What Happens When Superman Plays a Prank in a Bar?

[abushehab]

Two men are sitting at a bar, slowly sipping their drinks.

After a while, the first man approaches the other man, and sits next to him. "This place is great, isn't it?" he asks.

The second man, somewhat surprised at the stranger's remark, replies, "Why do you say that?"

The first man, in a low tone of voice, responds, "Follow me." The two of them walk over to a large window at the end of the room. The window faces out onto the street, 12 floors below.

"Here's why." The first man throws open the window, and boldly steps out into thin air. But he remains aloft!

"The air currents are great here!" he exclaims. "It's very relaxing."

He floats back into the room. As his feet return to the bar-room floor, he invites the second man to try it.

The second man, skeptical, peers out through the window - down to the pavement twelve stories below. He looks to either side, and finally up above, to see if there was anything holding the first man up.

Convinced that it was no trickery, the second man swallows, closes his eyes, and steps out into thin air. He promptly falls twelve stories to the pavement below.

The first man grins and returns to the bar. Looking rather irritated, the barkeep comes over to the place where the man sits.

"You know," he says, disgusted. "You're a real jerk when you're drunk, Superman."

 

[Chi Meson]

I though I'd contribute by just printing the punchlines to my favorite bar jokes:

…but a third guy ducked just in time.

…and one of the horses says to the other, “I’ll be damned, a talking dog!”

…and the guy says to the bartender “well I just bet that guy $500 that I could p*** all over your bar and make you laugh!”

… and the string replied “No, I’m a frayed knot!”

…and then the guy stops and says “Wait a minute, my name isn’t Bob!”

… and the bartender says “What is this, some kind of joke?”

 

[OmCheeto]

Two men are sitting at a bar, slowly sipping their drinks.
...place where the man sits.
...
"You know," he says, disgusted. "You're a real jerk when you're drunk, Superman."

My bartender says he's heard that joke at least a hundred times.

I liked it though. It's like old news. If you ain't heard it before, it's a new joke.

although... hic! I think I heard that one before...

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I though I'd contribute by just printing the punchlines to my favorite bar jokes:

He thought that I said I wanted an eighteen inch pianist

Two iron workers walk into a bar

 

[quantumdude]

A priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "What is this, some kinda joke?"

 

[Poop-Loops]

Thanks, I need something to get the taste out of my mouth.

 

[Cyrus]

A man walks into a bar after seeing a sign that says "Free drinks for a month and $150 to anyone who can make my horse laugh" So the man walks up to the horse and whispers in his ear. The next thing you know sure enough the horse is rolling on the floor laughing. The man gets his free drinks and $150. The next month he walks into that same bar and sees a sign saying "Free drinks for a month and $150 to anyone who can make my horse cry". The man walks up to the bartender and asks him if he could take the horse out back for a minute and the bartender says "yes but if you hurt him I'll kill you" so a few minutes later the man walks into the bar and the horse walks into the bar after him balling. The man goes to collect his prize and then the bartender says "before I give you the prize you will first tell me how you made my horse laugh, and then you'll tell me how you made him cry." The man replies "Well to make the horse laugh I just simply told him my penis was bigger than his. Then to make the horse cry I showed him"


HIYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

[jtbell]

A neutron walked into a bar and ordered a drink. The bartender served the drink and said, "for you, no charge!"

Then there's the following limerick, which doesn't involve a bar but does involve alcohol:

The poet, J. Alfred Neutrino,
Who subsisted sublimely on vino,
With a spin of one-half
Wrote his own epitaph:
"No rest-mass, no charge, no bambino!"

(the "no rest-mass" part is obviously out of date... )

 

[Moonbear]

Don't we already have a lame jokes thread? (Darn it Greg, we NEED that :groan: smiley!)

 

[tribdog]

eighteen inch pianist. gets me every time