What Are the Pros and Cons of Promiscuity from a Scientific Perspective?

[Loren Booda]

What are the advantages and disadvantages of promiscuity? Can it lead to lasting love? Is it preferable to pornography? Are men promiscuous by nature?

 

[EmilK]

To my knowledge, promiscuity is seen to a greater extent among males in the animal kingdom than among females.

Since most females carry their offspring in their own body, finding a good mate is imperative, since the only get one 'shot' at producing during that season. A male of the same specie is perhaps more prone to spread as much of its genes as possible (because he can) and as a result, generally, the males of a certain specie have more mating partners than the females of the same specie in any given season (of the ones that undergo mating).

There are animals who only have one partner (or a very limited number) and they would not be considered to be promiscuous per definition. Although what is love in the animal kingdom? Who knows.

If one are to examine the same behavior in humans, we enter a bit of a gray area.

 

[arildno]

Some she-fish carries their males around, the males having been reduced to bags of sperm.

Queen ants mate extensively and promiscuously once before they make a new colony, and carries the sperm gotten from that orgy within her body. She then uses the sperm as needed over the subsequent years.

 

[Loren Booda]

I have "fallen in love" twice to date, both times in Washington, DC. The first experience, at GWU, was from "across the room"; I walked up to her as I had a heavenly epiphany in in her presence. Whether or not she realized how I felt, my inexperience and new found mania caused me in the ensuing weeks to be more libertine on campus than I was accustomed. Long story short, I suffered a psychotic break. When I next spoke to her, she seemed very dissapointed and angry, in the least. In no uncertain terms, she wanted nothing to do with me.

The second love, many years later, was a housemate who had moved out and now lived in a loft on Capitol Hill. She and I were lounging around, when I felt that same "choice" - to put down my defenses and fall in love. We communicated beautifully, and she asked me to spend the night. Ulysses and the siren song! She was well known to sleep around, and had sometimes been a pain in the butt to live with (I had even traveled to Florida with her as a friend). Although I still love her today, I had to make the decision to go home that night (which I often find myself regretting), rather than deal with her moving back in, her "dancing" business, and her unwillingness to commit to a steady relationship. Long story short, she suffered a psychotic break.

I now am happy in a working partnership of four years, but sometimes wonder if the grass elsewhere is greener. I have not felt the ecstacy of love again, but maybe I am just fooling myself.

Promiscuity can interfere with even promising romance.

 

[DaveC426913]

What are the advantages and disadvantages of promiscuity? Can it lead to lasting love? Is it preferable to pornography? Are men promiscuous by nature?

Perhaps some context? Are you talking about a dating strategy? Are you talking about a wildlife strategy? What?

 

[Loren Booda]

What personal lessons can people relate in choosing monogamy over promiscuity (and likewise more risky or less rewarding alternatives)?

 

[ShawnD]

When you date a bunch of people it's basically like having an emotional safety net under you. Having one relationship end doesn't completely crush you because you have others to fall back on. I love it

Monogamy seems a lot riskier because there are more things that can go wrong. Do you want too much sex? Stress on relationship. Do you want less sex than your partner? Again, it puts stress on the relationship. People also seem to get too comfortable when they get 1 partner and stop looking. That "let yourself go" aspect of a relationship seems disrespectful, but most people do it simply because they can. If there's a good chance your partner will sleep with somebody else when you choose to be less attractive, you'll probably think twice before drinking pop 2L at a time and not showering for 3 days. Look at your parents. At least one of them stopped caring.

 

[radou]

When you date a bunch of people it's basically like having an emotional safety net under you. Having one relationship end doesn't completely crush you because you have others to fall back on. I love it

Well, lucky you.

Monogamy seems a lot riskier because there are more things that can go wrong. Do you want too much sex? Stress on relationship. Do you want less sex than your partner? Again, it puts stress on the relationship.

Yeah, but then polygamy fits only in the case when you want way more than too much sex.

Look at your parents. At least one of them stopped caring.

Don't agree, at least not in my case.

 

[Evo]

Let's keep this rated G, we do have some younger kids on here, ok?

If we want to continue this about relationships, without the other (I'm at work), fine, otherwise we need to lock the thread.

 

[ShawnD]

I appreciate Evo wanting to protect the forum, but I'm fairly certain it's against most school rules to use school computers to post things on websites. Next time you're at your kid's school, ask to see the school's computer use policy. You'd be surprised how restricted school internet is. This site may not be blocked by any proxies, but it's still likely to be against the rules. Probably even more so if you live somewhere in the bible belt where discussion of evolution is heresy

 

[Moonbear]

I'll solve the problem right here. Since this is turning into a discussion of the mentor's reminder to keep a potentially sensitive topic appropriate for the young audience we wish to retain at this site rather than even a discussion of the topic, the thread is closed.

 

[Evo]

I appreciate Evo wanting to protect the forum, but I'm fairly certain it's against most school rules to use school computers to post things on websites. Next time you're at your kid's school, ask to see the school's computer use policy. You'd be surprised how restricted school internet is. This site may not be blocked by any proxies, but it's still likely to be against the rules. Probably even more so if you live somewhere in the bible belt where discussion of evolution is heresy

Actually, a lot of members post here from school computers. Our concern is that the site is put on a block/black list. We don't need any angry parents complaining about inappropriate content on this site. We have a reputation for homework help. We need to exercise common sense in line with what our goals are.