Uncle's Boy Loses Wallet - Is "Boys Don't Cry" True?

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Discussion Overview

The discussion revolves around the phrase "Boys don't cry" and its implications regarding emotional expression in boys and men. Participants explore the cultural, psychological, and social dimensions of this saying, examining whether it holds true in light of personal experiences and societal expectations. The conversation touches on themes of emotional health, gender norms, and the appropriateness of crying in various contexts.

Discussion Character

  • Debate/contested
  • Conceptual clarification
  • Exploratory

Main Points Raised

  • Some participants argue that boys do cry and that emotional expression is a natural human response, regardless of gender.
  • Others suggest that societal conditioning may lead boys to suppress their emotions, viewing crying as a sign of weakness.
  • A few participants reflect on personal experiences with crying and emotional expression, noting that it can be healthy to release emotions rather than suppress them.
  • There are discussions about the appropriateness of crying in different situations, such as public versus private settings.
  • Some participants humorously engage with the topic, suggesting that the discussion is serious yet also light-hearted.
  • References to psychological theories, such as Rational Emotive Therapy and Jungian psychotherapy, are made in relation to understanding emotional responses.
  • Concerns are raised about the implications of emotional suppression, particularly in relation to mental health outcomes for men.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

Participants express a range of views on the topic, with no clear consensus reached. Some agree that emotional expression is important, while others uphold traditional views that discourage crying in boys. The discussion remains unresolved with multiple competing perspectives.

Contextual Notes

Participants reference cultural norms and personal anecdotes, indicating that their views may be influenced by individual backgrounds and experiences. The discussion also touches on broader societal issues related to gender and emotional health.

Who May Find This Useful

This discussion may be of interest to those exploring gender studies, psychology, and emotional health, as well as individuals curious about societal norms regarding emotional expression.

  • #31
the number 42 said:
Monkey trouble? I think we need to start a Men's Health thread if we are going to discuss this. :biggrin:

Well it was something like that and I didn't have a choice in watching it. It was the years fun lesson, rather than work.

The Bob (2004 ©)
 
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  • #32
the number 42 said:
What RET does is put these events on a scale of 'awfulness'. Usually people put something like 'death of a loved one' at 100%. Once you put something like 'losing $800 + other replaceables' on the scale, it doesn't seem so bad. Of course you may want to cry or shout etc, but you probably won't do so for as long when you see that its probably not that bad, relatively.

It sounds a bit 'logical', but with practice it is very useful in a practical way.
?
I think I am not quite following you. I can't 100% understand some of your posts. I am sorry I mean your English. Perhaps my English is so bad...British people have really special and unique tones...
 
  • #33
How many times does a waiter have to smile while taking crap from some jerk to earn $840?

Njorl
 
  • #34
Njorl said:
How many times does a waiter have to smile while taking crap from some jerk to earn $840?

Njorl
I guess a lot, a smile on your face will take the "lookers" heart away and that is one of many ways for me to prove my strength. I am not a waiter though. But my job is to smile with all the people I meet, and to listen to their ideas, finally I have to think up a good 'plan' for future development.

Poor people are everywhere, if you are a rich man, why don't you sleep at home night and day, doing nothing ? Why do you have to come to restaurants ? Is it only to free your craps around, and then ask someone to clean up your mess ?

Hey Njorl, look! <(^.^)/ I am smiling perhaps because I think i already take some craps. I need to bake them! then go make some sauce for a nice super. Ready ? Go!
 
  • #35
the number 42 said:
I get annoyed by selfishness (except my own - that doesn't count) e.g. pushing passed everyone else to get to the front of the queue. What do people do that annoys you?

it's pretty hard actually... people who are condescending without knowing it (or pretending to not know it), or people who repeat what other people have told them in order to seem clever (even though some of the stuff they repeat to you is something you have told them just one day earlier ARRRRGGGHH!)...
but i think #1 is people who talk a lot but don't pay attention to what others say... which often includes following misinterpretation and straw man arguments... (i would stay out of political forums if i knew what was best for me) ... oohhh... and people who make a comment about one little fault in 100 statements, and then totally dismiss the rest as being just as flawed... there should be an open season for those kind of people :biggrin:

hmm... looks like forums are actually the best place in the world to get annoyed for me... except from political discussions with some of my conservative friends... man...

i need to find out why i find those things so incredibly annoying...
 
  • #36
the number 42 said:
What RET does is put these events on a scale of 'awfulness'. Usually people put something like 'death of a loved one' at 100%. Once you put something like 'losing $800 + other replaceables' on the scale, it doesn't seem so bad. Of course you may want to cry or shout etc, but you probably won't do so for as long when you see that its probably not that bad, relatively.

It sounds a bit 'logical', but with practice it is very useful in a practical way.

Maybe useful if you're a computer and can be programmed to decide that "this is only a 20 on a scale of 100, and I'm only supposed to cry for things over 50." C'mon. You don't need to rationalize it like that, just if it bugs you, let it out, and sure, when it's something replaceable that was lost, you will just more quickly recover, but sometimes it's easier to just cry, rant and rave for 20 minutes, then once you're calmer and have that all out of your system, start calling all the places you need to get new IDs and cancel credit cards (and talking to those people will just make you cry again).
 
  • #37
Moonbear said:
Maybe useful if you're a computer and can be programmed to decide that "this is only a 20 on a scale of 100, and I'm only supposed to cry for things over 50." C'mon. You don't need to rationalize it like that, just if it bugs you, let it out, and sure, when it's something replaceable that was lost, you will just more quickly recover, but sometimes it's easier to just cry, rant and rave for 20 minutes...

The problem is the things people do & say during the ranting and raving 20 mins e.g. road rage. Usually these are things they wouldn't have done had they felt more calm. Also, many people can't restrict it to 20 mins, but keep it up for much longer e.g. thinking about it in bed at night for weeks.

By the way, on average girls cry for things over 3 on the scale. No researchers yet have seen the need to find the crying point for boys :-p
 
  • #38
Deniel said:
? I think I am not quite following you. I can't 100% understand some of your posts...British people have really special and unique tones...

Don't worry about it, Daniel. If I reread my posts I usually don't know what I was on about either :frown:
 
  • #39
Really, but don't worry Graham, Deniel will try to understand you as much as you want... :frown:
 
  • #40
Deniel said:
Really, but don't worry Graham, Deniel will try to understand you as much as you want... :frown:

I have never known such kindness... WAAaaaAAHH :cry:

:biggrin:
 
  • #41
Actually there are ppl that don't cry.
Or stopped crying after some event (someone dear died e.g.).
Its just a way of expressing grief, anger, shame.
For some the threshold for starting to cry is higher than in others.
Children have a very low threshold, scare them: crying.
They fall and hit their knee: crying.
In some cases where an individual has experienced something that really hit them hard, their threshold moves up that much they never cry again (that is until something surpases that threshold).

Man this looks so nice, it makes me :cry:

(This is just my opinion, feel free to not agree :surprise: .)
 
Last edited:
  • #42
i think that's true, their threshold gets raised and it would take something like a parents death to make them cry, if they already experienced that then maybe nothing can maek them cry again.
 
  • #43
I personally haven't had a good cry in over 4 years. I've walled up my emotions and thus haven't been able to cry all that much lately. I regret it very much because I really do want to be in touch with my emotions again.
 
  • #44
Marijn said:
Actually there are ppl that don't cry.
Or stopped crying after some event (someone dear died e.g.).
Its just a way of expressing grief, anger, shame.
For some the threshold for starting to cry is higher than in others.
Children have a very low threshold, scare them: crying.
They fall and hit their knee: crying.
In some cases where an individual has experienced something that really hit them hard, their threshold moves up that much they never cry again (that is until something surpases that threshold).

Man this looks so nice, it makes me :cry:

(This is just my opinion, feel free to not agree :surprise: .)

To some extent that's true, but not completely so. Sometimes it takes falling in love with someone who allows you to feel safe enough to express your emotions again to learn to cry again.

But it is interesting that the threshold for crying does change as we age. Afterall, with babies, it's their sole means of communication, a cry can mean ANYTHING, and as we get older, crying takes on more and more specific meaning. It really does seem to signal a feeling of helplessness, doesn't it? As we get older and can take care of more things for ourself, we don't feel as helpless as often, so don't cry as much. Does that make any sense?
 

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