Sod It!
Kakarot said:
hurry remove my heinous theory before I am stoned by the science community
No! Not yet! It might come in handy to explain something else!
I have come across another mysterious phenomenon that really does need investigating and fast.
I call this "Spontaneous Object Disappearance" (SOD) for example just now I went looking for my copy of "Kay and Laby" (Physical and Chemical Constants) and not only was it not on the shelf with the dictionaries where I left it but a quick search of my flat revealed
that it was nowhere to be found! This has happened far too often to be mere coincidence. I first noticed this phenomenon years ago when during a game of chess one of the pawns fell on to the floor. A quick search failed to recover the pawn and subsequently I Hoovered the carpet and there was no tell-tale clatter from the object rattling past the roller! I emptied the dust-bag on to a newspaper and carefully went through the contents with my fingers (Yuk!) - nothing! This is where I first became aware of the phenomenon and in a Archimedes style ephiphany leapt to my feet and shouted "SOD!"
Subsequently, I discovered more missing objects - or rather failed to find missing objects that really should have reappeared following a good search. I also noticed that there were certain conditions which tended to favour a SOD event such as when there were a lot of people present. Indeed, after one overnight party I held when I was a student I found the next day that
all of my ABBA records had gone! (God! That dates me!) Now I know what you are thinking. Someone at the party stole the records but I have already thought of that. Whenever I casually dropped the subject of ABBA into a conversation everyone expressed a dislike for said Swedish Songsters! Explain that you sceptics!
How could they have been stolen when nobody wanted them in the first place?
During my student years I experienced many SOD Events. The commonest being my disappearing homework, essays and library books. But single earrings were and remain the commonest! Now this cannot be someone stealing the earrings as if so
they would have taken the pair! A single earring is use to neither man nor beast - especially as they were always the girly drop type and no man would steal those (well none of the men who found their way to my flat anyway! - Oh no.) Ashtrays and towels also disappeared on occasion and yet none of my student friends smoked and few of them washed so how does one explain that?
As a partial explanation I frequently discover wire coathangers in my wardrobe when I never purchased said object and I have also found towels bearing such legends as "Istanbul Hilton" or "Charing Cross Hospital". All very mysterious but suggesting that when objects disappear the also appear somewhere else. This has led me to postulate the mini-black hole theory. My current version of this theory is that the physical universe is actually constructed out of extremely small black holes which exist in charged pairs each with a half spin and out of these are constructed quarks and subsequently all matter. When a nutrino strikes a pair of mini-black holes they split in two and a chain reaction causes a positive or negative midi-black hole to form that is large enough to swallow earrings, books, records, coathangers, towels - or even people (I never did explain the mysterious disappearance of the guy I got back to my flat on Christmas Eve). Depending on the polarity of the midi black hole it either absorbs or ejects objects.
I have subsequently noticed an Information Technology version of the phenomenon. This is when documents and other files stored on my PC totally disappear or even more weirdly turn out to be something totally different with the same name - such as when my notes for a presentation that I had painstakingly compiled on the previous day were mysteriously replaced by a template for producing a "Congratulations on your new baby!" greeting card! This has happened so frequently that I always half expect it now and whenever it occurs I just announce it with the acronym; "SOD IT!" and move on to something else.
Has anyone else noticed any SODS whilst going about their work?
Zoe