Unlock Pet Separation Anxiety with "Puppy Prozac"

Ivan Seeking
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More than 10 million dogs across the country deal with pet separation anxiety — barking, whining and showing signs of stress when their owners leave the house.

But a pill dubbed "puppy Prozac" promises to change that. [continued]
http://www.abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=3063558&page=1

[ Jill is visiting Joy, whose dog is lying like a lox on the living room floor. Joy throws a ball at the dog, but he just stares at it as it rolls by. ]

Joy: Gee, Sparky's been acting dull and listless lately. I just don't know what's wrong with him.

Jill: My dog Skippy used to be like that.. until I found out about.. [ reaches for box and pulls out a puppy upper ] ..Puppy Uppers. Puppy Uppers pep up your pooch, plus, they help control his weight.

[ Joy feeds Puppy Upper to Sparky ]

[ ripple dissolve to Sparky rolling over, doing back flips, leaping about, and acting speedy ]

[ SUPER: "Later That Day" ]

[ close-up of Sparky jumping up on Joy ]

Joy: Maybe it's me, Jill, but I'd say Sparky's perked up a little too much.

Jill: No argument there, Joy. When my Skippy gets too frisky, what I do is give him these.. Doggie Downers.

[ Jill holds up a box of Doggie Downers, then hands it to Joy, who is still being bothered by the frisky Sparky ]

Joy: [ reading label ] Doggie Downers.. mellows out your mutt. Hmm.. I'll try them. [ feeds Sparky a Doggie Downer; he collapses ]

[ SUPER: "Later That Day" ]

[ ripple dissolve to Sparky lying like a lox on the living room floor, box of Doggie Downers in the shot ]

Jill: That's Puppy uppers for when your dog's like this. And.. [cut to replay of shot with sparky jumping on Joy, box of Puppy Uppers in the shot ] ..Doggie Downers, for when your dog's like this. From Hound-Doze.
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/76/76gpuppyuppers.phtml
Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 2: Episode 7
76g: Dick Cavett / Ry Cooder
Puppy Uppers/Doggie Downers
Joy...Gilda Radner
Jill...Laraine Newman
 
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So...caffeine and valium marketed to dog owners? Meh. Lorezapam is fun stuff though. Does funny things to me.