. When his chute opens, the force will probably dislocate or break your arms. The weight of both of you will be more than the chute was designed for, so have your partner aim for a landing in the water. That way you can tread water with dislocated and broken arms until you're rescued.

Um. Yes. Why do you see this as "just" the lesser of evils?

Living is a lesser evil than dying. Any further granularity is simply picking nits.

 

[larkspur]

Ann Coulter has a rather large Adam's apple.

She has kind of a deep voice too...I have not noticed the length of her fingers though. I'll have to pay attention next time I see her on TV

 

[BobG]

Um. Yes. Why do you see this as "just" the lesser of evils?

Living is a lesser evil than dying. Any further granularity is simply picking nits.

Well, this is a worst case scenario, which means no one is actually coming to rescue you. You'll tread water with broken arms, your buddy with two unbroken arms will swim away, and you'll eventually die alone.

Besides, there doesn't seem to be much variety in their solutions. When describing how to survive when your credit card is declined, they teach you how to dine and dash. They say you should tell your date what's going on so she doesn't cluelessly sit at the table while you're dashing.

In the "How to Escape a Bad Date" article, the procedure seems to be about the same, except you don't tell your date you're about to dash.

Edit: I'm just kind of ticked that I didn't see the "How to Survive Getting Your Tie Caught in the Document Shredder" before last week. You know your coworkers are pathetic when you call for help and they attack the shredder with three-hole punches and staple pullers. Silly, read the warning label, "Ensure staples are removed before shredding". Any fool can see staples will kill the evil beast!