Then you must turn to one of the many prostitutes who "make it better" in exchange for money, otherwise known as the Medical Profession.Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if, when you need it "kissed better", but cannot find a volounteer to kiss you, there?
Weave it into a tapestry.Originally posted by megashawn What do you do if you haven't logged on to physicsforums in quite sometime to only find out this thread is still going strong, and might possibly rival the biggest threads in the world?
Clearly a job for Carol King.Originally posted by firefly What do you do if your tapestry begins to unravel, revealing colors different and darker from those of the originating thread?
Cry Crocodile tears, catch them in a plate, heat that with your trusty Mc Gyver portable-blowtorch®, quickly (holding onto the plate) fling the plate in a circle thereby scattering the broiled juice into the eyes of your aggressors, and run like you just injuried several very angry, and aggressive, people. who want for nothing but revenge upon you!Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if six people who haven't bathed in three days are holding you at gunpoint in front of a broken water heater and you don't know how a water heater works, and Mr. Robin Parsons is on vacation at a Library on the other side of the city, incommunicado?
Clearly something with greater insulating value should be interposed between the plates in his head to increase the cpacitances(?) humorificus(?), or, there may be a short somewhere caused by splashed bong water.Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons What do you do if Megashawn returns, notices this thread is still active, but, decides to limit his imagination, as to not be contributing to this endevour to the fullest of his humorifico capacitances?
Quickly/Speedally get out my stenganographic equipment and examine the details that were obviously missed by them that ass'umed that it was insignificant, then re-package the entire package as to ensure that the package was packaged in a packaging manner that belied it's being packaged.Originally posted by a 'spittle'ing' zoobyshoe
What do you do if all there was was one little, indeterminate blink?
Join one of the many support groups for the querilously impaired, or interrogationally challenged.What do you do if you write to one of these groups asking if they have any literature concerning their services and you receive an answer which reads, simply: "Stupid Quetion."?Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if you were supposed to "Ask a Stupid Quetion..." and you didn't!??
or, there may be a short somewhere caused by splashed bong water.
Well, clearly, and thouroughly thought through, thus, wast arrived at by the methodollogies of the methodistically inclined, apparent as it was, that the thought was was what presuppossed the preccesses's preceeding the guesses's that granted the leveaged approachmentaire that supplanted the need of infloormational knowledges as to make's that assertational event astride the placemented! simple as that!Originally posted by megashawn
LOL, how'd you guess?
LOL-ing (i.e. "Lying On Lizards!" or "Leaping Over Lepidoptera!" or "Laying Out Loaves!") is frequently resorted to by all bong-water-spilling types whether you guess correctly or not. If you speak it, they will LOL.Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Why is it that when you guess correctly, the quetioner LOL's?
Attend the delivery with the knowledge that it is probably Aunt Sadies Imortalized by Bronzing Cat, that is instilled in a shine that was vaunted, at cost of production, near a 'cool' million (yet has an inherant value, today, of less then twenty Bucks) knowing that the elderly *Ahem* was really a Good hearted old *&%^$> between those ses('hic)sions that you overheard, and that this is the 'treasure' that is spoken of in the Phrase "One mans Garbage..." such that it's valuation esteeemed is the juxtaposition of the reality hence pricelessly worthless to you!Originally posted by firefly
What do you do if a year later you receive a letter promising delivery of a large inheritance with "divine" implications from a mysterious Aunt Sadys of whom you'd never heard before?
Explain to them that I am not a 'man' but still just a 'little boy', after all they are Man eating lions...not 'boy' eating, that, or, as I was dressed in "wooden clothing" take of my underwear and beat myself a pathway to saftey throught the Lions Pride!Originally posted by jimmy p
What do you do if you were pinnochio and your wish to be human was granted whilst on holiday in Africa whilst standing in a pride of lions?
EDIT: renowned man-eating lions
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What to you do if you remove your wooden underwear only to find out that the skidmarks have actually eaten their way through the heartwood of Oaken Pine?
Get my old pal Robbie the robot to beat the 'dead' RAM/ROM outta it!Originally posted by jimmy p
What do you do if your only friend is that irritating robot from "Buck Rogers in the 22nd century"?
Originally posted by jimmy p
What do you do if you are being chased by wolves with bees in their mouths, and every time they bark, bees fly out to sting you? The wolves obviously move faster than u do.
Well... would be Ka'Bobs, if I'd ever heard of'em followed up with a generous application of the Famous BBq'ed Sauce "Five aces Hot sauce...So hot you going to feel like you just slipped in a 'fifth' ace, at a crooked game, played with seven Armed US Marshals, escorting eight of the most heinous Murderers in U.S. History, (they are playing too) who have just given you the "eyeball"(s) for that fifth ace...Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if you're playing cards with a schizophrenic neighbor and find to your astonishment that, among your other cards, you've been dealt a Duke of Spears and a Four of Cubes?
Fold. Spindle, and mutilate. Rinse. Repeat. Dry on "delicate".Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if you are playing with the "Ace of Stars" as 'fifth' ace?
Spend a good part of the rest of my life trying to figure out just how the heck I knew it was Un-read[/color]Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if you find an unread chinese fortune on the sidewalk?
I'm sorry. I can't answer this question. I haven't read it.What do you do if birds of a feather are all on a tether and they're under the weather?Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do when you finish reading the last Great Un-read[/color] Novel?
This species of elephant accompanying coffee is actually quite harmless, as is the elephant. If you just stop running you can sip the coffee while the elephant rests in a nearby tree. Do not, however, approach the banana.What do you do if you find an unread banana on the sidewalk?Originally posted by jimmy p
What do you do if you are the victim of a cruel joke involving a banana, 2 tons of coffee and an elephant?
Originally posted by jimmy p
Post it in this thread.What do you do if several men from the Corning Glassware Co. show up to inform you that the petri dish in which you were concieved was recently dropped and cracked, is being sent to the recyclers soon and they need your signature on a release form?Originally posted by jimmy p
What do you do if the story is rubbish
Refuse to sign as you could make an excellant case against the Glassware Company based upon the precedental case of "Ferbisher V Friedoutbach/Snopgress/Gouchenarcher/Sillisophski/Hardling whereinuponthereofin the precedental records show Molars V Incissors won the day, handily saving for the problematics of a craked petri's dish's that was resoluted by Solomonistically resolution powers of One JustIce'd Fariest Harriest who stated in his exclamitoryily revealing expostulation of legalistis mootness's "YES!", clearly! solving the Problem!Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if several men from the Corning Glassware Co. show up to inform you that the petri dish in which you were concieved was recently dropped and cracked, is being sent to the recyclers soon and they need your signature on a release form?
Wake up and smell the sound of `one head thunking'.What do you do if the thunk your head makes when you bang it against the mirror waLL turns out to be the rhythm Gloria Estefan predicted was going to get you?Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if the "Law" is, in your case, represented by the 'mirror image' with an extra 'L' leading"? (don't "bang your head" 'thunking' this one out!)
The rhythm, then, has GOT you!What do you do if you find out Gloria Estefan, herself, comes along with the rhythm, to cater to your every whim?Originally posted by jimmy p
What do you do if the only songs you knew were by gloria estefan while you were thunking away?
Stop 'Thunking' that's for certain, start Spelunking...(Huh??)...well it rhymes/rhythm's..Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if you find out Gloria Estefan, herself, comes along with the rhythm, to cater to your every whim?
Edited to correct orthography. HUH?[/color]
Toward rhyming our goal just to climb, wasn't.What do you do if Sam, sick of being an enabler, won't[/i] play it again, no matter how much you threaten him?Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if your rhyme, doesn't?
Dear "editor, of Screwed up HTML" (HUH?? WHERE?) the fact that "Sam" is an "enabler" as you so "unquaintly" place it, is prejudicial and bias and wrongfully judgementalistic and really just a word that Sam need'nt really apply to Herself ("Sam" is a Woman, or didn't you know that?) as she knows herself to not be the ugly, ugly comment that you are using to impune, and deleteriously assault, (yes! I said ASSAULT!) my client, and my clients constitutional rights to be free from all harrassing males, and all harrassing males adjectives and completely free of A*********'s (like yourself) who want for nothing but to impose you mysogynistic methodollogies upon innocenet women who never ever do anything to anyone and are allways 10,000,000.03% innocent and for you to encourage, and aid, and abet, and assist, and help, and wantonly give succor, and offer yourself in such a manner of willfullness, as to want, WANT I tell you to MAKE, force, cajole, corrupt, destroy, anihilate, kill, slay, murder, my client, THATS what you are! Ugly ugly psudeo comic that hides the true...Oooops...Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if Sam, sick of being an enabler, [ b]won't[ /i] play it again, no matter how much you threaten him?
Edited to screw up html
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
How Screwing up "Hyper Text Machine Language[F]" when o[T=6}ne's pages{/T] can't read them, in the first [sp=wrong}palce[sp=wrong]
Dial "Sams R Us" for a replacement.Originally posted by jimmy p
What do you do if Sam, the enabler, becomes unable?
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if the last banana you read is followed by an exiting sequal, but someone has eaten it?
In my youth we found that throwing eggs and toilet paper could defeat any enemy.What do you do if you have some odd kind of head congestion such that there is a squishy noise in your left ear every time you swallow and in your right ear: a couple bars of Stravinky's Rite of Spring?Originally posted by jimmy p
What do you do if you find that bumper pomegranates don't make very effective weapons?
Remove the suit and start feeding them, all the while biting down in time to establish the melody of Stravinski's within there heads as to distrack them enough so's I can Call Zoobyshoe and get him to come by with his truck and rip the door off of the cage as to set me free! Wheee-heeeeeee!Originally posted by jimmy p
What do you do if you were trapped in a banana suit in a cage full of angry and EXTREMELY hungry gorillas?
NOTE it does not matter whether the banana suit if read or unread.
Grab you, and throw you into the cage, with my 'New friends' the Gorillas...Originally posted by jimmy p
What would you do, if by some freak chance, you survive?
You, being thusly ignorant, would respond: "Absolutely, Officer, just as soon as I'm done committing this act of false imprisonment and reckless endangerment!"What do you do if jimmy p takes this opportunity to escape?Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if, while thrusting jimmy p into the cage, your trousers drop down to the ground, a passing female police officer, seeing this, stops, and requests of you to "pull your pants back up", you, being ignorant of the respect required in dealing with the Authoritative Nature of Police officers, respond, How?
Send the Gorillas after him...while asking the "extrodinarily beautiful" (female) police officer, out to dinner...and dancingOriginally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if jimmy p takes this opportunity to escape?
I happen to know that extrordinarily beautiful police Officer, and it just so happens she is afflicted with two "right" feet, so things will balance perfectly.What do you do if Zooby enters with his band of gorillas (guerillas?) and demands that the piano player play it again?Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do when the extrodinarily beautiful police Officer finds out you have Two 'left' feet??
DEMAND first that he "Pay the Price" ( a date with his friend the (beautiful)Police officer!)Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if Zooby enters with his band of gorillas (guerillas?) and demands that the piano player play it again?
Running quickly to the kitchen and the bathrooms I would gather enough eggs and toilet paper to launch an overpowering counterattack. What do you do if you receive the following mail from Greg:Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if while out on a date with the BPO (beautiful Police Officer) you find out that she cannot resist answering emergency calls, (that only she seems to be able to hear) and you are now in the middle of a firefight, with seventeen robbers, using uzi's and rocket launched grenades to suppress your dancing duet style?
Firstly, it's not in Gregs usual typing style so I, for one, would immediately be suspicious, then knowing just how much Greg really cares about me posting here at PF, well...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if you receive the following mail from Greg:
From: ghb@uwm.edu (Physics_Forums_Mailer) Date: Fri, Jan 23, 2004,
2:50pm (PST+1) To: ZoobyShoe@Zoobonia.org Subject: Reply to post 'Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer'
Hello zoobyshoe,
Mr. Robin Parsons has just regurgitated more nonsence than usual in response to a thread you have subscribed to entitled - Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer - in the General Discussion forum of Physics Forums.
Etc...?
