What Essential Items Should I Consider When Moving Out for the First Time?

  • Thread starter Thread starter JasonRox
  • Start date Start date
AI Thread Summary
Moving out by May 1st is a significant step, and understanding potential expenses, including utilities, is crucial. The individual has a list of items they already own and those they still need, such as kitchenware and bedding. Suggestions from others include considering a real mattress instead of an air mattress, acquiring basic cooking utensils, and being mindful of unexpected expenses when stocking a pantry. It's also recommended to have a phone for emergencies and to utilize local libraries for internet access if needed. Preparing for independence involves careful planning and budgeting to avoid being overwhelmed by small, recurring costs.
  • #51
cyrusabdollahi said:
Also, your well past 18. I don't think your parents have to pay you a dime, legally.

It's on paper that they have to.

Child support must be paid as long as the child is a dependant. Usually, a dependant child is one who is under the age of 18. In some instances, child support may continue past the age of 18 if the child is not financially self-supporting, due to illness, disability or because he/she is going to school full-time.

http://www.owjn.org/issues/child/qa.htm

And the divorce papers say that they have to pay until I get a degree/diploma or turn 25. Whichever comes first.

It's legally binding. My dad once attempted to not pay and the credit bureau got involved. He had a fine awaiting him as well as his property would be seized if he tried to continue not paying. So, it's pretty hardcore.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Physics news on Phys.org
  • #52
I just found a case online from the Supreme Court of Canada where two kids moved out and the parents were still obligated to pay. The kids even got retroactive pay because the father stopped paying when they moved out!
 
  • #53
Screw your parents over, yippie!...
 
  • #54
cyrusabdollahi said:
Screw your parents over, yippie!...

Not really. I already talked to my dad about moving out. He said he will help me out and continue paying for support and for school. (He just started paying for school.) He will probably get me the truck to move too!

Although if my mom doesn't pay, he doesn't want to pay. But believe it or not, he wants to pay just so my mom has to pay.

They got themselves in this mess. Not me. So, since I'm in the middle of a mess, I'm going to get out of it and since they put me in the mess, they will help me get out.
 
  • #55
Canada seems very generous. I've heard of some divorce agreements including stipulations for the kid's college tuition, but never child support if they weren't living at one of the parents' homes.

To me, once I moved out of my parents' home, they no longer paid for anything for me. Not that they wouldn't have bailed me out if I really wound up in a bind (i.e., they did pay for the new brakes on the car, and then helped me learn how to install them myself, because I guess they figured they had put too much effort into raising me to let me kill myself driving around without brakes), but it wasn't something I ever counted on. Of course, I never counted on them paying college tuition either, but I think most parents do choose to help with that if they can, so I can understand at least part of the tuition payments being included in a divorce agreement.

Besides, most people just hit a point where they are ready to be independent. When I moved out, and my parents were all upset that I was "leaving the nest," my step-sister pointed out that surely they'd prefer a daughter who was ready to be independent over one who keeps reappearing on the doorstep looking for a place to sleep or needing to get bailed out of one mess or another.
 
  • #56
Moonbear said:
Canada seems very generous. I've heard of some divorce agreements including stipulations for the kid's college tuition, but never child support if they weren't living at one of the parents' homes.

To me, once I moved out of my parents' home, they no longer paid for anything for me. Not that they wouldn't have bailed me out if I really wound up in a bind (i.e., they did pay for the new brakes on the car, and then helped me learn how to install them myself, because I guess they figured they had put too much effort into raising me to let me kill myself driving around without brakes), but it wasn't something I ever counted on. Of course, I never counted on them paying college tuition either, but I think most parents do choose to help with that if they can, so I can understand at least part of the tuition payments being included in a divorce agreement.

Besides, most people just hit a point where they are ready to be independent. When I moved out, and my parents were all upset that I was "leaving the nest," my step-sister pointed out that surely they'd prefer a daughter who was ready to be independent over one who keeps reappearing on the doorstep looking for a place to sleep or needing to get bailed out of one mess or another.

Usually it's the parents that want to be generous, like my friends parents. They chose to pay for school and what not.

For my parents, the court decide on all the numbers. It only passed like 6 months ago, and it took like 6-7 years to get to an agreement. I suffered a lot during that time, which was freaking bull****. They spent more money on lawyers than they did for my schooling would have been if they just paid it to begin with!

Also, I want to be independent, but it's just not practical right now. My sister could have moved out and everything would be fine. She's making mad money. She should have atleast $25,000 in the bank, yet she has like $-10,000 in the bank. That's messed up. When she found she was getting a kid, guess what she did? Bought a LCD TV with a very expensive mount. WTF?

Oh, it gets worse. For the baby shower, I bought my sister some nice things. So, I thought I got it covered. But apparently, she wanted some leather chair and my mom acted as an agent saying I would pay half! Which is like $90! I never agreed to do this. I didn't know about the chair or about having to pay half until a week after it was bought! That's messed up. That's like my weekly paycheck at one of the small jobs I do!
 
Last edited:
  • #57
Yep, definitely getting why you're chomping at the bit to move out. Zenmaster and I were talking not too long ago about our parents, and where shocked to learn they are very much alike...while we were surviving on Ramen noodles in grad school, they were feeding the dogs steak. Well, my parents fed the dog hamburger, not steak, but I was shocked when I was asked to dog-sit one weekend and they showed me all the burgers in the freezer and my mouth was watering envisioning some nice, juicy, rare burgers for dinner, and then they finished the sentence explaining that I should cook those for the dog!

Just remember, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Some day, hopefully all will go well and you'll make a great parent remembering these experiences and vowing not to ever do that to your own kid(s).
 
  • #58
Moonbear said:
Just remember, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Some day, hopefully all will go well and you'll make a great parent remembering these experiences and vowing not to ever do that to your own kid(s).

Yeah, that's the plan.

You want to know what's really crazy. I have a hearing disability, so when I was a kid my parents got a tax break of $10,000. It would have been nice if they put it up for school for us 3 kids. I never saw it.

My life hasn't been all that bad, but it's quite sad that a lot that I have learned came outside of the house or all that I have learned is outside the house. My friends are amazed that I'm completely different from my family. They consider me very lucky that I came around in good shape.
 
  • #59
Moonbear said:
Just remember, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
If that were true everyone with a difficult childhood would be a strong person.
 
  • #60
Moonbear said:
To me, once I moved out of my parents' home, they no longer paid for anything for me. Not that they wouldn't have bailed me out if I really wound up in a bind (i.e., they did pay for the new brakes on the car, and then helped me learn how to install them myself, because I guess they figured they had put too much effort into raising me to let me kill myself driving around without brakes), but it wasn't something I ever counted on. Of course, I never counted on them paying college tuition either, but I think most parents do choose to help with that if they can, so I can understand at least part of the tuition payments being included in a divorce agreement.
Same here. Except even though they weren't technically supporting me any more, my dad usually gave me anywhere from 1 to 3 hundred dollars every time I visited (I lived out of town after moving out). He kept that up for a long time, well into my 30's. After a while, I kind of found it a little embarrassing, even though I all I ever did was thank him and keep it.

I can't help but keep up the tradition whenever my daughter comes to visit. :smile:
 
  • #61
Smurf said:
If that were true everyone with a difficult childhood would be a strong person.

Nope, a lot succumb to it. Jason seems to have his wits together about it and sees the problems, and is breaking loose from them. But, it's also about attitude. If you look at things that have gone wrong in your life and sulk about it and just resent everyone for it, it gets you nowhere, but if you take every setback as a learning experience, and figure out how you can improve things so it doesn't happen again, or so you don't make the same mistakes others have made, then you are going to be a stronger person for it.
 
  • #62
I agree.

I see many people with tough childhood and they still follow the same foot steps... sometime they run through those foot steps!
 
  • #63
Oh boy!

I really need to move!

It's killing me..........

I did a little tease thing for my girlfriend on Facebook and they jumped right on and was like... that's bad blah blah blah blah... leave me the **** alone. Drama every damn ****ing day.
 
  • #64
I think you need to spend a lot of time at the library studying for finals until you can move out. :wink:
 
  • #65
Moonbear said:
I think you need to spend a lot of time at the library studying for finals until you can move out. :wink:

I just never leave my room. :biggrin:

I tried the library thing before. I tried staying at school from 10am to like 8pm everyday, but I just couldn't do it. Food at school is digusting and expensive, and eating out of a lunch box out of for lunch and diner is not satisfying.
 
  • #66
Ok, some of the apartments I looked at are already gone. And the others came out more expensive than advertised.

So far, I have two possible ones at...

$475 plus utilities and $625 all bills paid.

The best location is the second one. I haven't checked them out yet, but I hope to on Friday. I have a scheduled visit for the second one, but not the first yet.

It's really hard to set this up because I can only call when no one is home. I can't have them call back because my mom would kill me if I planned on moving out. I have exams.

Annoying as hell. Sister should have moved out. Who doesn't move out when making $60, 000 a year. That's messed up.
 
  • #67
Ok, so I never got to move out. Money was just too tight.

Now, I just avoid being home when possible.

The problems getting even bigger now. The baby just cries like crazy now. I can't study in this house worth ****. My mom moved back in! She doesn't even have a room yet so she sleeps on the couch. So many people in the house.

Anyways, I talked to a Legal Advice Representative and he helped me out a bit. I'll have to go talk to a lawyer about it some more though. It sounds really bad, but I'm getting really screwed out of this.

Like I said, I never seen a dime for years when my dad was paying insane amounts of child support. That was the first mistake the representative (who is a real lawyer and not getting paid). They didn't pay for my schooling at all before either. Again, they make a combined income of $150,000. Anyways, I asked him that I just want support when I move out for my last year. I don't want to prolong the year to another because of crap going on in the house or what not. I went through hell to get here and my parents making loads of money just watched me go through hell and kept saying they had no money yet they went on trips, bought new cars, new furniture, new motorcycle, so quite honestly I'm sick of this ****. Like I said, and the lawyer agreed, that I'm only asking for minimal support to help me finish my last year. Although I've been screwed up the ass for like 4 years, that's all I want and I want out.

My dad said he's willing to help out for sure. He doesn't seem concern at all. He's willing to put more than enough on his part although I told him I'm only asking for half.

I haven't talked to my mom about it yet. I want to talk to another lawyer to make sure my position is safe and she has to help support.

I know lots of you are like... go out on your own and stuff. But you know what, I did full-time schooling and full-time work for too long when the whole time they had more than enough to help me out... atleast just a little and they chosen not too. I'm done in one year and I'll probably never see them again. (Yes, it's that bad.)

Anyways, the lawyer said my options if they choose not to support is to sue them. Sounds crazy to sue your own family, but again, I'm asking for less than what I'm suppose to be getting right now! So, if they choose to cause all hell and like "kick" me out of the family or whatever because all I want to do is move out in a student housing for my last year for peace and quiet (live with serious students), then I'll ask for all that I can get and not give them any space or pity... because I'm going nuts over this crap. It's not healthy at all to stay here any longer. (The total amount way more than enough because of the 4 previous years of refusing or lieing about helping at all, which is in the thousands and thousands of dollars.) The cost to sue is zero because I'm a student.

Note: The baby is cute and everything, but I don't want the responsibility of a baby crying when I'm trying to study. Nevermind the dog that isn't even trained that barks all day and pees in the house. Or the cat that pees everywhere.
 
  • #68
Have you considered living with a few roommates? I live in a house with three other guys, and the rent is very, very cheap. You can get by with about $350 a month total (the winter may be a tad bit more expensive if you are careless with heat).

How are you going to afford a lawyer to sue your family? I wouldn't even bother. Just hit them up for the max amount of money they will spare, and put up the rest on your own.
 
  • #69
Maxwell said:
Have you considered living with a few roommates? I live in a house with three other guys, and the rent is very, very cheap. You can get by with about $350 a month total (the winter may be a tad bit more expensive if you are careless with heat).

How are you going to afford a lawyer to sue your family? I wouldn't even bother. Just hit them up for the max amount of money they will spare, and put up the rest on your own.

The cost is free like I said.
 
  • #70
JasonRox said:
The cost is free like I said.

Oh, I see, for some reason I thought you said the consultation with the lawyer is free.
 
  • #71
Maxwell said:
Oh, I see, for some reason I thought you said the consultation with the lawyer is free.

Yeah, the consultation is free and I asked him how much it would cost to sue, and he said it was free to bring it to family court.

The lawyer is supplied by the regional government.
 
  • #72
Danger said:
This slipped my mind until Bob's last post. I always like to keep a stash of nylon and/or aluminum screen around. It's cheaper than dirt, and has lots of uses. One of those is to stretch a piece through an embroidery hoop (about 50¢ at a craft or fabric shop) to act as a strainer. With a stick duct-taped on for a handle, this can double as an improvised fly-swatter, although you might want to wash it before using it for your pasta, or a badminton racquet should you happen to be invited to a match.
A bigger piece (aluminum only) makes a good safety guard when you're frying bacon naked, and you can make your own teabags out of little bits. Some of it scrunched up works as a 'scrubby' for cleaning pots and such.
Last, but not least, a bunch of it rolled up and stuffed in a paper-towel tube serves as a semi-effective silencer if you have to start shooting mice.
Danger, that's Genius! Do you have anything else that cool?
 
  • #73
JasonRox said:
I did a little tease thing for my girlfriend on Facebook and they jumped right on and was like... that's bad blah blah blah blah... leave me the **** alone.
Who what? You were teasing your girlfriend online? Who jumped on? I'm not even going taks. :confused:
Well, my parents fed the dog hamburger, not steak, but I was shocked when I was asked to dog-sit one weekend and they showed me all the burgers in the freezer and my mouth was watering envisioning some nice, juicy, rare burgers for dinner, and then they finished the sentence explaining that I should cook those for the dog!
Don't tell me you didn't first cook yourself a few and then pack some to bring back to your place :smile:
 
  • #74
Mk said:
Who what? You were teasing your girlfriend online? Who jumped on? I'm not even going taks. :confused:

Don't tell me you didn't first cook yourself a few and then pack some to bring back to your place :smile:

My mom and sister went all over it. They are pure drama queens.

It's way worse than I'm saying though. I can even describe it. People online normally say just move out on your own and that's how we did it back in the day... yadda yadda. The problem is I'm not even fully capable of describing how bad it really is. Friends parents agree that my parents should pay. They're the ones that suggested it in the first place because they see the crap going on and so on.

Put it this way, I don't even feel comfortable bringing girls or friends over. Nevermind throwing a little party or something.
 
  • #75
mess

Sounds to me like you're in for the long haul. Get your degree and get a job. Unlike your sister, don't have children. Also, save as much money as possible. When that's all said and done with, you can use your new paycheck to get an apartment. In a decent neighborhood, decent location -- at a decent price. Until then, just be a student... stay away from home as much as possible... get involved in activities at your school. FINISH! As quickly as possible. Join a fraternity. Party. Be a kid, and don't go home to do anything but sleep and eat.
 
  • #76
JasonRox said:
It's way worse than I'm saying though. I can even describe it. People online normally say just move out on your own and that's how we did it back in the day... yadda yadda. The problem is I'm not even fully capable of describing how bad it really is. Friends parents agree that my parents should pay. They're the ones that suggested it in the first place because they see the crap going on and so on.

I'm sort of in similar situation with my family. Except unlike you, I decided to "move out on my own" like back in the days. My family situation wasn't quite as difficult, but in my opinion, still intolerable.

So anyway, I'm 19 and I moved out over a year ago, thinking I would just start my adult life, whatever it takes. Of course, my parents refused to pay for school, so I took the year off. Then when I tried going back this fall as an in-state student, they told me I needed financial independence. I told them I was, but they checked my taxes, and it turned out my family was still claiming me as a dependent, even though I lived on the other side of the country with no financial support. So I contacted my family and threatened to sue if they didn't refile their taxes. That took months to straighten out, but eventually did. Turned out I needed two years of independence though, so now I have to wait another year...

I wanted to go back to school, so i said f-that. I've decided to pay triple the cost for out-of-state, figuring I can get loans. NOPE. So, in order to filie my FAFSA I need my parents financial information for the expected family contribution. Of course, my parents do make a fair amount of money, even if they won't give me a dime. Even though I'm independent according to the government, I'm not according to the US public school system. You're only independent if you have a bachelors or are over 26. So, despite fighting for the better part of a year for independence, I'm not. And now they expect my family to pay 18k for my education... which is more than tuition costs... which makes my loan prospects quite slim.

So bottom line is that even though I tried to be responsible for myself, and not hurt my family, it didn't matter. Society no longer is set up so that kids can move out and become adults at a young age. You're all but forced to depend on your parents anyway. It sucks that things aren't easy for you, and I truly emphasize. Get your parents to pay for it. They should, and its not fair that you should have to anyway. Once you have your degree, life will be easier, you can get a good job, leave your family behind and start your life on your own. Good luck!
 
  • #77
Gale said:
I'm sort of in similar situation with my family. Except unlike you, I decided to "move out on my own" like back in the days. My family situation wasn't quite as difficult, but in my opinion, still intolerable.

So anyway, I'm 19 and I moved out over a year ago, thinking I would just start my adult life, whatever it takes. Of course, my parents refused to pay for school, so I took the year off. Then when I tried going back this fall as an in-state student, they told me I needed financial independence. I told them I was, but they checked my taxes, and it turned out my family was still claiming me as a dependent, even though I lived on the other side of the country with no financial support. So I contacted my family and threatened to sue if they didn't refile their taxes. That took months to straighten out, but eventually did. Turned out I needed two years of independence though, so now I have to wait another year...

I wanted to go back to school, so i said f-that. I've decided to pay triple the cost for out-of-state, figuring I can get loans. NOPE. So, in order to filie my FAFSA I need my parents financial information for the expected family contribution. Of course, my parents do make a fair amount of money, even if they won't give me a dime. Even though I'm independent according to the government, I'm not according to the US public school system. You're only independent if you have a bachelors or are over 26. So, despite fighting for the better part of a year for independence, I'm not. And now they expect my family to pay 18k for my education... which is more than tuition costs... which makes my loan prospects quite slim.

So bottom line is that even though I tried to be responsible for myself, and not hurt my family, it didn't matter. Society no longer is set up so that kids can move out and become adults at a young age. You're all but forced to depend on your parents anyway. It sucks that things aren't easy for you, and I truly emphasize. Get your parents to pay for it. They should, and its not fair that you should have to anyway. Once you have your degree, life will be easier, you can get a good job, leave your family behind and start your life on your own. Good luck!

OMG! They still filed you as a dependent. I would have freaking flipped out beyond belief. It's kind of funny how you live on the other side of the country because that's where I'm planning on moving after school. :biggrin:

My situation is bad and so is yours. I really hope your education plans start turning around. I believe you're officially starting this September? Right?
 

Hot Threads

Recent Insights

Back
Top